Do you think it would be fun to be a General Authority?

[_Trevor]

I think I would be completely miserable as a GA. I hate the wardrobe. There are far too many people scrutinizing you. I don't like worshiping my superiors in an organization (speaking figuratively of course). I also don't like it when people try to suck up to me. Obsequiousness and sycophancy make me wretch.

[_Sethbag]

You could never be a GA. You along with the rest of half of the population is automatically excluded.

Are the female leaders of Relief Society and YW and Primary not considered "general authorities"? I know they're generally not referred to as such, but would it be incorrect to refer to them that way?

The word "general" in General Authority refers to the jurisdiction of their authority. Their authority is over the whole church. Just like an Area Authority has authority over the jurisdiction of their area. The female leaders have no actual priesthood authority, so I personally think GA would be incorrect as a term for them. They might be "General Relief Society President" or whatever, but that includes no priesthood authority whatsoever, and since priesthood authority is what it's all about in the church, that means diddly squat, really.

[_The Nehor]

You could never be a GA. You along with the rest of half of the population is automatically excluded.

Are the female leaders of Relief Society and YW and Primary not considered "general authorities"? I know they're generally not referred to as such, but would it be incorrect to refer to them that way?

I believe that the Auxiliary Leaders (SS, YM, YW, Relief Society, Primary) are referred to as the General Officers of the Church.

[_beastie]

Obsequiousness and sycophancy make me wretch.

you could never make it as an apologist then, either. ;)

[_Trevor]

you could never make it as an apologist then, either. ;)

And here I had high hopes for improvement in my mental health, a la wade englund.

[_barrelomonkeys]

And here I had high hopes for improvement in my mental health, a la wade englund.

Don't we all!?!

[_Mercury]

I think it might be cool, if for no other reason than we can tell the lamest joke in the world and still get the audience to roll in the aisle in laughter.

It's as if the rank and file consider it almost sinful not to guffaw at the geriatric suits' lame attempts at humor.

I remember looking around at the people attending a satelite broadcast and thinking that either these people are engaged in hero worship or they are dolts after hinckley told a pathetic joke. This was when I was becoming disillusioned and realised to what extent these people held this geriatric huckster.

[_KimberlyAnn]

you could never make it as an apologist then, either. ;)

And here I had high hopes for improvement in my mental health, a la wade englund.

Wade surely had high hopes for improvement in your mental health, also, Trevor. Alas, your anti-Mormon bias and cognitive distortions rendered you incapable of benefiting from his sage advice to look inward to find the source of all disaffection with Mormonism. If only you could see that the problem lies with you and not the church, you could then soften your heart and be of sound mental health once again, just like all the gays helped by Wade's CSADD endeavor.

KA

[_David A. Bednar]

Well, I must say it is a lot of hard work.

With my travels to Jamaica, Haiti and South America on a regular basis, I'm pretty tired when I get back home.

And then, when I get home, Brother Packer has usually left 20 or so messages on my answering machine, the one next to the red phone especially for the General Authorities.

And then, the temple recommend interviews, in the temple with President Hinckley can be brutal sometimes. He is a Prophet most definitely. He can look right into your soul. Our bishops can't seem to get the power of discernment, unlike our dear Prophet.

We apostles can't get away with anything anymore!

[_Mister Scratch]

And then, when I get home, Brother Packer has usually left 20 or so messages on my answering machine, the one next to the red phone especially for the General Authorities.

(emphasis added)

I am glad you are confessing to its existence, my dear Brother Bednar. When your grandfather made a deal with me, some many eons ago, so that you, his progeny, might rise to the upper stratum of apostlehood, I told him that I expected a certain degree of honesty to emerge in the Church. It is good that he---and by extension you---did not violate his end of our contract. Who knows what I would have to do otherwise? In any case, I expect to see you soon, perhaps when you go to fetch a drink of water..... (You should ask Elder Monson if you don't know what I'm talking about.)