Selah wrote:Thanks everyone for replying. You have no idea how helpful you're being - well except Bond, James Bond -
Ouch baby....
but I continue to love him anyway. ;)
Thank goodness :O)
Obviously you're the one going though this crap (and I'm not) so listen to what sounds good and ignore the knucklehead named Bond. ;)
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07
Selah wrote:I think this is where I am right now. It's good to know I'm not alone. :)
I know how you feel. It's a terrible loss in so many ways, and yet you feel like you did something wrong. You second-guess and wonder if your family is right and you're off your rocker.
I'm headed to Utah this weekend, and I'll be staying with my sister. We've always been close, as we're the only two in my family who stuck with the church. She was understandably devastated when she found out I no longer believed. We talk almost every week, and we just don't say much about church anymore. I suspect it's going to come up this weekend, as her husband and in-laws are fairly prominent in church circles. So I'm kind of bracing myself.
It really does suck, doesn't it? Hang in there. We'll get through it eventually.
Actually, the LDS church inadvertently taught me to have firmer boundaries. I ended up in therapy due to the fact that I didn't have boundaries, and would do whatever they wanted me to do. I had three babies under four, and they wanted me to continue being a VT (over long distances, I live in the "mission field"), as well as teach seminary (often with the baby on my hip). I was on the verge of a breakdown. I went into therapy, and she told me I'd darn better well grow a backbone and learn to say "NO" to people or else I WOULD breakdown.
So I did. And still do. And am much better off for it. :)
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.
beastie wrote:Actually, the LDS church inadvertently taught me to have firmer boundaries. I ended up in therapy due to the fact that I didn't have boundaries, and would do whatever they wanted me to do. I had three babies under four, and they wanted me to continue being a VT (over long distances, I live in the "mission field"), as well as teach seminary (often with the baby on my hip). I was on the verge of a breakdown. I went into therapy, and she told me I'd darn better well grow a backbone and learn to say "NO" to people or else I WOULD breakdown.
So I did. And still do. And am much better off for it. :)
Heh. My therapist said the same thing. Why was it so difficult for us to say no as members?
beastie wrote:...learn to say "NO" to people or else I WOULD breakdown.
So I did. And still do. And am much better off for it. :)
Good for beastie, bad for the men who ask beastie out on dates (like Bond and the like)-----J/K ;)
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07
Good for beastie, bad for the men who ask beastie out on dates (like Bond and the like)-----J/K ;)
Boy, you have a long memory! You're never gonna forget the belly dancing pix, are you? It may help you to erase it from your memory banks to know I turned 50 this week. :O
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.
So was I. I started a thread about that not long ago, and people ridiculed me because I was taught not to say no.
You know, this is one of those things that bugs the fire out of me regarding this whole internet Mormon/exmormon thing. I'm sorry, I just don't recognize the church these people attend. You know, the one with no formal doctrine, the one that doesn't demand certain beliefs of its members, the one that was FINE with people studying controversial topics, the one where only lazy idiots don't know Joseph Smith married other men's wives, the one that DIDN'T teach people not to say no to callings....
We hate to seem like we don’t trust every nut with a story, but there’s evidence we can point to, and dance while shouting taunting phrases.