How far is too far for suicidal thoughts?

[_Bond...James Bond]

Monkey:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7BQRGXFLJs

And Bond:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loWrI1FneSM

I feel pretty....I feel pretty!

[_barrelomonkeys]

Monkey:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7BQRGXFLJs

And Bond:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loWrI1FneSM

I feel pretty....I feel pretty!

Me too!

I feel pretty
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and gay
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me today
I feel charming
Oh so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real
See the pretty girl in that mirror there?
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face
Such a pretty dress
Such a pretty smile
Such a pretty me!
I feel stunning
And entrancing
Feel like running
And dancing for joy
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy
Have you met my good friend Maria
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock
She thinks she's in love
She thinks she's in Spain
She isn't in love
She's merely insane
It must be the heat
Or some rare disease
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas
Keep away from her
Send for Chino
This is not the Maria we know
Modest and pure
Polite and refined
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!
Miss America, Miss America, speech!
Miss America, bravo, speech!
I feel pretty
Oh so pretty
That the city should give me its key
A committee
Should be organized to honour me
I feel dizzy
I feel sunny
I feel fizzy and funny and fine
And so pretty
Miss America can just resign
See the pretty girl in that mirror there
(What mirror, where?)
Who can that attractive girl be?
(Which, what, where, whom?)
Such a pretty face
Such a pretty dress
Such a pretty smile
Such a pretty me!
I feel stunning
And entrancing
Feel like running and dancing for joy
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy

:)

[_Yoda]

But isn't it strange now that the problem now isn't the problem anymore? Now the problem is how you're dealing with the problem. It's a problem about a problem, which causes a problem! Let's cut out a few steps, shall we?

Who cares about your suicidal thoughts? Those aren't REALLY what's wrong. They're a symptom. Of what?

When I get suicidal thoughts nowadays, it brings up a little red warning light in my mind (litterally, I hallucinate it, it blocks out the rest of my vision for a while). It tells me there's something I'm afraid of dealing with, something I want to avoid. Usually whatever that is isn't even defined very well -- which is what makes it so scary. It's like this big blur of nothing chasing me down.

What I do then is I define it. I take a look at whatever scenario that I'm avoiding so much, and I run through it's absolute worst-case scenario. I'm talking as bad as things could possibly get, I define it down to the very last detail. I find once the scary blurriness is made into a sharp image, it's not scary anymore. Anything that's as well defined as that, I know I can deal with.

Keene's thoughts on this are very wise. I have done the same thing. Sometimes when you just "face the dragon", you realize it's not as horrible as you think it will be.

Nephi, I really think, though, that if you are having suicidal thoughts, you need to talk to a professional. It doesn't mean you're crazy. Sometimes, it really just helps to sort things out with an unbiased third party who can give you some perspective.

At least think about it?

[_Yoda]

Monkey:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7BQRGXFLJs

And Bond:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loWrI1FneSM

I feel pretty....I feel pretty!

"West Side Story" is one of my favorite musicals! It was the first musical I had a lead in. I was Anita.

[_Yoda]

No offense but Universalist Mormon is an Oxymoron.

Holy Crap, Mercury is the voice of reason here !

*sigh* Don't be an ass!

Nephi has the right to believe what he wants to believe...and he has a right to attend Church and conduct his life the way he sees best.

[_Mercury]

and I really am not sure why I posted this here to begin with.

Because of your honesty. And that's the way to live, by being honest with yourself, and others, as far as possible. I flirted with thoughts of suicide when I was 19, before I joined the Church, and then when I joined I was sorry I didn't carry it out. (I'm joking!)

Best wishes, and I do like your posts, and your thoughts. At one stage I thought I was the only mad universalist in the Church :)

Not to blame the church, but I have become more depressed since we joined the church than before it. Glad I am not the only Universalist Mormon either, heh.

No offense but Universalist Mormon is an Oxymoron.

No offense, merc, but stfu.

ok...ok

[_karl61]

I had a real bad month in april 1993. I started cutting my wrists and glad it just stopped there. I was on and off hosptial holds for a month. I think I was admitted four times- some how you get through it and have a lot of happy times after. Having had that bad month and another bad month in october 2002 when I didn't even call into work just stayed at home and thought of hanging myself with one of my five hundred ties, I started crying because, although my parents were very challenged and certains things were said to me that shouldn't have and certain things were not said that should have, they in no way deserved that message that would go down with them to their grave that their only son took his life. I posted how bad my depression got a while back and some how you just hang on and it works out, and like Jesus, you can say it is finished ....and go forward with life.

[_Blixa]

I had a real bad month in april 1993. I started cutting my wrists and glad it just stopped there. I was on and off hosptial holds for a month. I think I was admitted four times- some how you get through it and have a lot of happy times after. Having had that bad month and another bad month in october 2002 when I didn't even call into work just stayed at home and thought of hanging myself with one of my five hundred ties, I started crying because, although my parents were very challenged and certains things were said to me that shouldn't have and certain things were not said that should have, they in no way deserved that message that would go down with them to their grave that their only son took his life. I posted how bad my depression got a while back and some how you just hang on and it works out, and like Jesus, you can say it is finished ....and go forward with life.

amen (only time I've ever said that seriously)

[_jayneedoe]

I tried to suicide almost exactly a year ago. For me “calling a lifeline,” “seeing a therapist,” and “facing the dragon” were a million miles behind me. There was nothing more for me to do except to die. Strategizing how to die was all I ever thought about, and to this day I’m not really sure what happened that I was found in time.

I can’t even tell you I’m glad exactly. It was a revelation to me that I did not want to die, yet I had lived so long with death that it lingers with me to this day. I hold it at arm’s length because I did discover, in not dying, that I did not have to die. However, I also know how suddenly I can be sucked into the need to die again, and if that happens there is nothing holding me back. So like Steuss and others, I have a plan to keep myself out of danger.

That is why it is so important you listen to them as well. Staying out of danger is not a benign phrase. Staying out of danger is telling everyone you trust that you are in trouble and might need a ride to the hospital. Or that you might need someone to stay with you all night. Or you might need . . . . “ I don’t know you, so I don’t know your situation and what exactly you need to stay out of danger.

But if your are having ideations of ways to kill yourself, even just as a way to indulge yourself but not taking it seriously, you need to force your mind to figure out what you need to do to stay out of danger.

Because you don’t realize that any second the light bulb could go off with dazzling clarity and within an instant you could think “that would really work!” And then it is literally life or death, because with the plan already in place, there may be no reason to come back.

And even if it you don’t act on it this time, the plan may stay in your head forever. So please do something to keep yourself safe.

Jaynee

[_Bond...James Bond]

I'm sorry at all the sadness and suffering in the world. But I'm glad to know you all who post on this board.