If the Book of Mormon was written today....

[_SatanWasSetUp]

If Joseph Smith, or whoever, wrote the Book of Mormon today, what would be different? What new and creative anachronisms would it include?

Instead of steel swords, it would have lightsabers.
Instead of horses and chariots, it would have tanks.
Instead of Lamanites, it would have Orcs.
Instead of million-man armies, it would have billion-man armies.

Any other ideas?

THe big question is, would these anachronisms make it any less credible than the existing ones.

[_Blixa]

Its an interesting question, but I think the first thing would be to find an analogous popular speculative belief that his manuscript would support. So not the settling of the new world, but maybe UFO encounters?

[_Sethbag]

Instead of the Spaulding/Rigdon theory we'd be talking about the Erich von Daniken theory of the book's true authors. :-)

[_grayskull]

The biggest difference would be that DCP, Ham, and the rest would never have wasted more than 5 minutes with it.

[_Blixa]

The biggest difference would be that DCP, Ham, and the rest would never have wasted more than 5 minutes with it.

The son of Noah was an ur-Mopologist? This lineage raises new questions about the decendants of Canaan! Not only did Egyptus give birth to the dark-skinned races described in the Book of Abraham but among her progeny are also the pure and delightsome race of scholarly elucidators of that very tome!

[_Some Schmo]

If Joseph Smith, or whoever, wrote the Book of Mormon today, what would be different?

Well, first off, it would have to be interesting in order to sell.

I also think statements like "white and delightsome" would have to be replaced with "black is beautiful."

Wait a second... the Book of Mormon was rewritten in modern times. It's called Dianetics, by Ron Hubbard.

[_The Dude]

It would have to answer the big questions of our day, just like the Book of Mormon did for Joseph's day. This "modern" book would have to deliver verdicts on intelligent design, when the spirit enters the body (for the abortion question), are UFOs for real, and how homosexuals should be treated by the saints. It wouldn't hurt to make it clear once and for all that God prefers Macintosh (Mac sits on his right hand, PC on his left) and, because some saints are lukewarm in faith, God spues them from his mouth like Pepsi, the lesser cola drink.

[_Who Knows]

I have a hunch there'd be some sort of 'prophecy' regarding 9/11.

And it came to pass that I was swept up to heaven, where I beheld the followers of God in the latter days. And I saw a large metallic bird descending as it were from heaven. But verily, it was not from heaven, but from hell, for it bore the mark of satan. And this great evil was controlled by the powers of the evil one. And the evil one swept down at great speeds into the great and spacious buildings.

Now, these great and spacious buildings were occupied by many. And they were numbered in the thousands. And there were many followers of Christ.

And when the metallic bird swept into the building, behold, a great fireball erupted as if from the depths of hell. And lo, many were lost. And thus we learn, that satan has great power in the latter days. And behold, if thou does not hearken unto the word of the lord, thou shalt also be hewn down.

[_The Dude]

I have a hunch there'd be some sort of 'prophecy' regarding 9/11.

Of course there would be very specific post facto prophecy about 9/11, and specifics about war in Afghanistan and Iraq, but then it would suddently turn vague on the topic of Iran... will there be a war over their nukes or not? Hmmmm... the crystal ball is cloudy at the moment, er, I mean "there is much more that was revealed unto me, but I was commanded not to speak too much about the land of Persia."

Also, some poisoning the well, along the lines of "there will be many who think they are soooo learned, and do not hearken unto the councel of this book, but they are part of the plan of the cunning one, so do not be deceived by their forked tongues and four eyes."

[_beastie]

And don't forget it would give divine counsel regarding the use of the internet.

behold, thou shalt not click nekkid bodies and wound the tender hearts of thy wives

behold, thou shalt not click exmormon.org, for satan resideth there