A very big personal problem. advice please.

[_TygerFang]

Sorry if it's inappropriate to post this. Delete it if it is.

First off I'm just going to say that I came here to try and figure out what I believe concerning the church, and that was pretty much a search for something to 'jump start' my not-yet-pronounced dead testimony. Basically an explanation for the things that I saw wrong, both morally and logically with the church. There is no explanation, really I just don't see one. And I also saw a lot of different things that they don't teach in Sunday school. I took it all with a grain of salt, but I just can't believe in the church. I'll still be respectful to those that do, but I've basically made my choice.

Now that that's been said I want to confess something else. I am gay, and yeah I expect some comments on how I'm too young to know, or that it's just some sort of phase, or that I'm just confused/tempted. Hear me out first. I am not putting my hatred for the female and male stereotypes into this, and I am not considering my very different personality either. What I am considering is that I've never had any interest in any of the male persons of the world (not romantic that is). I truly cannot think of them as anything other than a friend, I've tried a lot. In fact my mom and my sister have been trying to set me up with a guy who is actually quite popular around school and very nice. He's also interested in me and has said so, and I don't know if it's sadder that I've been trying this hard to be interested in him or that even with all that effort I'm still not.

Another thing is that I do have interest in women. Even without having a person in mind I am attracted to woman, and not in men.... in case you're wondering I'm feeling like an idiot posting this, but seeing as this is basically what it means to be gay I should say that yes this applies to me also. I also used to feel like I was wrong or sinning when I've been hanging out with a friend of mine (female) and for ever since I've been friends with her I've been mentally telling myself that no I do not have a crush on her. despite the fact that I do (which really sucks because she's Mormon, straight, and would probably be really creeped out if she knew). I think it's safe to say that I'm gay.

I'm going to be telling the rest of my family tonight or tomorrow. My life's really going to suck :).

My mom is basically the head of the family, she's the more aggressive/dominate one anyways. And her belief is that being homosexual is an addiction that is sinful and a choice of those who are unfortunate to be tempted in that way. She's also the one who yells at me every Sunday when I don't go, or just simply don't show enthusiasm for going to church. She also yells at me for not spending enough time with the family, and whenever I don't go to young womens. Once she yells at me she usually tries to make me to do what I'm supposed to. I sound like I'm some kid who's just ranting about their annoying parents, but I really wish that were the case. I think she'll make this the funnest...

My sister is also worth mentioning because she sees 'visions' or whatever you wish to call them on a regular basis, and is probably the strongest believer I have ever met. Even counting my entire ward combined.

My family does care about me, but I really doubt this will be taken well. I considered not telling them, and I've been keeping it for a while. But I don't think that I can go to church, young womens, dates with different guys that I'm set up with, and pretend to like it. And I have been trying, I'm not that patient and not that flexible so this is basically my only way out. On top of that my sister is sick, has been her whole life and is going through a dangerous surgery next month. I want her to know the truth, even if she can't accept it or me, before she dies...

Why the hell am I telling you all this :) Because I have no idea how to tell them this and I just wanted to - 1. tell someone who won't get all angry and betrayed by it. and 2. get some serious advice from you guys (you are objective after all). Sorry if this is a lot to take in, or if I over-stepped some boundary by posting this especially since you don't know me that well.

[_T. H. Ghost]

Not much to say Tyger in real advice. Good luck telling your family and everyone else. Being gay isn't wrong, and you can tell them The Holy Ghost said so. It's not the end of the world. You're young and smart so the world is your oyster.

[_TygerFang]

I'm just not sure what to say other than, "yes I'm gay" and "mom, dad, please start breathing again"

[_T. H. Ghost]

I'm just not sure what to say other than, "yes I'm gay" and "mom, dad, please start breathing again"

How about, "You're my parents and I love you more than anything. I have something difficult to tell you but I feel I must be honest with you more than anything else. If you accept it, that's great. If you don't, well then we'll go from there. I'm...."

[_Yoda]

Is there a certain need to tell them? With the adverse reaction you're anticipating, is it something that they really need to know? How long do you have left in High School?

Once you're in college, and out on your own, you will be able to experiment as far as dating women as well as men, and decide what really appeals to you without feeling like someone is looking over your shoulder.

That is, unless your parents are insisting on you going to BYU for college.

[_Gazelam]

Tyger,

Your not gay. You shouldent even be considering dating yet. Are you even 16?

First, 20 years ago being gay would not even have been considered an option in your life. But media and sliding morality have forced this perversion into your view. Homosexuality is no different than people who have other fetishes. Just because this sickness of the mind has become popular does not make it right.

Your years away from even needing to consider a relationship choice anyway. Just set all that stuff aside for now and relax. Also, theres nothing wrong with appreciating the female form, women by their nature are beautiful, and having an appreciation for them does not mean your attracted to them.

What have you done to help strengthen your faith as opposed to looking for a way to tear it down?

Gaz

[_Gazelam]

Once you're in college, and out on your own, you will be able to experiment as far as dating women as well as men, and decide what really appeals to you without feeling like someone is looking over your shoulder.

What the Hell Liz !!!

[_TygerFang]

I'm being pushed to yes BYU ironically, and church and dating. Yes I am 16 and almost 17, and I think I should be able to worry about dating as much as straight teenagers my age. Oh and it's really not simply an appreciation for the female form I assure you.....

[_TygerFang]

sorry double post

Is there a certain need to tell them? With the adverse reaction you're anticipating, is it something that they really need to know? How long do you have left in High School?

Once you're in college, and out on your own, you will be able to experiment as far as dating women as well as men, and decide what really appeals to you without feeling like someone is looking over your shoulder.

That is, unless your parents are insisting on you going to BYU for college.

I'm sure I'm gay and yeah there is a need, as the days go by the pressure for church and dating is getting harder and stronger. Especially with a now large amount of yelling matches. I just want to tell them so they stop saying that I'm doing this because I'm lazy or just having too much temptation. Plus I want my sister to know. Just not sure how to tell people who are so against it without them second guessing me or just simply not accepting me. And I have 2 years left of high school.

[_Gazelam]

Tyger,

don't worry about your sister knowing or not. If she dies before you say it, she'll know from the other side. She wont be that far away.

And again, put all this stuff off for a few years. At least 4.

Gaz