Funny verses in the Book of Mormon

[Anonymous]

Wow, I totally did not read your sig line correctly, SWSU! I read half way and then the auto-fill part of my brain assumed it would finish "Jesus Christ."

What a great sound byte.

[_silentkid]

And now, for something EXTREMELY bizarre: The "tight like unto a dish" guy

Thanks for posting that, Shades...made my day.

[_Some Schmo]

Seems to me Joe Smith liked his dishes tight. No wonder he married them so young.

[_Lucretia MacEvil]

Here's another one of my favorites.

4 Nephi 1:6

And thus did the thirty and eighth year pass away, and also the thirty and ninth, and forty and first, and the forty and second, yea, even until forty and nine years had passed away, and also the fifty and first, and the fifty and second; yea, and even until fifty and nine years had passed away.

I'm trying to picture a guy engraving all this on a gold plate when he could just as easily abridge it to say "And thus did fifty and nine years pass away." Mormon was supposedly an abridger, right?

Besides which he mentions more than once the lack of space on the plates, etc., apologizing for not including more information.

It's like the bazillion other issues with the Book of Mormon, none of which are quite strong enough to prove the book wrong by itself, but taken all together it's too much for anyone but a True Believer to take seriously.

[_Lucretia MacEvil]

Seems to me Joe Smith liked his dishes tight. No wonder he married them so young.

No, no, no. He was obviously talking about Tupperware. The seal is guaranteed on the round pieces. It really promotes my faith that he knew about Tupperware back in his day.

[_Blixa]

Although now I've got a hideous mental image of "burping the seal" in my mind, Lucretia. Thanks...

[_Lucretia MacEvil]

Although now I've got a hideous mental image of "burping the seal" in my mind, Lucretia. Thanks...

Giggle. But it wouldnl't have been the grossest thing about being in those ships. Somehow, I doubt they had "sealed in freshness."

[_Dr. Shades]

Seems to me Joe Smith liked his dishes tight. No wonder he married them so young.

Seems like you're confusing "bitches" with "dishes." :-)

[_Gazelam]

Alma 10:5 Nevertheless, after all this, I never have known much of the ways of the Lord, and his mysteries and marvelous power. I said I never had known much of these things; but behold, I mistake, for I have seen much of his mysteries and his marvelous power; yea, even in the preservation of the lives of this people.

This is actually a very sound doctrinal teaching. The next verse reads:

6 Nevertheless, I did harden my heart, for I was called many times and I would not hear; therefore I knew concerning these things, yet I would not know; therefore I went on rebelling against God, in the wickedness of my heart, even until the fourth day of this seventh month, which is in the tenth year of the reign of the judges.

How many people grow up hearing the gospel, and have it all around them but take it for granted? It isn't until you have a spiritual experience that confirms all the teaching you've heard that the gospel begins to have any meaning for you in a real sence. That is what Alma is talking about here, and I have heard other gospel teachers say things very similar to this.

"Until he prayed and received an answer, he didn't know what he knew."

Gaz

[_Blixa]

I think, Gaz, that my heart must be pretty hard, then, yea like unto adamantine, yea even unto aggregated diamond nanorods.