Thread At MA&D About Doubting Members and Fair/MA&D

[_Runtu]

I'm afraid MMS's request probably came off as "mocking"--they did not read it as sincere. I've learned that it can be hard to convey tone in a written message. When dealing with some posters, they automatically react from a position of defense--they are on edge, expecting that you are ready to pounce on them if they let their guard down.

It's easy to be labeled and categoried with your first few posts and then it's hard to get others to change their mindset.

MMS, I remember that thread and felt you were sincere when you posted, but it was clear you were appealing to the wrong crowd. As a newbie, you wouldn't have known that. That's what I meant about the dynamics of a board on the Deconversion thread at MADB.

I'm glad to see you here, Alter Idem. You have always struck me as kind and compassionate, as well as reasonable. Dammit, I have a hard time keeping my cool in the face of some people's attacks. I should try to behave more like you do.

[_Yoda]

I'm afraid MMS's request probably came off as "mocking"--they did not read it as sincere. I've learned that it can be hard to convey tone in a written message. When dealing with some posters, they automatically react from a position of defense--they are on edge, expecting that you are ready to pounce on them if they let their guard down.

It's easy to be labeled and categoried with your first few posts and then it's hard to get others to change their mindset.

MMS, I remember that thread and felt you were sincere when you posted, but it was clear you were appealing to the wrong crowd. As a newbie, you wouldn't have known that. That's what I meant about the dynamics of a board on the Deconversion thread at MADB.

Thank you for responding. I would like to prod a bit further, if I may.

What I don't understand is WHY the guard immediately has to be up? Why does each question have to be addressed as if apologists have a chip on their shoulder? Isn't the reason they are doing research to enlighten rather than attack? In my educational understanding, and I think that Blixa, The Dude, and several others here with PhD's will agree with me....The goal of scholars is to discover, and to further enlighten others with their knowledge.

What is the point to being consistently on the defensive? What does it accomplish other than to cause the party you're addressing to also, in turn, go on the defensive?

If you honestly have right on your side...and that right is combined with knowledge, is it not better to share this knowledge with decorum and courtesy?

[_barrelomonkeys]

When I first posted on MAD pretty much every post I made I put a disclaimer on it. I attempted to convey that I had no ill will toward LDS and stated the purpose of my visit to the site. I reiterated it over and over and over again. And it's the truth! I was given a warm reception by some and a few warmed up to me after a bit.

The knee jerks over there are hard to witness sometimes. It's a shame that those needing help can be treated as trolls and that fingers fly so recklessly over keys to jab and wound sincere honest people.

I asked the MADites before; why not treat all of them (trolls or not?!) as if they are sincere? It doesn't really matter if someone is a troll. It matters how we react to them, no?

[_Runtu]

If you honestly have right on your side...and that right is combined with knowledge, is it not better to share this knowledge with decorum and courtesy?

liz,

Don't you know that calling for decorum and courtesy means you hold a double-standard?

[_Yoda]

It doesn't really matter if someone is a troll. It matters how we react to them, no?

This has always been my stance, and the response has always been crickets chirping.

I have never been able to gain a satisfactory answer to this.

[_barrelomonkeys]

It doesn't really matter if someone is a troll. It matters how we react to them, no?

This has always been my stance, and the response has always been crickets chirping.

I have never been able to gain a satisfactory answer to this.

Well when I asked that question I had a few posters agree and mention that I was someone that was sincere and they were glad they didn't attack me from the get go.

Of course I made great pains to ensure that I acted appropriately and respectfully at all times.

[_Doctor Steuss]

She's everyone! It's just Juliann and Dr. Steuss that post there. Duh.

LOL! I was unaware the voices were posting... no wonder my logic keeps getting attacked.

[_Alter Idem]

I'm afraid MMS's request probably came off as "mocking"--they did not read it as sincere. I've learned that it can be hard to convey tone in a written message. When dealing with some posters, they automatically react from a position of defense--they are on edge, expecting that you are ready to pounce on them if they let their guard down.

It's easy to be labeled and categoried with your first few posts and then it's hard to get others to change their mindset.

MMS, I remember that thread and felt you were sincere when you posted, but it was clear you were appealing to the wrong crowd. As a newbie, you wouldn't have known that. That's what I meant about the dynamics of a board on the Deconversion thread at MADB.

I'm glad to see you here, Alter Idem. You have always struck me as kind and compassionate, as well as reasonable. Dammit, I have a hard time keeping my cool in the face of some people's attacks. I should try to behave more like you do.

Thanks Runtu, I'm sorry you got suspended. There are some threads that are sure to head south quick and that was one of them.

When I first joined the board, I didn't want to report posters who were out of line--rather I'd say something on the thread. But the mods don't want us making comments on other posters' tone or civility--(I've been accused of board nannying too), so now I try to report the threads and let the mods handle it.

I'd really like to see the participants stop commenting on MMS personally and discuss the topic in general--I don't know if the posters there are capable of doing this though. As long as the mods allow infractions by long-timers, the newer members follow suit.

[Guest]

Check out the latest. Selek is in, well, I was going to say "rare", but he is actually in his usual form. Telling me I have a tube of preparation H up my a**. Nice.

I said:

Since you raised the unrepentant, Selek, I thought I would mention that I remain available for you to complete your restitution for your comment that I will spend an eternity in hell. Since the comment was made publicly, it may be that restitution would require a public apology, but I am not picky, so a PM will be fine. Let the record reflect that the opportunity was yours.

by the way, if by reprobate, you mean the following, "a person rejected by God and beyond hope of salvation" (see Dictionary.com), you might want to refrain from suggesting that any here are such, considering it would be usurping the role of your maker and judge and as far as everyone here is (or should be) concerned, there is hope for all.


Best,

mms

Selek responded:

mms, the cap on the tube of Preparation H is intended to come off before you apply the cream...you want what's inside, not the whole tube. You might find life a little more comfortable if you heed this advice (hey, there's a first time for everything).

Second, my comment was wholly tongue-in-cheek and was directed toward LOAP, not yourself.

Third, I have I usurped no authority that is not mine, nor did I call anyone a reprobate. I do think your knee-jerk reaction to associate your name with that charge is extremely telling, however.

Here are the facts- You were permitted to return after your suspension for misbehavior.

Instead of making the most of that opportunity, you have simply gone on the attack- criticizing others and exploiting every chance to bemoan your fate and proclaim yourself a victim.

I and others am not buying it- and believe it or not, posts can be made on these boards that have nothing to do with you.

Flaunt your greivances elsewhere- I'm not here to listen to you cry into your beer.

I responded:

Awesome. (LOAP, I can see you associate with the cream of the crop (did I say "cream"?).)

This guy is a real piece of . . . uhhh . . . work.

[_cksalmon]

Check out the latest. Selek is in, well, I was going to say "rare", but he is actualy in his usual form. Telling me I have a tube of preparation H up my a**. Nice.

Selek isn't one of the nice ones on MADB--if you're a doubting Mormon. With critics, he's actually okay (he's been nice to me, for example). But, with questioning LDS, he seems to be something of a Pah, jr. I wouldn't let him get to you. Yeah, sure, he won't be given more than nominal flak from the mods. Deal with it. He's a gloves-off defender of LDS "orthodoxy." He doesn't have to be nice. That's your job, mms.

CKS

PS. I really like that he associated you with crying into your beer. Classic. You have problems with LDS apologetic answers? Well, you're an alcoholic. Plain and simple. And ridiculous. By which I mean, worthy of ridicule. Blechk.