For Ray A

[_marg]

I see your sig line reads:

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." Sharon Stone

I'm wondering why you find that interesting? Do men fake whole relationships? Do women now a days have reason to fake orgasm? I don't get what you see in this quote.

[_Ray A]

I see your sig line reads:

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." Sharon Stone

I'm wondering why you find that interesting? Do men fake whole relationships? Do women now a days have reason to fake orgasm? I don't get what you see in this quote.

Three months later and I only just saw this question from marg. Well I've changed my sig. line anyway. But to explain the old one:

My perception is probably not very scientific, but from a superficial view it seems many men prefer to "go out with the boys" and have fun than have a "candlelight dinner", ie. getting pissed with their (male) mates is more fun. Many men I've talked too seem to like the "fringe benefits" of marriage/relationships ("she's a good cook, looks after the kids, keeps the house clean, etc"). Women want quality time with their partners, generally, and expect more attention than they generally get. I perceive women as being more willing to commit to a "full on" relationship, and to hear the "magic words" more often. Of course, I'm generalising here, with both sexes, but these are my perceptions. When a man has a hobby, be it cars, fishing, whatever, that's sometimes more important than his marriage (until the divorce looms large). Men often take women for granted, and will not start "grovelling" (paying real attention) until he sees the relationship under threat, and when it's too late he'll even get on his knees, and by then it is usually too late. Men will also often marry for sex, and sex alone, and to do that you have to fake a relationship. Sometimes they might even convince themselves they are really "in love", when what's below the waist is the real motivating factor.

A couple of months ago I met a lady (while working) who told me she had breast cancer. As soon as her husband found out, he left her. So perhaps unknown to her all that time, he was "faking it". Men seem to have a greater capacity to do this, even if this sort of thing is not confined to males. They like women by their side, but I've seen so many men treat their women like crap (and vice versa). And the women still don't leave.

By the way, there are more men visiting brothels and having affairs on the side than we are willing to believe. I've had this confirmed to me over the past two years, with an earth-shaking thud. Isn't that faking a relationship? You'd never believe the type of men who do this unless you see it firsthand. in my opinion it's better not to have a relationship than do this, but most men aren't willing to make that sacrifice. They want the cake too.

And you know what's really funny? Women more often than not stick very loyally by the men most likely to use and abuse them, and it takes them ages for them to realise they've been used. I've found it so curious with so many women that they feel so attracted to the "macho" types most likely to abuse them.

On the other board I post on (in Oz) I did a thread titled, "The Age of Chivalry", in which I wrote:

I just had to post this piece I witnessed this morning while shopping. On my way back to the car I passed a traffic light, and didn't even notice whether the "don't walk" sign was flashing, but I saw a guy shouting to this girl across the road. Apparently he made it across but she didn't, and he yelled "you F****** dick****, you could have crossed". Now I don't know if it was his sister, or his girlfriend, but judging by the different physical appearance they didn't look related. It did seem like a girlfriend/boyfriend situation. In any case, regardless of who the girl was, I was reminded that the days of Sir Walter Raleigh are long gone. Problem is I see a lot of this behaviour at work too. I really wonder why anyone puts up with this, and I wonder even more why some women seem to choose mates who treat them like chattels. Not that I'm basking in some kind of superiority mode here, because I've said before that I need a relationship like I need a hole in the head. Maybe it's often a case of them being suited to each other, and she might give him a dose or two herself. Ruff and Ready sort of relationship, great couples in history.

Sometimes I wonder why anyone wants a relationship these days. Do people volunteer to get beat up?

Note: My eldest son is in a relationship the very reverse of this, and how he has stayed with his partner this long is a mystery to me. I don't believe my views are one-sided here, because I've also seen many great and kind-hearted men abused by women. More often than not they're the ones most unlikley to out to try to "pick up", and remain loyal to their mates. We're a weird species.

[_marg]

Thanks Ray, I understand much better now. I'd never thought of the idea of men faking a relationship. I can see this because often men are focused on career ahead of family, have interests which are very all consuming such as sports and the marriage & family comes second to these other interests. Whereas women generally focus on family first and other interests come second. Plus men tend to pass off child rearing responsibility onto their wives.

I think one of the reasons women tend to be more interested in belonging to and attending church than men, is they see it as as reinforcing family and keeping men focussed on that as well.

[_Ray A]

I think one of the reasons women tend to be more interested in belonging to and attending church than men, is they see it as as reinforcing family and keeping men focussed on that as well.

I think that's very true, too. While some women like to delve into "intellectual" things, and question Church doctrine, I think most, from my observations, are really more interested in "family values". Whatever will keep the family together, and the marriage a faithful one, is more important than whether it's true or not. And if the effect works, and the desired result attained, "then it must be true".