Hope nobody is offended.
FARMS Defends Hot Dog Sauce "Theft"
Dismayed by reports that BYU had stolen the recipe to a popular hot dog sauce sold off-campus, FARMS scholars held a press conference to defend the integrity of the institution.
"Any idea that something dishonest or unseemly took place is totally ridiculous," said an indignant Daniel Midgley-Welch. "The provenance of the recipe is well-known in scholarly circles."
Midgley-Welch explained that the recipe had been kept in BYU archives for many years before being unearthed recently. He displayed a fragment of what he claimed was the original recipe revealed in late 1843 by Joseph Smith, who was dining with the Partridge sisters in an isolated location outside of Nauvoo.
Upon closer inspection, reporters asked Midgley-Welch why the recipe looked like a well-worn UTA bus schedule.
"That's preposterous," chuckled the professor. "The problem is that we don't have all of the original recipe; everything but these fragments was destroyed in the Great Spanish Fork Fire of 1909."
"But it's a bus schedule," said a bewildered reporter.
"That shows how much you know," snapped Midgley-Welch. "The original was written in Reconstituted Libyan, and unless you know how to translate Reconstituted Libyan, I won't waste my time trying to explain it you."
"Doesn't that fragment say 'South Towne Mall 3:15'?" asked another reporter.
"Look, we know that the original manuscript was at least three times as long as this fragment. The recipe must have been on the missing part of the bus schedule--I mean, manuscript."
"But the recipe is scribbled in the margins and dated last week," suggested a reporter from the Lake Shore Ledger.
"No, that was a later emendation totally unrelated to the manuscript."
"Dude, are you kidding?" said the reporter.
"That's enough!" snapped Midgley-Welch. "I'm going to draw up some Reconstituted Libyan characters, and until you can email me the proper translation, I'm not going even going to talk to you again. Are there any hot dogs left?"
A little humor
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In my half-asleep, half-intoxicated state, I started to read this not recognizing that it was a joke.
Your first line about the recipe for hot dog sauce sold off campus, threw me for a loop, because there is one of the best dog shacks (with the best damn 'kraut I've found in Utah) just off campus.
Shout out to J-Dawgs.
Your first line about the recipe for hot dog sauce sold off campus, threw me for a loop, because there is one of the best dog shacks (with the best damn 'kraut I've found in Utah) just off campus.
Shout out to J-Dawgs.
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Bryan Inks wrote:In my half-asleep, half-intoxicated state, I started to read this not recognizing that it was a joke.
Your first line about the recipe for hot dog sauce sold off campus, threw me for a loop, because there is one of the best dog shacks (with the best damn 'kraut I've found in Utah) just off campus.
Shout out to J-Dawgs.
Well, that was part of the joke. Apparently, J-Dawgs' sauce recipe has allegedly been stolen by BYU.
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Brilliant stuff, Runtu! It pretty much covers every mopologetic we've been hearing over the past couple of weeks.
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"
--Louis Midgley
--Louis Midgley
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Dr. Shades wrote:Brilliant stuff, Runtu! It pretty much covers every mopologetic we've been hearing over the past couple of weeks.
It wasn't aimed at anyone in particular ("Daniel Midgley-Welch" is an all-purpose name I made up a long time ago as a generic apologist), but I suppose it gets at how I feel about some apologetic arguments.
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Runtu wrote:Bryan Inks wrote:In my half-asleep, half-intoxicated state, I started to read this not recognizing that it was a joke.
Your first line about the recipe for hot dog sauce sold off campus, threw me for a loop, because there is one of the best dog shacks (with the best damn 'kraut I've found in Utah) just off campus.
Shout out to J-Dawgs.
Well, that was part of the joke. Apparently, J-Dawgs' sauce recipe has allegedly been stolen by BYU.
What? Stolen? Stolen?
If true and it turns up in a competing dog-shack. . . I might end up with arson charges (again).
:P
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