I am considering going back to church

[Anonymous]

Too afraid to stand up for what is right? Instead you will allow the same controlling to be passed on to your children and grand children. What kind of parent would foist anything on their child that they themselves did not agree with? Jack Mormon parents I suppose.

What is right for me may be different than what is right for you, PP. I respect your right to raise your family the way you feel is best. Please respect mine.

What is "right" to me is making sure that my kids have a good relationship with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Shoot me.

I'm not "foisting" anything on my child that I don't agree with. My children know exactly where I stand, and they can choose for themselves what they want to believe.

PP, you have a very different situation. Your wife eventually left the church with you, If I recall correctly. It's a big mess when one spouse remains TBM. I have wondered what would happen if my DH chose to leave the church and I know his family will blame me. I will be one of Satan's minions who led him astray. I don't see a good outcome either way with TBM family.

My kids will remain a part of the Mormon church whether I like it or not and even if my DH divorced me. I may as well make the best of it and try to find some peace in worshiping there.

My issues with church doctrine happen to be the very foundation of Mormon afterlife so I do understand if others here view me as weak for not standing by my principles and leaving it all behind. It's such a tough situation when those you love dearly don't care about polygamy, racism, misleading teachings in church, or Prophets speaking as men in the name of God.

I look at members like Brackite and wish that all Mormons could view polygamy as he does. I would feel like I fit in better.

Like Liz, when my children are old enough, they will know my feelings toward certain teachings and doctrines. They will not be raised little Joseph Smith worshipers like so many TBMs do. I want to raise them with high morals/values and a love for their fellow man, Christ, and themselves. I still believe the Mormon church can be the right vehicle for this if I teach them correct history at home.

My biggest concern is being looked at as the wolf in sheeps clothing or dishonest for not being a TBM and taking the sacrament. I am not sure if I will ever desrie doing temple work again. I love to visit the grounds and the inside is very peaceful but the rest of it I no longer feel connected to.

I also would like to attend other church's with my children now and then. This is something I have never done in my entire life and it would be good for me.

[_Seven]

Sorry I just signed up for the boards.

Didn't mean to go off topic or start an argument. I was attacked before I even set my feet down.

Forgive me Seven.

No problem. :) Welcome to the boards!

[_moksha]

There is no middle ground, just like your beloved prophet said.

This is not a matter of being a little bit pregnant, this is a quest to reconcile conflicting beliefs and desires. Liz was trying her best to be helpful to Seven, which makes her a helpful person.

[_Yoda]

There is no middle ground, just like your beloved prophet said.

This is not a matter of being a little bit pregnant, this is a quest to reconcile conflicting beliefs and desires. Liz was trying her best to be helpful to Seven, which makes her a helpful person.

Thanks, Mok!

;)

[_truth dancer]

I think we all do our best trying to manage disbelief. The situation is complex and often there are no easy solutions.

A couple thoughts...

Living a lie is never filled with peace and holiness.

Giving up your integrity, honesty, and authenticity so others will like you is not the way to like yourself.

If you are a believer in God, do you think God would rather have you engaged in and supportive of, the lies and dishonesty of a church founded on deceit, or to live a life based on your best understanding of truth?

Do parents have any responsibility to help their children learn truth even if it is unpopular?

Is pleasing family members more important than living a holy life and teaching your children your best understanding of truth?

What do you think of parents who raise their children to engage in and support organizations that are unhealthy or incorrect?

Just some things to think about...

:-)

Wishing you peace,

~dancer~

[_Seven]

I think we all do our best trying to manage disbelief. The situation is complex and often there are no easy solutions.

A couple thoughts...

Living a lie is never filled with peace and holiness.

Giving up your integrity, honesty, and authenticity so others will like you is not the way to like yourself.

If you are a believer in God, do you think God would rather have you engaged in and supportive of, the lies and dishonesty of a church founded on deceit, or to live a life based on your best understanding of truth?

Do parents have any responsibility to help their children learn truth even if it is unpopular?

Is pleasing family members more important than living a holy life and teaching your children your best understanding of truth?

What do you think of parents who raise their children to engage in and support organizations that are unhealthy or incorrect?

Just some things to think about...

