Truth be told...

[_Jason Bourne]

I never was a chapel Mormon.

I always questioned. I then questioned why my questions could not be answered.

Then the great infobahn revealed all answers to my life long questions.

I was a Mormon out of duty to family.

Now, out of duty to my own family, I am out and brought them with me.

It sounds like you are a fresh exmo.

This is telling based on the way you are now.

[_Selah]

I wish I could go back, but I don't believe I was spiritually healthy as a Chapel Mormon. I didn't know my relationship with Jesus was so connected to Joseph Smith until I learned his history and felt my entire belief in Christ in serious trouble. I had the kind of belief system that if the Mormon church wasn't true, then nothing was. What's sad about that is I never had a perfect knowledge that the church was true, but my entire belief in God was connected to the truth of Mormonism. in my opinion that is why so many former LDS become atheists.

I always questioned, even as a child, and tried so hard to believe with all the conviction as the TBMs around me claimed to. I must say that although I loved the basic Christian principles taught in Mormonism and still do, I never really fit in with the ultra TBM testimonies I would hear each month praising Joseph Smith etc. I wanted to focus on Jesus Christ and often felt like he was a sidenote to the constant focus on the "church is true."

Ignorance was bliss in so many ways though. The reasons I would wish to be a Chapel Mormon again are because of the bigotry I have endured for leaving the church from TBMs that mock my pain, judge me, and feel I have commited spiritual infedility against my DH. I would never wish the pain I have been through upon anybody. Also, it was wonderful to have that life plan for my kids to go on missions, get married in the temple, and basically raise children to be good little Mormons. My life had such a detailed plan and hope for the after life of "forever famliy." When I learned that eternal marriage was actually plural marriage, it was one of the most painful and destructive teachings to my testimony. If I had never learned the truth, I would have gone through life in marital bliss, with a hope for a monogamous eternal marriage.

I am embarrassed to admit that I have contemplated trying to brainwash myself into becoming TBM so that I can avoid the challenges with family from my inactivity. I have a baptism coming up, baby blessing, and many friends and family that don't know of my situation. It would be so much easier for my life to go back in time and push those questions back under the rug if I could have known what I do now.

Thanks for sharing that. I can emphasize with you a lot - because part of me wants to undo what has been done and retreat into ignorance. :)

[_Livingstone22]

I'm sorry, but what's a chapel Mormon? I guess I'm not one if I don't know what it is.

[_silentkid]

I could never go back to being a true-believing chapel Mormon. I've always had an inquisitive mind. Once I began questioning the foundation of the LDS faith, I actually felt liberated in the answers I was discovering. I've described my deconversion as a paradigm shift. I prefer naturalistic explanations to spiritual ones. I would feel worse living in intellectual denial than I would by living in ignorant bliss.

[_Coggins7]

I'm sorry, but what's a chapel Mormon? I guess I'm not one if I don't know what it is.

The Internet/Chapel Mormon dichotomy is a neat little self serving tidbit of intellectual snobbery that alleges a fundamental difference between the Chapel Mormon (faithful, active LDS with a testimony of the Gospel who respects and follows the counsel of the Brethren (or TBM's)), and Internet Mormons, who are soooooo much more intellectual, educated, sophisticated, trendy, cool, hip, and generally, groovy, than the philistine, bumpkin-like, simpletons who form the core, active backbone of the Church.

These two fictitious groups can generally be categorized as follows:

Chapel Mormons, or TBM,s, support and accept the entire Gospel and teachings of the Church and claim to have a testimony by revelation that the Church, as a whole, is true and that the Brethren are the anointed servants of the Lord in our day and should be taken seriously.

The Internet Mormon group includes cafateria Mormons who are in some mode of transition either out of the Church or in a limbo between full acceptance and apostasy from various elements of Church doctrine or practice, and full fledged ex-Mormons who are viscerally hostile to the Church.

Otherwise, the entire thing is nothing but a smarmy fiction intended to poison the well against serious, active LDS who defend the Church.

[_Coggins7]

I should say, regarding the above, that the groups mentioned are not fictitious, only the artificial compartments of Internet and Chapel.

