Legal advice, please

[_skippy the dead]

Have you taken into consideration that your child support will likely skyrocket in the process?

I don't know what Utah's laws are, but it wouldn't make a difference in California.

[_Jersey Girl]

Have you taken into consideration that your child support will likely skyrocket in the process?

I don't know what Utah's laws are, but it wouldn't make a difference in California.

I don't understand what you mean by "it wouldn't make a difference", skippy.

[_Scottie]

Scottie,

I haven't read all of the replies here, just the first few posts. You want to wipe out maintenance for your ex and you also understand that child support will continue.

Have you taken into consideration that your child support will likely skyrocket in the process?

Why would it do that?

Child support and alimony are completely seperate.

[_skippy the dead]

Have you taken into consideration that your child support will likely skyrocket in the process?

I don't know what Utah's laws are, but it wouldn't make a difference in California.

I don't understand what you mean by "it wouldn't make a difference", skippy.

In California, child support is calculated by a formula that takes into account (among other things) the parties' combined income. Right now, Scottie's wife income is zero. If spousal support is terminated, her income is still zero. So child support will be generally based on the same gross number.

Plus, in California if a spouse has earning ability, but refuses to use it (even if it is $10/hr), then that can sometimes be considered, as well. In California, both parents have an obligation to support their children, so there is an expectation that they do so.

Bottom line: child support shouldn't skyrocket if spousal support is terminated. In fact, I never once drafted an order that included an increase in child support to take effect after a spousal support order terminated.

[_Jersey Girl]

Scottie,

I haven't read all of the replies here, just the first few posts. You want to wipe out maintenance for your ex and you also understand that child support will continue.

Have you taken into consideration that your child support will likely skyrocket in the process?

Why would it do that?

Child support and alimony are completely seperate.

Sorry, I didn't answer right away, I was poking my nose into something else. ;-)

Okay, cutting to the chase here and again, I haven't read all of the posts.

Is your child in childcare? If not, if your wife does get a better paying job would your child have to go to child care?

If so, would the cost of childcare raise the amount you pay in child support and have you weighed that out?

I don't know how old your child is but depending on age, it might not be the financial forward that you're looking for.

And I don't know why I'm double spacing again. It just happens....

[_Yoda]

What irks me is that she is doing NOTHING to become self sufficient. She's quite content making a couple hundred a week and using me for the rest. And that she wants me to use my hard-earned raise to increase her standard of living, and basically leaving me right where I was.

How did she find out that you got a raise?

If I was in your shoes, I think I'd start claiming every so often that your pay had been cut.

Well, we have a pretty good relationship, and in my excitement, I told her.

Like I said, I don't want to hurt her or the kids. I know she'll never make as much as me, or even close!

If you still have a pretty amicable relationship, couldn't you try seriously talking with her? Explain to her that you will always support the kids, and you are not saying that you will yank spousal support from her, but for her own well-being, maybe she should take a second look at career goals. Does she have any interest in going back to school?

Also...did she work while you were going to school? If she supported you while you were in school, then, frankly, I think that she should benefit from your raise. If she helped you build your future by working so you could go to school and gain marketable qualifications, and your job is a result of those skills, then, yes, I think she should also benefit.

This has nothing to do with what is legal and what is not. It's just what, in my mind, is right.

[_Scottie]

If you still have a pretty amicable relationship, couldn't you try seriously talking with her? Explain to her that you will always support the kids, and you are not saying that you will yank spousal support from her, but for her own well-being, maybe she should take a second look at career goals. Does she have any interest in going back to school?

Also...did she work while you were going to school? If she supported you while you were in school, then, frankly, I think that she should benefit from your raise. If she helped you build your future by working so you could go to school and gain marketable qualifications, and your job is a result of those skills, then, yes, I think she should also benefit.

This has nothing to do with what is legal and what is not. It's just what, in my mind, is right.

Well, like I said, I couldn't in good conscience take that away from her. I'm very big on doing what is right more than what is legal. It just seems like she takes whichever way works to her advantage. If she gets more money by me "doing what's right", then so be it. If not, then all of a sudden the law is all that matters.

And, no, I was finished with schooling when we met. We were both finished when we got married.

[_skippy the dead]

If you still have a pretty amicable relationship, couldn't you try seriously talking with her? Explain to her that you will always support the kids, and you are not saying that you will yank spousal support from her, but for her own well-being, maybe she should take a second look at career goals. Does she have any interest in going back to school?

Also...did she work while you were going to school? If she supported you while you were in school, then, frankly, I think that she should benefit from your raise. If she helped you build your future by working so you could go to school and gain marketable qualifications, and your job is a result of those skills, then, yes, I think she should also benefit.

This has nothing to do with what is legal and what is not. It's just what, in my mind, is right.

I agree that under the social contract of marriage, she entitled to the benefit of her sacrifices for the mutual good. BUT - it should not be open ended. She needs to establish her own skills and uphold her end of support for herself and her children. For a 9 year marriage, she should receive assistance (in the form of spousal support) for no more than 4.5 years, but by the end of that time, she needs to be working on self-sufficiency. Child support will provide her with the means to help provide for the kids, but she needs to shoulder the load too.

[_rcrocket]

What irks me is that she is doing NOTHING to become self sufficient. She's quite content making a couple hundred a week and using me for the rest. And that she wants me to use my hard-earned raise to increase her standard of living, and basically leaving me right where I was.

How did she find out that you got a raise?

If I was in your shoes, I think I'd start claiming every so often that your pay had been cut.

And thus we see the essence of Shade's integrity. Lie when it suits you, even to harm the mother of your children.

[_Dr. Shades]

And thus we see the essence of Shade's integrity. Lie when it suits you, even to harm the mother of your children.

He's not harming anyone. She signed the contract; he's merely defending what's rightfully his--his raise.

You wanna talk about who has integrity and who doesn't, then perhaps you can tell us why she's going back to court to get her paws on his raise.