Need your opinion

[_Bond...James Bond]

Crikey.....tell him to keep his damn opinion to himself or you'll arrange a meeting with Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary (your fists....or your lawyers if they ironically enough have those names...sounds like Defamation of Chracter to me)....don't let him interview your kids.

As to the sowing of false hope to your wife (that you'll return to the church in 5, 10, whatever # of years).....explain to your wife that you won't ever (as I assume you're pretty convicted the LDS church is false?) return to being a TBM. Might also want to explain that THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT'S CHANGED! You're still committed to her and the kids! BE THE ROCK!

Tell that bishop to cram it.....

[_evolving]

It has been my experience that most bishops are just trying help people the best they know how, they did not have any official training, they are not trained counselors, being a bishop is such a black and white world where good faithful traditional LDS views and happy families = God & the spirit – all bad things, negative feelings, anger, confusion, anything that is not what they see as good just has to be of Satan.. that is the world view of a bishop..

Now there are bishops that I consider sex crazed borderline pedophiles, who get their kicks by hearing confessions of teen-age girls who went too far on a date. Or extracting the details of extra-marital affairs, and replaying them over and over during bogus “courts of love” if your impression is, that he is a well intentioned guy with your best intention at heart give him a break, Most bishops have learned what to do and not do mostly by trial and error, as long as you are still attending, you are not out of place at all to pull him aside and give him a training session on what advice is not welcome with your wife and your marriage. In the most delicate way, tell him to keep his personal beliefs of what Satan is doing to you and your family to himself.

If he is a arrogant prick, with an all-knowing god complex, or you would not be surprised to find out he was banging the Relief Society president in the library pull him aside and tell him to @#$% off.

~evolving

[_Who Knows]

Who Knows, based on your post clarifying what the Bishop said I'm pretty sure he would NOT undermine your authority with your kids.

If you had kids, and someone in a position of authority (that your kids respected) told your kids that you were basically listening to satan, what would you do?

[_The Nehor]

Who Knows, based on your post clarifying what the Bishop said I'm pretty sure he would NOT undermine your authority with your kids.

If you had kids, and someone in a position of authority (that your kids respected) told your kids that you were basically listening to satan, what would you do?

That hasn't happened and I don't think it will.

[_Who Knows]

Who Knows, based on your post clarifying what the Bishop said I'm pretty sure he would NOT undermine your authority with your kids.

If you had kids, and someone in a position of authority (that your kids respected) told your kids that you were basically listening to satan, what would you do?

That hasn't happened and I don't think it will.

Can you clarify? That hasn't happened to you? you don't think that'll happen to you? or to me? just not sure what you mean here.

If so, yes, it may or may not happen. But it did happen to my wife. That's bad enough. Luckily, she's smart enough to see through it.

Anyhow, can you answer the question I asked you (putting aside the chances that it may or may not happen)?

[_asbestosman]

worried that I was having a bad influence on her.

I think this is the only thing worth worrying about. That the bishop thinks you are under the influence of Satan is to be expected. Nothing will change that. He might be persuaded not to go around saying that to your family (as I think that's out of place), but nothing will change his mind.

What I think would be more interesting would be to have the bishop explain precisely how you are a bad influence by backing up the claims. And by that I don't mean the symptoms of your wife being unsure. What he needs to put up or shut-up about is whether or not you are exerting pressure on your wife to give up her faith more or less against her will. I seriously doubt you are doing that. I don't think you'd pressure an adult who does not wish to listen to your POV.

That said, I'd also be more concerned with your wife's perception of you and what she teaches the children as well as what the children are being taught about you in church. If anyone is speaking ill of you at church to them, I'd be livid. You are not a deadbeat nor an abuser. You let them attend church as they will. You do not deserve to be ill-spoken of.

Maybe you should consider a letter after you have a few nights to sleep it off so that you can reply as one hurt by the remarks instead of insulted and angry (which is your right, but would likely confirm the bishop's prejudices to himself of you).

[_Bond...James Bond]

Can you clarify? That hasn't happened to you? you don't think that'll happen to you? or to me? just not sure what you mean here.

If so, yes, it may or may not happen. But it did happen to my wife. That's bad enough. Luckily, she's smart enough to see through it.

Anyhow, can you answer the question I asked you (putting aside the chances that it may or may not happen)?

I took at his meaning that since he's not married and doesn't have kids it hasn't happened to him yet, and thus can't give a realistic response since he isn't anywhere near where you are in terms of being a father/husband. He also is wondering if it'll (marriage and family) will happen for him......or maybe I'm totally off.

[_wenglund]

I think it perfectly appropriate to graciously express your concerns to the Bishop and work out a mutually agreeable resolution.

Perhaps you can make the Bishop a deal: if he promises not to bad-mouth you to your wife and kids or anyone else, you promise not to bad-mouth the faith of the Bishop and your wife and kids to them or anyone else--including anonymously on the internet. ;-)

I think a mutually respectful conversation with your wife and kids about your concerns may also prove advantageous.

However, absent this, and unless your wife and kids are currently in agreement with you about your perceptions of the Bishop interviews, then single-handedly grounding them from attending Bishop's interviews (as rashly suggested earlier in the thread) may unwittingly do the very thing you hope to prevent--i.e. undermine your authority in the minds of your wife and children.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[_Mary]

Who knows, I would have a private word with him. Having said that, you know what kind of person he is and whether it would do any good or not.

My bishop was balanced towards me, (when I was on the road to inactivity) he understood, asked if I wanted my name taken off the rolls, and supported me completely. He was careful I think not to burn bridges with me and I respect him for that totally. He never for once mentioned that I was under the 'wrong' influence, infact I think he had a strong feeling that I was on the right course for me.

Maybe your bishop isn't like him,...... if he's even suggesting that you are listening to dark voices, then he probably isn't....

Tricky one,.....I think I wouldn't be able to resist having a word but I'd have to do it without anger, recrimination or arrogance. (and that might be tricky if it had really ticked me off)

Mary

[_Mary]

Perhaps you can make the Bishop a deal: if he promises not to bad-mouth you to your wife and kids or anyone else, you promise not to bad-mouth the faith of the Bishop and your wife and kids to them or anyone else--including anonymously on the internet. ;-)

Wade, why do you have to stick the dagger in to your post.

sigh

Mary