So my poker penis felt like it was a porn star last night...

_Nephi · Post by **_Nephi** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 4:43 pm

Heh... Last night, I hopped on my cycle and ran 30 miles north of here to the VFW in Morgantown to play a lil poker. It was a tournament. $25 buyin, $20 addons/rebuys for the first hour. Approx 30 people played, and the pot ended up being $1000 for 1st place, $325 for 2nd, $100 for 3rd. I made it to the final table, but went out in 8th place.

So, afterwards, I sat down at the cash game table. It was $5 blind from the dealer, no limit holdem. I had $200 in my pocket, and put $100 of it up to begin with. I lost the $100 in about 4 hands after chasing a flush that never happened. So I put the other $100 up on the table. Immediately, I was stuck there with an open-ended strait draw, and a bluffer trying to bet me out of the pot. He's not overly bright, because by the size of the pot, I was well within my pot odds to call him all the way to the river. However, on the turn he put me all in, which I called, and I hit my strait on the river. So I was back up to $200.

A few hands later, and a $150 later added to my stack, I was in a 4 way pot. I had pocket 9s, and the flop came down with a flush draw on the table, and nothing higher than a 6. There was tons of action, and judging by the way people were playing, two of them were on flush draws, and one had hit the top pair (which was 5s on the board at the time). Before it was all said and down, two were all in, and the other guy and I had a big d*ck contest to see who could bet the other out of the pot. Neither of us did, but when it was all said and done, no flush happened, and I had the winning hand, racking in easily $700 in that pot.

After about 3 hours of playing, I walked away with just over $800 for the evening, or up $600 in other words. What is making my penis feel like a porn star is that kind of money is 2-3 weeks worth of paychecks from my job. I am not some donkey who has never played poker either, but my ability to read the player and the cards, while working out pot odds and chances for making my hand have become much more refined in the last few years. I am no pro, understand me, but I am not just playing around anymore. I am seriously considering heading to Louisville and hiting Caesar's riverboat across the river this weekend. Those who I know, and who know me at the tables, say that I would profit well there.

Maybe someday you will see me on TV, playing some cash game and winning thousands of dollars :P

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 4:55 pm

"penis feels like a porn star"

That's an interesting statement Nephi. I've never heard anyone frame their triumphs in that way before. I wonder how porn stars feel and whether or not they feel rather majestic with their penises? Of course I'm not too familiar with male porn stars so I couldn't say either way. Although often times I think men do use their members as a way to gauge themselves which strikes me as odd.

Anyway. Sorry. I just thought that was a curious and quite illustrious way of framing your winnings.

Congratulations by the way.

_Nephi · Post by **_Nephi** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 5:00 pm

barrelomonkeys wrote:I've never heard anyone frame their triumphs in that way before...I just thought that was a curious and quite illustrious way of framing your winnings.

Back when I used to hang out on IRC all the time (I still find myself on there occasionally), it was common to hear someone say that they had a big ePenis because of xyz. Since this wasn't something that happened online, I couldn't say that I had a big ePenis, so I reworded it for the situation. Hey, its better than to say my penis was massive because I raped a few guys on the table last night, eh? :P