Mormon Misogyny

[_KimberlyAnn]

I was just talking with my sister about the bias she experiences in her work place. Our discussion veered off into the varying ways Mormonism panders to male vanity and I wanted to introduce a post on that topic. I previously wrote the following and posted it on RfM and thought I'd post it again here. No need to reinvent the wheel. :) I want to emphasize that not all Mormon men view women as their inferiors, but the doctrine certainly gives them an excuse to do so, and some take advantage of that. I knew many good Mormon men, but I also knew many Mormon men who were, by all accounts, failures in the real world, but considered themselves something special due to their ward callings or (fake) priesthood. The following mini-essay describes them.


Mormonism breeds it's own unique brand of misogyny. In a religion where the most simple, uneducated and puerile man who holds the Priesthood wields God-given power over the most capable, educated, and brilliant woman, a near total disregard for the talents and power of females is to expected. It is no shock in the church of Joseph Smith to find that often the most loathsome man feels superior to the most remarkable woman. Why wouldn't he? He has been taught from his youth to view women as weak, incapable and beneath him in every way - as objects who exist to serve men - bearing their children, cooking their meals, cleaning their houses - and aren't really fit for anything else.

Mormonism teaches men that they are in every sense the saviors of women. Weak women need to be rescued by men. Women cannot even GET INTO HEAVEN without being called forth in the resurrection by their husbands, who alone know their new names, though the wives never know their husbands' new names. You see, God deals with the men. Men deal with the women. All of these things give Mormon men, even the puniest, weakest, and most pathetic among them, a power trip they'd never get from the real world, which recognizes many of them as the sorry excuses for men they really are.

Mormon produced misogyny is not only a disservice to women, but to men as well. Men as well as women are denied the pleasure of knowing how powerful, talented, and self-reliant women really operate. Men can rely on the fake authority of the Priesthood and dominating women to give them a sense of power, instead of becoming the truly self-confident men they would be by earning respect the hard way, treating women as equals, and making successes out of themselves in their professions.

In the real world, men work hard to earn respect. In Mormonism, even shiftless men who've never done a hard day's work in their lives get respect by virtue of their false Priesthood. Women, though they may work hard, are intelligent and educated and strong and more capable than any man, will never have the privileges granted to the shiftless, jobless, weak willed male Priesthood holder.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does indeed produce it's own vile breed of disdain for women. Every ex-Mormon, women especially, should take a stand against Mormon misogyny wherever it rears it's ugly head.

If you're staying in the church, knowing it's a lie, in order to change it from the inside or appease your family, please think carefully about the teachings to which you're exposing your sons and daughters. Your sons are learning that women are inferior and your daughters are being carefully trained to meet those expectations.

Kimberly Ann

[_Ray A]

No wonder you are a star poster on RFM. Even Benson would have difficulty adding up so many stereotypes.

[_The Nehor]

I disagree with your point on women needing men to be saved. Women are frequently assured that if they are faithful they'll be fine if they're not married. I am not.

I've seen male power trips due to twisting the Gospel but I've seen women do the same thing to their husbands in the Church. Most of them in the same relationship. I sum up my opinion on most of those relationships by saying, "They seem to deserve each other."

Loser guys in the Church tend to hook up with loser women or you can be scared by them going to a SA dance. Went once, was chased around half the night by a woman who had a daughter five years younger than me........I think I would have preferred the daughter.

Maybe I hang around the wrong LDS but I haven't see the problem. The husbands and wives I know well are generally both successful in whatever they choose to do and have happy well-adjusted children with strong-willed and happy sons and daughters who go find what they want and marry in equal relationships.

[_KimberlyAnn]

No wonder you are a star poster on RFM. Even Benson would have difficulty adding up so many stereotypes.

Of course not all Mormon men are raging misogynists. I know many good Mormon men. I thought I made that clear in my introductory paragraph. Mormonism, however, is a patriarchal, male dominated religion in which women have no real power.

And no, that's not why I'm a "star" poster on RfM. It's because, as you say, I'm a "dumb blonde". They like those over there.

KA

[_The Nehor]

And no, that's not why I'm a "star" poster on RfM. It's because, as you say, I'm a "dumb blonde". They like those over there.

KA

Wouldn't that make ex-Mormons more mysogynistic? ;)

[_KimberlyAnn]

And no, that's not why I'm a "star" poster on RfM. It's because, as you say, I'm a "dumb blonde". They like those over there.

KA

Wouldn't that make ex-Mormons more mysogynistic? ;)

That was a jab at Ray for calling me a dumb blonde. He's wrong. I'd classify myself as a brunette. ;)

And unfortunately, there are definitely misogynistic exmormons. Those men don't just change overnight once they decide to leave the church!

Also, Nehor, there are lots of bossy controlling Mormon women. It's my theory they're that way because they're grasping at any power they can wield, no matter how inconsequential, because they know that as Mormon women they're essentially powerless where it counts.

KA

[_Seven]

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does indeed produce it's own vile breed of disdain for women. Every ex-Mormon, women especially, should take a stand against Mormon misogyny wherever it rears it's ugly head.

If you're staying in the church, knowing it's a lie, in order to change it from the inside or appease your family, please think carefully about the teachings to which you're exposing your sons and daughters. Your sons are learning that women are inferior and your daughters are being carefully trained to meet those expectations.

