I Took the D&C Challenge--How'd I Do?

[_Doctor Steuss]

[...]
Sorry that quote was a little long. This is from the The Book of Immanuel David Isaiah
by Immanuel David Isaiah (better known as Brian David Mitchell)

I remember when the SL Tribune first made this available online, I read it and thought how much it sounded like Joseph Smith in the D&C. He goes on and on like this. You can read it here: http://www.totse.com/en/religion/miscel ... 79010.html

Here's a little tidbit from The Book of Lehi, "translated" by Christopher Marc Nemelka.

1 I, Mormon, according to the commandment of the Lord, have made these plates of ore according to the knowledge and understanding that the Lord hath given unto me. And I write the things that I have been instructed to write, having received this instruction from the Holy Spirit.

2 For behold, the plates of Nephi are numerous and contain the entire history of Lehi and his life and mission. They also contain the writings of Nephi and other prophets of God who were given a strict commandment by the Lord that they should record their history and
the history of their children. And this he hath commanded them to do so that the Lord might show unto future generations the many great and marvelous things that he hath done for the children of Lehi according to their faith and obedience towards him.

3 And because the plates of Nephi are many, I, Mormon, have been instructed of the Lord to include only those things which will be beneficial unto future generations; yea, even unto those who shall receive these plates. And whosoever shall receive these plates shall be given the commandments of God pertaining unto them.

4 For behold, it is wisdom in the Lord that the world should not have these plates, so that the faith of all men can be tried and tested to see if they are willing to do all things in faith whatsoever the Lord shall command them. And if they keep the commandments of God as they shall be given unto them, even according to the commandments written upon these

It can be read entirely at: http://www.thesealedportion.com/ (And of course, credit must go to The Dude, as he is the one that first brought this to my attention)

[Guest]

But, as I indicated previously, it was spontaneous, with no pre-planning, and I tried to avoid being too serious in the content.

Behold, Don, in this do ye err. For ye thought that the gift of imitation might be granted unto thee when ye took no thought save it was to type on thy keyboard. But behold, ye must study it out in your mind; then you must needs ask Ray if it be right. And when he says "no" (because this is Ray we're talking about, after all), I shall cause a burning in thy bosom; and thou shalt rise up in holy anger, and thou shalt be wroth unto him, and thou shalt strike him down with thy affable demeanor. And behold, it shall be unto him as coals heaped upon his head, for I have hardened his heart and blinded his eyes against thy affability. Thy words shall fall on deaf ears, my son, but thou shalt speak them nevertheless and with boldness, for the truth must needs go forth to the House of Israel and to all the earth: that indeed no church is more true than any other, and that I reject no man save he take many wives unto himself. For this thing is an abomination in mine eyes, sayeth the Lord, and he who taketh many wives as indeed did David and Solomon before him, this thing shall not be forgiven him. And Joseph Smith with his lying whoredoms shall be burned with everlasting burnings in the dungeons of Kolob, along of course with those who fain wert born of the lineage of Ham the Negro.

[_DonBradley]

Not seeing it sorry, the sheep hear my voice bit was very disjointed and it doesn't flow to me the way the D&C does.

Hi Nehor,

Yes. I thought that was where I had the greatest need for improvement. It was quite disjointed. Thanks for your feedback.

Don

[_CaliforniaKid]

Here's my favorite D&C verse. How can anyone doubt that the LORD was speaking through Joseph Smith? After telling Emma she had to accept all of Joseph Smith' plural wives, the LORD then told her:

132:54
And I command mine handmaid, Emma Smith, to abide and cleave unto my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if she will abide this commandment she shall be DESTROYED, saith the Lord: for I am the Lord thy Go , and will DESTROY HER IF SHE ABIDE NOT IN MY LAW.

Yes, indeed, one would have to be hardened of heart not to hear God's voice in that.

Hey, that's my favorite verse, too! Nothing says "prophet" like the threat of damnation if you don't accept your husband's secret wifery.

[_CaliforniaKid]

Don,

Since we posted at the same time, allow me to point you to the bottom of the previous page. ;-)

[_DonBradley]

Chris,

ROFLMAO!

The style was good and I loved the plays on biblical and LDS scripture.

Perhaps you and Stu should form a church together. I'll leave you to argue who plays Smith and who plays Rigdon--and which is higher.

Don

[_CaliforniaKid]

Well since my name is Smith I think I'm the obvious choice for prophet. Fortunately for Steuss I'll be needing a spokesman.

[_DonBradley]

How about a purloined manuscript--will you be needing one of those as well? <nods to Uncle Dale>

Don

[_Inconceivable]

1. To my servant Joseph Smith, thou shalt gird thy loins with the skin of the sheep lest ye be revealed. Remember, remember that to deny thy dark works is to glorify me.
2. And if thou shalt endure, ye shall be crowned with glory but not like unto me, for it is mine.

oop. That seemed to creep up through the floorboards.

[_The Nehor]

This does bring up the whole King James english issue. It makes no sense for the Book of Mormon to be in King James english, and it sure as heck doesn't make any sense for Joseph Smith to be recieving revelations in the 1830s transmitted to him in King James english. In fact, it seems all communications to god within Mormonism are in KJE, people even say their prayers using KJE. Did King James somehow crack the language of God?

It makes sense to communicate religious texts to people in the accepted religious language of the day. I think it would be more and not less accepted if the were in colloquial English. "My name is Nephi and I was born to good parents. God has tried me in many ways and I have suffered much i n his service. Despite this, Jehovah has favored me and I know much of God's goodness and the secrets reserved for those who follow him. Because of this I make a record of my life. Father made sure I learned Jewish Religious history and philosophy and the language of the Egyptians and I have used the two to make this record. I tell you that this record is true and I made it myself limited by the knowledge I have. (1 Nephi 1:1-3)

I wrote this when I was doing an intensive study of the Book of Mormon and rewriting every verse in colloquial English as an aid to understanding what it was saying. I prefer to read the original over my rewrite.

In regards to Emma if it came from Joseph alone then it was presumptuous. If it came from God as rebukes go it was a fairly mild one. I think I've had worse. More akin to the Laman and Lemuel shock treatment than simple commands complete with visual and auditory aides to show the result of the wrong path.