My RfM Post "Waiting for William" and Mormon Reply

[_KimberlyAnn]

My gosh, the pain these guys inflict and no one, no one, not one member holds them responsible. . . And when we question their authority, we are the ones who are criticised, for being so stupid as to follow their counsel.

That last sentence is one of the most amazing tenets of Internet Mormonism of all. I never cease being flabbergasted whenever one of them trots it out again. It's indescribable.

It really is a no-win situation. You're damned if you don't take your leader's advice until something doesn't work out as planned, then you're damned because you actually were stupid enough to listen to them!

I was encouraged to have my fourth baby by the Bishop, my Mormon friends and my husband. After the trauma of that last pregnancy and childbirth, I was actually chastised by my Bishop for allowing the doctor to perform a hysterectomy without consulting him first! I guess he thought I was selfish and didn't want any more children, but he should have known differently. He knew how badly I wanted that baby boy.

I can't believe it took me a year after that to figure out the church was a fraud! Guess I'm slow.

KA

[_Blixa]

I'm still kind of reeling over what you went through. I read your post hours ago and its still hanging over me. I had no idea you'd been through such a tough time physically, let alone religiously. Good god, you've been through a lot. That you've come out of these experiences with the kind of courage, generosity, intellectual curiousity and charm that you possess is astonishing.

Your girls are very lucky.

[_Inconceivable]

KimberlyAnne,

Unfortunately, your story is not particularly unique. I hope you have somehow gotten past all that vexes you.

For several years my wife and I continued to hope for the children "promised" inspite of the enormous health risks. After 2 miscariages, we made the decision to surgically make it impossible for us to have additional children. There is even more to it than this including a trial adoption.

My wife still believes that our additional "daughter" (in our case) will be the one that marry one of our sons.

It troubles me that God would permit us to misinterpret his revelations (or those that profess to be his representatives) for much of our short lives. I am wearied of it.

When my children ask for fish, I won't give them serpent and lead them on to believe it's fish. If I did this, I would lose the respect of my children - and I'd deserve it.

My brother has what he considers to be a healthy outlook on the downside of mortality - "that's life".

[_Some Schmo]

I was touched by your story.

It's amazing to me that Mormons don't see how their religion causes harm.

[_Seven]

That last sentence is one of the most amazing tenets of Internet Mormonism of all. I never cease being flabbergasted whenever one of them trots it out again. It's indescribable.

The most heartbreaking thing my father ever said to me: "Your problem is that you took the church seriously."

My FIL said almost the exact same thing when I confronted him on his disbelief or disconnect of all the former teachings of Prophets that were once doctrine.

[_Seven]

Thank you KimberlyAnn for sharing a very touching and personal story. I am sorry for the loss and pain you went through. :(

[_The Nehor]

I'm sorry for your loss. Your Bishop was (to be kind) an idiot. I suspect he thought he was doing you a kindness and helping you through the grieving process by telling you you would have your son. Like I said, an idiot. I've witnessed too many blessings where I believe the brother acting as voice was trying to manipulate the Blessing to a certain end. It's a disgusting abuse of the Priesthood.

I also get annoyed at how often supposed sin is tied to tragedy as some of those posters did. If goodness was rewarded as they seem to believe I can't see the perfect man being betrayed and murdered. D&C 38:26-27 should have killed that thought long ago but it's almost never read or quoted in Church Meetings unfortunately.

In any case, I hope things are going well for you.

[_Infymus]

KimberlyAnn, you're one of my absolute favorites. Thank you for sharing this heart-breaking story. Many hugs.

[_Dr. Shades]

After the trauma of that last pregnancy and childbirth, I was actually chastised by my Bishop for allowing the doctor to perform a hysterectomy without consulting him first!

Wait a second. . . How on earth did your bishop find out you'd had a hysterectomy?

That's pretty scary. He knows your medical records; does he how your bank account number as well?

[_KimberlyAnn]

After the trauma of that last pregnancy and childbirth, I was actually chastised by my Bishop for allowing the doctor to perform a hysterectomy without consulting him first!

Wait a second. . . How on earth did your bishop find out you'd had a hysterectomy?

That's pretty scary. He knows your medical records; does he how your bank account number as well?

Sorry, I guess I wasn't very clear. I told the bishop myself afterward. That's when he told me I should have consulted him first.

Also, I wasn't as clear as I could have been in my original RfM post. I was emotional last night as I wrote my post and I was careless with a part of my story. I had a hysterectomy about ten days after I had Annie, and in my post, I said it was immediate. It felt quick to me because I was still in the hospital in and out of consciousness. Annie was in the Intensive Care Unit. But it was a long enough span of time between delivery and the hysterectomy that Tom (DH) worried they weren't going to take it and I'd get pregnant again and die. So, he called a urologist we know and got a vasectomy while I was still in the hospital, despite my weak, drugged objections. He says I made him promise to get it reversed if I were miraculously healed and he said he would, knowing all the while he wouldn't. I don't recall that conversation. I don't recall lots of goofy stuff he claims I said...like that I'd give him a back massage every day until I die. I'm really not so sure about that one. ;)

At any rate, he had a vasectomy and within days I had a hysterectomy, so he got snipped for nothing. Now we just laugh when people ask us if we're having any more kids. We can answer with surety that we are not!

That's probably part of what upset the bishop. My husband and I had both made permanent decisions on birth control and I guess it irritated the bishop that we didn't ask permission first. The bishop said specifically that my husband should have spoken with him first and that it was frowned upon by the Lord for him to have a vasectomy. I'd never heard that before.

KA