Ambushed

[_Who Knows]

I note that you again habitually deflected. But, I do appreciate the suggestion, and I will give it some more genuine and earnest thought. I certainly don't want to come across as condescending if at all possible--though I wonder if it is possible with some people.

However, I wonder if, to your way of thinking, your making the suggestion above was, itself, condescending--particularly given that it wasn't addressed in generic or benign "I" statements, but rather in accusatory "you" statements.

Would you prefer that I address the issues with you in that way?

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

I'm not here to tell you how to interact with me or anyone else. I was just pointing something out (something that myself and many others have noted in your posts).

Like I said, take it or leave it.

[_wenglund]

Back at an age when many of you were being missionaries, I was being an atheist. I would not have appreciated such a visit back then, but our preferences do change throughout our lives. I have since changed my mind. I can now see that religion is valuable to me on my terms and I now appreciate their visits.

Grayskull, the important thing to know is that they did not want to interrupt your limited family time, but did want to express their caring about you. To them you are one of the sheep that has wandered off and they went looking for you. It is merely a part of their shepherding duties and was not intended to be an annoyance. Perhaps you could take this knowledge that your were being thought of as a positive validation of your existence and feel good about it.

I applaud this way of thinking, and trust that it has served you well. I am grateful that you shared it with us, even at the risk of being thought to have been condescending for having done so. ;-)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_wenglund]

I note that you again habitually deflected. But, I do appreciate the suggestion, and I will give it some more genuine and earnest thought. I certainly don't want to come across as condescending if at all possible--though I wonder if it is possible with some people.

However, I wonder if, to your way of thinking, your making the suggestion above was, itself, condescending--particularly given that it wasn't addressed in generic or benign "I" statements, but rather in accusatory "you" statements.

Would you prefer that I address the issues with you in that way?

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

I'm not here to tell you how to interact with me or anyone else. I was just pointing something out (something that myself and many others have noted in your posts).

Like I said, take it or leave it.

Be that as it may or may not be, I am still wishing to understand your mindset. So, I ask again: "To your way of thinking, was your making the suggestion above, itself, condescending--particularly given that it wasn't addressed in generic or benign 'I' statements, but rather in accusatory 'you' statements?"

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Who Knows]

Sure, wade.

[_wenglund]

Sure, wade.

To your mind, would there have been a way to offer that observation/suggestion/criticism without being condescending? (If so, please provide and example)

Or, are observations/suggestions/criticism of any form (even if mentioned only in regards to oneself), per se, condescending?

And, if the latter, then wouldn't you deem most every post on this board as condescending? (if not, why not? And if so, why single me out?)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Who Knows]

Wade, I'm not playing your psychobabble game.

I, and others, have given you examples. Just thought i'd make you aware of it. But apparently, you're too defensive to see it.

Carry on...

[_Lucretia MacEvil]

Back at an age when many of you were being missionaries, I was being an atheist. I would not have appreciated such a visit back then, but our preferences do change throughout our lives. I have since changed my mind. I can now see that religion is valuable to me on my terms and I now appreciate their visits.

Grayskull, the important thing to know is that they did not want to interrupt your limited family time, but did want to express their caring about you. To them you are one of the sheep that has wandered off and they went looking for you. It is merely a part of their shepherding duties and was not intended to be an annoyance. Perhaps you could take this knowledge that your were being thought of as a positive validation of your existence and feel good about it.

I applaud this way of thinking, and trust that it has served you well. I am grateful that you shared it with us, even at the risk of being thought to have been condescending for having done so. ;-)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Moksha is never condescending. He is being just a tad pollyanna in this post though!

in my opinion, the purpose of the missionaries' visit fell somewhere between wanting to interrupt the OP's family time and any sort of actually caring for him. They were making a project of him, and rather transparently. That doesn't really make anyone happy and tends to be annoying, unless the "project" happens to have very poor self-esteem.

[_Who Knows]

It stems from the fact that as members - and more specifically as missionaries - the LDS church teaches that if you don't do EVERYTHING you can to convert people (or bring them back to the fold) then you'll be held accountable in the next life. That was actually one of my mission president's favorite things to say. Fear can be a motivator sometimes.

To hell with the fact that someone says they're on the DNC list. To hell with the fact that the person is busy, or is eating dinner. We're talking about saving lives here! Especially my own! Don't you realize guys? Those missionaries need to go home with a clear conscience.

[_Some Schmo]

I love how, from the Mormon point of view, it's just "showing they care." From the exmormon point of view, it's "an annoying intrusion."

I have to say that it seems pretty obvious that if the Mormons really did care, it wouldn't feel like such an intrusion.

I've been through the repetitive visits myself, and it's true: the Mormons make it so that eventually, you have to get rude to get your point across. I was nice at first, but that eroded over time. I think it has something to do with the righteousness of the victim status. God loves a martyr, don't you know.

[_The Nehor]

I have to say that it seems pretty obvious that if the Mormons really did care, it wouldn't feel like such an intrusion.

I have to disagree there. I had a companion who was the most compassionate guy I've ever known. He was also what we called in England, "a bloody idiot" and annoyed many, many people.

One of my grandmothers can be the same way. I know she cares but sometimes it does seem like she is intruding.