Why Do Mormons Have a Tendancy to be Judgmental?

[_Runtu]

So do I.

Ironically, a lot of Church members I have spoken with found Elder Maxwell to be boring, or speaking over the heads of the masses.

I liked Elder Maxwell but hated his rhetorical flourishes.

[_Bond...James Bond]

One of the reasons I loved Elder Maxwell so much is he did talk about these things. I miss his voice.

So do I.
Ironically, a lot of Church members I have spoken with found Elder Maxwell to be boring, or speaking over the heads of the masses.

Of course...most of the sheep (in any religion) don't want to be told about treating people better, they want to be reassured that they've got the truth....and that others don't. It's the worldest biggest country club deal...where every club has the best golf courses and everyone else is going to hell. Basically you instill the truth of your religion by telling people how superior they are to other religions...although every religion is basically the same, except the sand traps are in different places and fairways have a different shape. But at the end of the day everyone wants to get back to the club for heavenly happy hour.

[_Some Schmo]

I think being judgmental is a defense mechanism for most who engage in it. I’ve heard it postulated that the things that bother us about other people most are the things we unconsciously don’t like about ourselves. Judging people deflects attention away from our own flaws, and misdirects them on others.

So what does that mean for Mormons (or folks of most other religions, for that matter)? If you are conditioned with a frame of mind that perfection is not only possible, but the goal, then any unconsciously perceived imperfection is going to produce imbalanced amounts of shame and guilt. Rather than acknowledging and actually accepting their own personal flaws, they perpetuate the same unrealistic expectations of others, and assess them based on those lofty ideals. I think it’s a natural tendency for humans to distract themselves from their own pain by reveling in the pain and problems of others. “If I can knock you down, I end up being in a higher place.” (That’s what they think, anyway… never really pans out though).

This idea is part of the reason I’ve felt for a very long time that religion and belief in god foster immaturity and a lack of personal responsibility (I have plenty of other reasons for thinking so, but this is part of it). It’s one thing for religions to say, “Judge not lest ye be judged,” yet it’s another for them to actually practice what they preach. Clearly, there’s little premium placed on encouraging maturity among congregations by example. Why do you suppose members are often referred to as “children” and “sheep?”

That’s my take on it, anyway.

[_SatanWasSetUp]

But we can still take responsibility for our own actions. Maybe if we can take baby steps in at least attempting to be less judgmental toward each other, it will catch on.

Why is it so difficult to give people the benefit of the doubt? You mentioned "Bill", who hadn't attended the temple in two years. Maybe "Bill" hadn't attended the temple because he was working, and the travel distance was a hardship. Maybe he had to take care of an ill family member. Why must we always think the worst of people? I guess because it's so much juicier than thinking the best of people. *sigh*

I believe the attitude is a result of increased focus on behavior as a sign of commitment to the church. Yes, we were told the Lord judges the heart, but our lessons were always about do's and don'ts (think of For the Strength of Youth, for example). When outward behavior is such a huge focus, of course people will begin to judge others by their adherence to these "standards" as indicative of "values" or lack thereof.

For what it's worth, I'm not sure Mormons are any more judgmental than other religious conservatives I've met, though the focus is slightly different.

Yes, Runtu. You've summed up my thoughts with more brevity and eloquence. This thread is a great topic, and it reminds me of that scene from "The Singles Ward" where the stand up comedian says he is working on an X-Rated Mormon movie, but it won't have sex or nudity. It will be rated X for guilt. There is a lot of jugmentalism and guilt in Mormonism to the point that even Mormons jokes about it.

[_wenglund]

I wonder what the proportion of judgemental statements that are made among the general membership of the Church is compared to what one may find on boards such as this (this thread not excluded)--I include myself among the latter.

I would venture to guess that the proportions would be quite disparate, and not favorable to boards like this.

Yet, look at where we put our focus.

I have noticed this mote/beam tendancy in myself, and I am in the process of correcting this by trying (though not always succeeding) to first and foremost focus inward whatever light of criticism I may be inclined to shine, realizing that the only person I can control is myself, and the best place to start with most any solution to interpersonal issues is with me.

So, with that in mind, let me self-critically ask:

1) Do I have a problem with judgementalism?

Yes.

2) Why do I think I have this problem?

For the most part, I believe it is a function of my insecurities, and a propensity to distract myself from my own discomforting issues by focusing on the issues of others.

3) How do I overcome this problem?

By working to improve my self-security and sense-of-self through concentrating on becoming the kind of person I can better admire and appreciate, and by developing more functional skills for attaining mutual love, value, and respect. The motivation being: I, personally, and those I love and care about, will be far more benefited by me doing so than were I to resort to judgementalism.

To the extent that I have been successful in this endevour, the stated motivation has been realized, and I would commend the same to one and all.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Jason Bourne]

One of the reasons I loved Elder Maxwell so much is he did talk about these things. I miss his voice.

So do I.

Ironically, a lot of Church members I have spoken with found Elder Maxwell to be boring, or speaking over the heads of the masses.

Me too.

[_Jason Bourne]

So do I.

Ironically, a lot of Church members I have spoken with found Elder Maxwell to be boring, or speaking over the heads of the masses.

I liked Elder Maxwell but hated his rhetorical flourishes.

I really enjoyed them. He just had great fun with words.

[_Runtu]

So do I.

Ironically, a lot of Church members I have spoken with found Elder Maxwell to be boring, or speaking over the heads of the masses.

I liked Elder Maxwell but hated his rhetorical flourishes.

I really enjoyed them. He just had great fun with words.

I'm an editor by trade, so it's my job to hate stuff like that. ;)

[_SatanWasSetUp]

The three-fold mission of the church is: 1) Proclaim the gospel. 2) Perfect the saints. 3) Redeem the dead. I am curious if having a non-judgmental attitude fits in with #2. Here is what Gordon B. Hinckley said about the three fold mission.

"He has given us a three-fold mission: first, the teaching of the restored gospel to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people; second, the building of the Saints in their faith and encouraging them in all of their activities to walk in obedience to the commandments of the Lord; and third, the great work of salvation for the dead."

It seems being judgmental is part of "perfecting the saints." You can't encourage someone in all their activities to walk in obedience to the lord if you have not already judged that they aren't. I think being judgmental is simply part of being a Mormon. I may be off base here, but how can you help someone who is struggling with perfection if you can't measure their level of perfection?

[_Mister Scratch]

I think that the answer to this question is complex, but I think the TBM tendency towards being judgmental stems primarily from two impulses. One is the sense that "God sees everything you do." Constantly feeling like you are being watched and judged by Heavenly Father is bound to make you a bit judgmental---not only towards yourself, but to others as well. This further helps to explain why this judgmentalism seems to be especially prevalent and noxious amongst LDS with power---e.g., high-ranking priesthood holders and/or their wives. The second impulse is the TBM sense of "rightness" that often borders on arrogance. The feeling is summed up in the slogan, "The LDS Church is the one true church on the face of the earth." Constantly feeling that you are right, and that you belong to Christ's one true church, coupled with this near-paranoia that you are always being watched, judged, and evaluated by HF is what produces the judgmentalism that is unique to Mormonism, in my opinion.

If you want evidence, check out Wade's above post, where he is basically positing that being judgmental is the fault of everyone and everything *except* the Church. A more honest and legitimate answer would calculate Church teachings into the equation as well. But, due to his TBM arrogance, Wade will never be able to do this.