Kimberly Ann[/I]

With all the attention on Islam right now, you would think more LDS women would be concerned about the harmful doctrines and teachings that remain in the church today. Polygamy remains in the D & C and is believed to be the law of marriage in heaven, temple covenants place women in submission to men (and the wording of these covenants used to be much more sexist before womens rights forced the church to change it), and the expected roles of women in Mormonism that place them more as servants to men in eternity and even here on earth.

If the Mormon church continued to grow in massive numbers and wealth in the world, imagine the harmful consequences this can have for women around the globe when Mormons are the governemnts of the world. If the LDS leaders do not renounce these core beliefs/doctrines you only need to look at 19th century Utah during the reformation period to see what could happen on a global level for women.

Instead of the world continuing to evolve in embracing equality for all races and women, the Mormon church would give men the authority to view and treat women the way Muslims do. It's tragic that there are women who not only accept it as their duty to God, but support it as well.

I guess in some ways it matters very little if the church renounces any of it. They can bring back whatever they want with "continuing revelation" and members will obediently raise their hands to sustain it.

[_The Nehor]

And unfortunately, there are definitely misogynistic exmormons. Those men don't just change overnight once they decide to leave the church!

Also, Nehor, there are lots of bossy controlling Mormon women. It's my theory they're that way because they're grasping at any power they can wield, no matter how inconsequential, because they know that as Mormon women they're essentially powerless where it counts.

KA

I'm inclined to think that there are a lot of just misogynistic people. Could you tell my last gf that she's powerless where it counts? I think she'd laugh in your face.

I'm one of those who thinks that women will one day get the Priesthood and I suspect that day is coming soon. There is nothing in Scripture preventing it. When I discuss it with most girls I know they just don't care to have it. It's not that they feel unworthy they just don't care if they get it or not and these girls have no delusions about male superiority. Many of them have dated me ;)

[_The Nehor]

With all the attention on Islam right now, you would think more LDS women would be concerned about the harmful doctrines and teachings that remain in the church today. Polygamy remains in the D & C and is believed to be the law of marriage in heaven, temple covenants place women in submission to men (and the wording of these covenants used to be much more sexist before womens rights forced the church to change it), and the expected roles of women in Mormonism that place them more as servants to men in eternity and even here on earth.

If the Mormon church continued to grow in massive numbers and wealth in the world, imagine the harmful consequences this can have for women around the globe when Mormons are the governemnts of the world. If the LDS leaders do not renounce these core beliefs/doctrines you only need to look at 19th century Utah during the reformation period to see what could happen on a global level for women.

Instead of the world continuing to evolve in embracing equality for all races and women, the Mormon church would give men the authority to view and treat women the way Muslims do. It's tragic that there are women who not only accept it as their duty to God, but support it as well.

I guess in some ways it matters very little if the church renounces any of it. They can bring back whatever they want with "continuing revelation" and members will obediently raise their hands to sustain it.

I've lived in the Church my whole life and haven't seen the harm this is inflicting. My poor submissive mother routinely grabs their boat and takes the women in the ward water-skiing with NO MEN. Dun DUN DUN!!!! Most of the mothers of my LDS friends growing up were genuine equals with their partners. Most of my friends who are now married are now genuine equals. The one exception amongst my friends: the wife bosses her husband around. Not sure how he puts up with it but he seems content and loves her so not my problem.

The doctrine of male superiority shows up in one subculture in the Mormon Church I call the "Jackasses" usually a subtype of Jack-Mormons. Most are minimally active and the male likes to strut his Priesthood failing to understand the whole D&C 121 and the whole amen to the Priesthood and Authority of that man passage. Lest anyone think this passage is forgotten I can state that it comes up regularly and often in the wards I've attended.

I have seen some complaints about misogyny in the Church. Generally they fall into two categories:

1. Married women who feel out of control in their lives. They tend to be failures who fail to get anything done in their lives and are married to failures. Both parties tend to whine a lot about how circumstances have ruined their lives. I tend to think they did it themselves.

2. Single women who will probably never get married. Generally they have no male friends and don't understand that the male mind is different in some ways than theirs. Typically have a grudge against men because they can never get more than one date with a guy. I've been that guy. I would never date them again either. They tend to be self-absorbed and not a lot of fun so I don't want to date them again. WARNING TO SINGLE WOMEN: If a conversation on a date lasts for more than an hour about your cat or cats and the cute things they do do not expect a second date.

[_Ray A]

Of course not all Mormon men are raging misogynists. I know many good Mormon men. I thought I made that clear in my introductory paragraph.

Something like "not all men in the Third Reich were racist". Here is your grand insight:

Mormonism, however, is a patriarchal, male dominated religion in which women have no real power.

And I would suggest that most active LDS women don't want any power, and are quite happy with their roles. Have you asked them what they think? Are they organising rallies? Do they feel oppressed? What do they think? If you are "liberated" then rejoice in your liberation, but don't suppose that "all Mormon women" want to be like you. I was married to one for 22 years, and I can assure you she never shared your sentiments, nor did she feel "oppressed". You're on a lonely soapbox here. Maybe some disenchanted females will listen, the ones who need "liberation" like you.

And no, that's not why I'm a "star" poster on RfM. It's because, as you say, I'm a "dumb blonde". They like those over there.

KA

I like dumb blondes too. Did you hear the one about the blonde who dyed her hair because she was tired of being called a "dumb blonde"? She bet a farmer she could tell him the exact number of sheep he had, on the condition that if she did she could have one of the sheep. The farmer agreed. She said "47"! The farmer, astonished that she got it right, agreed that she could have one. As she was driving away the farmer stopped her and asked: "If I can guess the real colour of your hair can I have my dog back?"