How far is too far for suicidal thoughts?

[_ktallamigo]

During my life, it was my fear of God and the final judgment that kept me from ever contemplating suicide.

Since I am no longer sure if I believe in God, and with the terrible problems I've been having in my life, I've thought about suicide too.

Actually, it was the problems in my life that led me to question the church in the first place, and look into history and literature critical of the church.

So now, at the time in my life when a belief in God would be most helpful to me, I'm not sure if I believe. In a way I'm sort of sorry that I went down that road, but I still think it is better to know that truth than live in a world of delusion.

I think I understand why Marx said religion is the opium of the masses.

I'm surprised to find that so many others here have thoughts about suicide. I suppose it is a part of the human experience - and each individual's quest for purpose in life, and a response to the difficult problems we all face. I suppose we are just being honest about an issue that isn't usually talked about.

So - I guess it's Prozac, therapy, photos of the kids, and some kind of daily reminder of why we need to live.

In my case, like Nephi, I know that my kids need me. They need me. I gave birth to them, I brought them here, and I need to stick around for them. It would be so much easier to just go away...but I owe it to them. My kids are still quite young.

And, I'm a teacher. I'd be setting a bad example for my students.

Some days life is so good .. but other days...

[_Always Thinking]

In my case, like Nephi, I know that my kids need me. They need me. I gave birth to them, I brought them here, and I need to stick around for them. It would be so much easier to just go away...but I owe it to them. My kids are still quite young.

To quote Phoebe Cates on parenting in the movie "The Anniversary Party": "Suicide is not an option"

[_barrelomonkeys]

ktallamigo, I too think of my kids. Fortunately I don't suffer from long term depression.

I hope much brighter days for all of us. :)

Nephi, how you doing?

[_moksha]

I tried to suicide almost exactly a year ago. For me “calling a lifeline,” “seeing a therapist,” and “facing the dragon” were a million miles behind me. There was nothing more for me to do except to die. Strategizing how to die was all I ever thought about, and to this day I’m not really sure what happened that I was found in time.

I can’t even tell you I’m glad exactly. It was a revelation to me that I did not want to die, yet I had lived so long with death that it lingers with me to this day. I hold it at arm’s length because I did discover, in not dying, that I did not have to die. However, I also know how suddenly I can be sucked into the need to die again, and if that happens there is nothing holding me back. So like Steuss and others, I have a plan to keep myself out of danger.

That is why it is so important you listen to them as well. Staying out of danger is not a benign phrase. Staying out of danger is telling everyone you trust that you are in trouble and might need a ride to the hospital. Or that you might need someone to stay with you all night. Or you might need . . . . “ I don’t know you, so I don’t know your situation and what exactly you need to stay out of danger.

But if your are having ideations of ways to kill yourself, even just as a way to indulge yourself but not taking it seriously, you need to force your mind to figure out what you need to do to stay out of danger.

Because you don’t realize that any second the light bulb could go off with dazzling clarity and within an instant you could think “that would really work!” And then it is literally life or death, because with the plan already in place, there may be no reason to come back.

And even if it you don’t act on it this time, the plan may stay in your head forever. So please do something to keep yourself safe.

Jaynee

This is worth printing up and keeping in your wallet for then next time you or someone you know might need it.

[_Nephi]

Nephi, how you doing?

Still here.

[_Gazelam]

Deleted upon request.

[_KimberlyAnn]

Deleted upon request.

Gaz, you're a man of your word. Thank you!

Kimberly Ann

PS - See? I made a change for you, too.