Page 1, Roger's novel

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_Roger Morrison
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Page 1, Roger's novel

Post by _Roger Morrison »

Hi All this novel was started some 20 years ago. Worked on, set aside many times. This is now serious re-write time as my own time allotment is rapidly running down.

Setting is early 50s. The wrong side of the tracks. Five guys have grown up together and now anticipate the fast life. Very different but complimenting personalities take them down, and up, different roads. I will appreciate every comment. If there are any?? I hope this 'paste' works... Warm regards, Roger

“Hi, my name is Scotty. Well, it’s really Dellbert Mervin Scott. But every one calls me Scotty. For which I’m glad. Except teachers, and my folks when they’re mad at me.
I’m not supposed to say “mad” when talking about people, because only animals get “mad”. People get angry. So my old-lady says. I’m not so sure. Some folks I’ve seen are a lot like animals. You know what I mean?
Anyway, I’m writing sort of a diary. Miss Goode, My Grade 8 teacher, says, “everyone has a book inside them.” She said if we just show it to her she’ll give us extra marks. I like that. And, she said she won’t read it because she wants us to be natural, and don’t worry about spelling. I like that even more.
So, you are reading my book. I don’t know what it will be like, but I hope you like it. It’s not going to be like a regular diary, with dates and “Dear” every time I write something. I don’t know where, when, or how it will end. But, I do know “why”. Because, I’ll make it end. Just watch.
Since it’s natural, there will be some swear words and dirty-stuff in it too. Maybe some words you’ve never even heard. When the guys are together, well we don’t talk the same as when we’re at home. I would never swear in front of my parents. Out loud anyway. Sometimes under my breath at the old-man. But us guys we say the Father-Uncle-Cousin-King word a lot. Do you know what that means? It’s ““F””. But we don’t say that around girls. I don’t smoke at home either. But we do smoke around girls, because that’s “Real George”.
I’m going on 15 now and can’t wait to grow up. So far it ain’t been that easy. Like it was being a little kid. But at least here, we don’t have to run from bombers and stuff like in England, and those places. That would be really crappy. But we put up with some crappy stuff too.
Mostly for being natural, like Miss Goode says our book should be. Kids today are a lot worse than kids in the old days. At least that’s what the old-man says. So his idea to make me good, is to treat me bad. Like here a wack, there a wack, everywhere a wack-wack. Half the time I don’t even know for what. By his grins, I think it makes him feel good to see me feel scared. That won’t go on for ever.
Anyway, when the guys get together we shoot the ka-ka. You know what that is , right? It makes us feel real good to yak about all the ka-ka we gotta take.
There are five of us guys. So our gang is called, “Five Of A Kind”. Like in poker there’s four of a kind, but also a Five Card Straight. So we tied them together, ‘cause we bend things sometimes and don’t want to be seen as sissy-straight.
But really, we’re not all alike either. I’ll tell you more about that later. Right now the old-man has his cronies in a knot so I gotta run to avoid a wack....


The last sentence wasn't/isn't intended to be anything but a sign-off to this 'paste'. OK, tell it to me "straight" :-)
_barrelomonkeys
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Post by _barrelomonkeys »

Hey Roger, what a wonderful idea to post this. Did you know Shades has blogs set up on this site too? You could post your entire work on the blog too if you'd like.


I enjoyed the first page and look forward to reading the rest. :)
_Roger Morrison
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Post by _Roger Morrison »

Thanks, Barrelofmonkeys the blog suggestion is a great idea! Two hundred +/- pages might be a bit heavy on a blog? One reason for this rewrite is to "clean-up" the language. Some have said, "too much profanity". But teen age guys... I'm glad you enjoyed it. Maybe, page by page. Warm regards, Roger
_Yoda

Post by _Yoda »

Roger Morrison wrote:Thanks, Barrelofmonkeys the blog suggestion is a great idea! Two hundred +/- pages might be a bit heavy on a blog? One reason for this rewrite is to "clean-up" the language. Some have said, "too much profanity". But teen age guys... I'm glad you enjoyed it. Maybe, page by page. Warm regards, Roger


You don't need to clean up the language. It's not being used gratuitously. It moves the story along, and is appropriate for the characters.

Good story!

:)
_silentkid
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Re: Page 1, Roger's novel

Post by _silentkid »

Roger Morrison wrote:Anyway, when the guys get together we shoot the ka-ka. You know what that is , right? It makes us feel real good to yak about all the ka-ka we gotta take...I gotta run to avoid a wack....


Hey Roger. This is good stuff. I really enjoy your writing style. Who are some of your influences, if any? I especially like the part I quoted above. The wordplay is excellent. I like how you use the word "yak" along with ka-ka...an inversion of sorts. I enjoy the "hard k" consonant repetition in the phrase I bolded. I also like the subtle rhyme of wack with yak, intentional or not...

I look forward to reading some more.
_Roger Morrison
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Post by _Roger Morrison »

Thanks All, for your comments. Very encouraging. I don't know if i'm consciously influenced by any one? But, i do enjoy stringing words to fit my perceptions of folk experiene, especially of kids and the challenges they encounter between parent and peer influence. Neither one as stereotypical as 'parents' present the issues--them always being right.

At the moment the manuscript is in the hands of someone who i think can be helpful to its advancement? I will get it back in a week or so. Then continue it bit by bit on a MM blog as suggested. I appreciate, and benefit from, specifics. Warm regards, Roger
_Ren
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Post by _Ren »

I kinda like it Roger - the way you write is quite engaging.
Wondering about this bit...
But at least here, we don’t have to run from bombers and stuff like in England, and those places. That would be really crappy.

...what is it in reference to? Early 50's right?
_Roger Morrison
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Post by _Roger Morrison »

RenegadeOfPhunk wrote:I kinda like it Roger - the way you write is quite engaging.
Wondering about this bit...
But at least here, we don’t have to run from bombers and stuff like in England, and those places. That would be really crappy.

...what is it in reference to? Early 50's right?


Thanks. Good point. Initially it started: "Growing up ain't easy in war time. Specially if you're a Jap or Krout. But it ain't even easy here. Like there, they know who the enemies are. Here we don't always know. Some times who we think is a friend turns out to be an enemy. A friend never makes you feel crappy. So if someone makes you feel crappy... Sometimes i think i'm surrounded by enemies..."

This is without having the original in front of me. I more accurately should have said, "beginning in the forties". Then moving through the fabulous-fifties, when the poor would experience opportunities and wealth never before dreamed of. They were REALLY heady times. I know, i rode the wave!

Maybe i should return to the original? I thought it might be a bit crude in today's sensitiveness?

Hope that clarifies somewhat? Warm regards, Roger
_Ren
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Post by _Ren »

Roger Morrison wrote:I more accurately should have said, "beginning in the forties". Then moving through the fabulous-fifties, when the poor would experience opportunities and wealth never before dreamed of.

Ahh ok. Yeah - that clarifies :)

Maybe I should return to the original? I thought it might be a bit crude in today's sensitiveness?

*shrug* I can't stand political correctness 'just for the sake of it'...
...sounds like the kind of thing a 40's / 50's kid would say - to me...
_barrelomonkeys
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Post by _barrelomonkeys »

Roger, I don't think it's too crude at all. Didn't offend my sensitivities at all.
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