How bad is this?

Post by **_Gazelam** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 5:03 am

How about focusing the chores.

Maybe monday is laundry day, tuesdays the bedrooms, wednesdays the bathrooms, etc... Could she handle that? My wife occasionally takes a break from chores, just lets things go for a week or so, but then gets back on a schedule.

Hey, maybe you could go to Texas and become FLDS, then you could just marry a maid ! Tell then whoever gets the most housework done gets the nookie.

Post by **_Scottie** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 5:27 am

Moniker wrote:
Mercury wrote:
Moniker wrote:Was it different before you moved to MS, Mercury? Does she miss her family and friends? Sorry... no real advice. :)

It really wasn't different. Hell, it wasn't different before the kids came.

Well, she just doesn't enjoy being a SAHM? I didn't either. I hated it! Despised it. When I started reciting Dr. Seuss to myself I knew my brain was fried. I did anything and everything I could to remind myself I was still a woman with desires, aspirations, dreams, etc... What are hers?

That reminds me of the commercial where the wife rhymes everything she says to the kids, then hubby takes her to a play and she says, "fantastic use of iambic pentameter....wameter."

Merc, if I were to go to her and ask her what is up, what would she say? What is her excuse for not getting anything done? Does she feel like it is "done enough", and that you just want it to be perfect? Or that she just doesn't have the energy to do the housework after dealing with the kids?

Nothing is as simple as "I'm just lazy".

Post by **_Mercury** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:06 am

Scottie wrote:
Merc, if I were to go to her and ask her what is up, what would she say? What is her excuse for not getting anything done? Does she feel like it is "done enough", and that you just want it to be perfect? Or that she just doesn't have the energy to do the housework after dealing with the kids?

Nothing is as simple as "I'm just lazy".

She would say that everything is normal. It is far from normal.

Post by **_Moniker** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:31 am

Mercury, have you thought about going to marriage counseling? I imagine you were both really young when you married and now you have 2 very young children. That alone is tough on a marriage. It sounds like you're unhappy, and perhaps she is too.

Post by **_Mercury** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:39 am

Moniker wrote:Mercury, have you thought about going to marriage counseling? I imagine you were both really young when you married and now you have 2 very young children. That alone is tough on a marriage. It sounds like you're unhappy, and perhaps she is too.

I have been considering it more and more.

Post by **_Moniker** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:40 am

Well, I don't think it would hurt to give it a shot? You say she spends a lot of time on the internet? How much, precisely?

Post by **_Jersey Girl** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:42 am

Mercury,

What is the issue of most importance to you? If you had to list the issues how would you do so, with 1 being the highest priority?

Post by **_Mercury** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:02 am

Jersey Girl wrote:Mercury,

What is the issue of most importance to you? If you had to list the issues how would you do so, with 1 being the highest priority?

1. Clean and orderly house
2. Kids are not "passively parented" when I am not around
3. Wife gains interests outside the home, possibly involving employment

Post by **_Mercury** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:03 am

Moniker wrote:Well, I don't think it would hurt to give it a shot? You say she spends a lot of time on the internet? How much, precisely?

8-10 hours a day

Post by **_Jersey Girl** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:04 am

I'll give it a go on working on this list.

What happens if you pull the computer, Mercury?