[_moksha]

These two fictitious groups can generally be categorized as follows:

Chapel Mormons, or TBMs, support and accept the entire Gospel and teachings of the Church and claim to have a testimony by revelation that the Church, as a whole, is true and that the Brethren are the anointed servants of the Lord in our day and should be taken seriously.

The Internet Mormon group includes cafateria Mormons who are in some mode of transition either out of the Church or in a limbo between full acceptance and apostasy from various elements of Church doctrine or practice, and full fledged ex-Mormons who are viscerally hostile to the Church.

At least this description sounds fictitious, especially your description of a cafeteria Mormon. Also, most ex-mormons are not viscerally hostile to the Church. That said, one observation I feel comfortable in making is that those Mormons on the internet seem aware of more issues than those at Church. I use the word "seem" because I really have no way of knowing for certain. We never talk about issues outside the lesson plan in Church.

[_Polygamy Porter]

Otherwise, the entire thing is nothing but a smarmy fiction intended to poison the well against serious, active LDS who defend the Church.

What about inactive members with a word of wisdom problem? Can they be considered active LDS who defend?

[_Coggins7]

At least this description sounds fictitious, especially your description of a cafeteria Mormon. Also, most ex-mormons are not viscerally hostile to the Church. That said, one observation I feel comfortable in making is that those Mormons on the internet seem aware of more issues than those at Church. I use the word "seem" because I really have no way of knowing for certain. We never talk about issues outside the lesson plan in Church.

I only placed cafeteria Mormons between TBM's and the implacable hostile exmos who inhabit broads and other forums such as this. They and I know very well who they are. These are people who pick and choose, according to predilection and personal preference, what aspects of the Gospel they are going to accept and live, and what counsels of the Brethren they are going to accept and which they are not. By definition, this attitude puts them either in a limbo in which they are "lukewarm" regarding their commitment to the Church, or on their way out. Those who are sitting on the fence, or in the cafeteria, browsing the macaroni and cheese, the garlic mashed potatoes, the hush puppies, and the three cheese Lasagna may move in either direction, but some are going to make a final break, sooner or later, when the winds blow and the rains beat upon their house. I'm not saying I do everything the Brethren ask me to do; I'm just saying that I accept their counsels and take responsibility for following or not following it.

Further, I have made clear in many posts that most ex-Mormons are probably not hostile to the church. It is the ex-Mormons who feel the need to create, participate in, and maintain internet chat rooms, discussion boards, and literary endeavors intended to impugn, malign, mock, and vilify the teachings of the Church, its leaders, and its people, who are my only concern relative to the oversimplified spectrum I delineated.

Most exmos who exist, will never post in a forum such as this.

[_Polygamy Porter]

At least this description sounds fictitious, especially your description of a cafeteria Mormon. Also, most ex-mormons are not viscerally hostile to the Church. That said, one observation I feel comfortable in making is that those Mormons on the internet seem aware of more issues than those at Church. I use the word "seem" because I really have no way of knowing for certain. We never talk about issues outside the lesson plan in Church.

I only placed cafeteria Mormons between TBM's and the implacable hostile exmos who inhabit broads and other forums such as this. They and I know very well who they are. These are people who pick and choose, according to predilection and personal preference, what aspects of the Gospel they are going to accept and live, and what counsels of the Brethren they are going to accept and which they are not. By definition, this attitude puts them either in a limbo in which they are "lukewarm" regarding their commitment to the Church, or on their way out. Those who are sitting on the fence, or in the cafeteria, browsing the macaroni and cheese, the garlic mashed potatoes, the hush puppies, and the three cheese Lasagna may move in either direction, but some are going to make a final break, sooner or later, when the winds blow and the rains beat upon their house. I'm not saying I do everything the Brethren ask me to do; I'm just saying that I accept their counsels and take responsibility for following or not following it.

Further, I have made clear in many posts that most ex-Mormons are probably not hostile to the church. It is the ex-Mormons who feel the need to create, participate in, and maintain internet chat rooms, discussion boards, and literary endeavors intended to impugn, malign, mock, and vilify the teachings of the Church, its leaders, and its people, who are my only concern relative to the oversimplified spectrum I delineated.

Most exmos who exist, will never post in a forum such as this.

The same can be said of 99.99% of active Mormons.