Truth be told...

[_Selah]

How many of you would go back to being a chapel Mormon any day? And why?

[_Bond...James Bond]

I never was one....but I do think ignorance is bliss in some ways.

[_twinkie]

I was a chapel Mormon for, oh, maybe for a minute or two. Then I Started Noticing Things.

[_Jason Bourne]

How many of you would go back to being a chapel Mormon any day? And why?

In many ways yes, I wish I could be back where I was five years ago...

[_Polygamy Porter]

I never was a chapel Mormon.

I always questioned. I then questioned why my questions could not be answered.

Then the great infobahn revealed all answers to my life long questions.

I was a Mormon out of duty to family.

Now, out of duty to my own family, I am out and brought them with me.

It sounds like you are a fresh exmo.

[_Blixa]

Never was. For the most part never believed. Would not want to believe.

[_The Nehor]

I think I still am one.

[_Dr. Shades]

I wouldn't do it. It's too expensive and time-consuming.

[_Seven]

I wish I could go back, but I don't believe I was spiritually healthy as a Chapel Mormon. I didn't know my relationship with Jesus was so connected to Joseph Smith until I learned his history and felt my entire belief in Christ in serious trouble. I had the kind of belief system that if the Mormon church wasn't true, then nothing was. What's sad about that is I never had a perfect knowledge that the church was true, but my entire belief in God was connected to the truth of Mormonism. in my opinion that is why so many former LDS become atheists.

I always questioned, even as a child, and tried so hard to believe with all the conviction as the TBMs around me claimed to. I must say that although I loved the basic Christian principles taught in Mormonism and still do, I never really fit in with the ultra TBM testimonies I would hear each month praising Joseph Smith etc. I wanted to focus on Jesus Christ and often felt like he was a sidenote to the constant focus on the "church is true."

Ignorance was bliss in so many ways though. The reasons I would wish to be a Chapel Mormon again are because of the bigotry I have endured for leaving the church from TBMs that mock my pain, judge me, and feel I have commited spiritual infedility against my DH. I would never wish the pain I have been through upon anybody. Also, it was wonderful to have that life plan for my kids to go on missions, get married in the temple, and basically raise children to be good little Mormons. My life had such a detailed plan and hope for the after life of "forever famliy." When I learned that eternal marriage was actually plural marriage, it was one of the most painful and destructive teachings to my testimony. If I had never learned the truth, I would have gone through life in marital bliss, with a hope for a monogamous eternal marriage.

I am embarrassed to admit that I have contemplated trying to brainwash myself into becoming TBM so that I can avoid the challenges with family from my inactivity. I have a baptism coming up, baby blessing, and many friends and family that don't know of my situation. It would be so much easier for my life to go back in time and push those questions back under the rug if I could have known what I do now.

[_harmony]

All knowledge is power, Packer notwithstanding. Growth is painful, yet in the end, beneficial.

No, I would not go back for anything. My relationship with God is much stronger than it was then. I am a much stronger person than I was then. My relationship with my family, with my Sweet Pickle, with the people who are really my friends is much better now.

I didn't fit in, in my ward, back then. The stake didn't even know I existed. It used to bother me, that I was not invited to parties given by people I thought were my friends, that their children went out of their way to not be friends with my children, that my children were left out of leadership and fun activities, that I was left out of leadership callings. I was trying so hard to be the perfect member, and it wasn't getting me anywhere. It was hard, always being on the outside looking in on the feast and not understanding why I was left out, why I was unacceptable.

Now, I realize that their world is too small for me; I cannot live there. I look at those people who once ostracized me and mine, and see them trying to be my friend, seeking me out for guidance and compantionship. But I realize that I don't know them, and for the most part, don't mind that I don't know them. I am well loved as I am, by the people who matter to me. That is all I need.