:-)

Wishing you peace,

~dancer~

Hi Truth Dancer,
Amen to your thoughts. I always seem to agree with you! I really have a lot to ponder over before I get serious about going back. I hope I can find a way to support my husband and remain connected to the family without losing my authenticity and integrity. I won't pretend to be something I am not, but I do find many parts of the Mormon church beneficial for my children and my own spirtual growth. There are going to be issues the family will know I still do not support and I will not remain silent if those topics come up. It helps to know there are many other "New Order" type Mormons out there changing the church within their families.

I can't paint the entire religion as unhealthy, (even if I disagree with some foundational doctrines) because for the most part, I had a really good experience being raised Mormon. It was finding out the history of the church that ruined my life. My children won't be kept in the dark on church history like I was. I have more influence over what they are being taught than the little time they spend in church on Sunday. I have also seen how many lives are changed for the better from the gospel and I guess the modern day LDS church is as good a place to learn Christ's teachings as any other.

[_Bond...James Bond]

PP, you a very different situation. Your wife eventually left the church with you, If I recall correctly. It's a big mess when one spouse remains TBM. I have wondered what would happen if my DH chose to leave the church and I know his family will blame me. I will be one of Satan's minions who led him astray. I don't see a good outcome either way with TBM family.

My kids will remain a part of the Mormon church whether I like it or not and even if my DH divorced me. I may as well make the best of it and try to find some peace in worshiping there.

My issues with church doctrine happen to be the very foundation of Mormon afterlife so I do understand if others here view me as weak for not standing by my principles and leaving it all behind. It's such a tough situation when those you love dearly don't care about polygamy, racism, misleading teachings in church, or Prophets speaking as men in the name of God.

I look at members like Brackite and wish that all Mormons could view polygamy as he does. I would feel like I fit in better.

Like Liz, when my children are old enough, they will know my feelings toward certain teachings and doctrines. They will not be raised little Joseph Smith worshipers like so many TBMs do. I want to raise them with high morals/values and a love for their fellow man, Christ, and themselves. I still believe the Mormon church can be the right vehicle for this if I teach them correct history at home.

My biggest concern is being looked at as the wolf in sheeps clothing or dishonest for not being a TBM and taking the sacrament. I am not sure if I will ever desrie doing temple work again. I love to visit the grounds and the inside is very peaceful but the rest of it I no longer feel connected to.

I also would like to attend other church's with my children now and then. This is something I have never done in my entire life and it would be good for me.

I feel profound sadness that you're stuck in this pickle Seven. Hope you reach some type of arrangement that's good for all parties someday ;)

Porter,

Rather than chewing these ladies out who are trying to make the best out of not the best situations (In my opinion anyway)...perhaps you should constrain your criticisms to the culture that pressures them into the pickles they're in. It's obvious these are not TBM people who are completely blinded by faith. They're doing the best they can. They simply don't want to lose the family connections that some people are willing to. That's their choice I guess.

[_Seven]

PP, you have a very different situation. Your wife eventually left the church with you, If I recall correctly. It's a big mess when one spouse remains TBM. I have wondered what would happen if my DH chose to leave the church and I know his family will blame me. I will be one of Satan's minions who led him astray. I don't see a good outcome either way with TBM family.

My kids will remain a part of the Mormon church whether I like it or not and even if my DH divorced me. I may as well make the best of it and try to find some peace in worshiping there.

I feel profound sadness that you're stuck in this pickle Seven. Hope you reach some type of arrangement that's good for all parties someday ;)

Porter,

Rather than chewing these ladies out who are trying to make the best out of not the best situations (In my opinion anyway)...perhaps you should constrain your criticisms to the culture that pressures them into the pickles they're in. It's obvious these are not TBM people who are completely blinded by faith. They're doing the best they can. They simply don't want to lose the family connections that some people are willing to. That's their choice I guess.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and understanding Bond. :)

[_Polygamy Porter]

Liz,

May I ask at what age you would allow any of your children to stop attending Mormon church services?

[_Bond...James Bond]

Thank you for your kind thoughts and understanding Bond. :)

I hope you'll remember that the world (and the people in it) can make you do many things....but they can't control what you think.....even if you go through the motions of church or whatever, I hope you'll reach some sort of inner peace, whether it's believing in God or not or whatever.