A very big personal problem. advice please.

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_marg

Post by _marg »

Angus McAwesome wrote:At least wait until your 18, have moved out of mom and dad's house, and have means of supporting yourself independantly before hoisting the Jolly Susan and going to your parents to proclaim you're gay.


I agree with this. When you don't need your parent's support, then you are in a position of strength to be honest with them, until then it is doubtful it is going to be in your best interest to be honest with them if they are unaccepting of homosexuality and unaccepting of you having little interest in the church. You are likely going to create unnecessary hardships for yourself in your desire to be honest at this point in time.
_JonasS
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Post by _JonasS »

hmmm...
Last edited by Guest on Tue Jun 24, 2008 5:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"HOW DARE YOU KEEP US WAITING!!!!! I demand you post right this very instant or I'll... I'll... I'll hold my breath until I slump over and bang my head against the keyboard resulting in me posting something along the lines of "SR Wphgohbrfg76hou7wbn.xdf87e4iubnaelghe45auhnea4iunh eb9uih t4e9h eibn z"! "-- Angus McAwesome (Jul 21/08 11:51 pm)
_Paul Kemp
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Post by _Paul Kemp »

Anyone else offended by the "you're not gay" declarations?

Why would anyone say that? Absurd.

What I would do: Tell your parents. Get it over with.
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_Moniker
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Post by _Moniker »

Hey tyger,

It's tough being a teenager and it's a rather confusing time of life for lots of people. If you feel the need to talk to someone you may want to consider going to a school counselor and get a referral (or find a referral some other way) and then they can help you decide how, when, what to tell your parents -- and may even help you tell your parents if that's the best course of action. Good luck! :)
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Post by _JonasS »

Paul Kemp wrote:Anyone else offended by the "you're not gay" declarations?

Why would anyone say that? Absurd.

What I would do: Tell your parents. Get it over with.


Her parents are LDS, they'll have a fit. Also that's like me thinking I am a girl dude, I can show a lot of evidence that I might well be, but I am not gonna outright say it to my parents that I am when I don't even know for sure myself. Especially when other people might have had similar experiences and have learned that it is just a part of life that a lot of people go through when they are unsure about their sexuality. Gosh, my borthers have been through it, most people have. It takes time and there is little point making a statement about something that might turn out completely false in a few years time, and if she still feels the same then that is something that can be dealt with at the time, I am insisting, whether it gives you a bad opinion of me or not that it is too early to tell.

Sure one can express their concerns that they are worried they might be gay, but at a tender age of 16 having experienced very little of life solo and having not experienced sexual relations, how can one know for sure?

I understand completely because I have been there, as have most people. One can not help but worry the worst. And in a few years time after college and getting out there, if Tyger still feels the same way then the best option would be to try before she buys, test which is right for her. That is the only way she will know for sure, but she is still young and won't know for several years to come.
"HOW DARE YOU KEEP US WAITING!!!!! I demand you post right this very instant or I'll... I'll... I'll hold my breath until I slump over and bang my head against the keyboard resulting in me posting something along the lines of "SR Wphgohbrfg76hou7wbn.xdf87e4iubnaelghe45auhnea4iunh eb9uih t4e9h eibn z"! "-- Angus McAwesome (Jul 21/08 11:51 pm)
_Tarski
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Post by _Tarski »

Paul Kemp wrote:Anyone else offended by the "you're not gay" declarations?

Why would anyone say that? Absurd. .

Yes.

Hey Gazelem, your not straight! Take that!
when believers want to give their claims more weight, they dress these claims up in scientific terms. When believers want to belittle atheism or secular humanism, they call it a "religion". -Beastie

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_EAllusion
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Post by _EAllusion »

JonasS wrote: There is no genetic relationship with female gays in the same way there are with males. This is related to the y chromosome.


Where on earth did you get that? What about those famous finger length studies?

What you are doing is no different than if you tell a 16-17 year old who thinks they are straight that you doubt that and they should wait it out. What's going on here is really offensive if you don't grade on a curve for LDS posters. And yes, most people by the age of 16-17 are capable of being fairly certain about their sexual orientation. Not all mind you, but enough to make the notion that a 16 year old shouldn't say they are straight or gay a bit silly.
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Post by _Moniker »

I found this and thought it may be helpful:

http://health.mweb.co.za/sex/Gay_lesbia ... ,32565.asp

Again, good luck, tygerfang. :)
_JonasS
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Post by _JonasS »

Dara Newman, Bryn Mawr College wrote:Looking at the results of many of the other studies I have discussed, it seems a little strange to me that the student of homosexual siblings who were both male and female came up with similar result as the studies that looked exclusively at male homosexuality. Hamer's study, along with others, have tried to located a gene that influences female homosexuality, but they have been unsuccessful. More importantly, the region of the X chromosome that very possibly could influence male homosexuality does not influence females in the same way. Female heterosexuals merely pass the gene sequence on to their sons.


In my Biology lessons, I was taught that homosexuality was located on the x chromosome where color blindness and haemophobia are located, thus when the two x chromosomes in a girl come together, the other x chromosome masks that of the first, wheras in males this part of the second x chromosome is missing because it is a y chromosome and so there is no masking, if it is in the x chromosome then it will be dominand and show up on the charactoristics.

I agree that there is a possible chance that femails can have two dominant homosexual genes in this case providing it is present in both x chromosomes, but when looking at colour blindness and haemophobia, that majority of the very small number die before being born.

This suggests women are merely carriers.

Although there is still a lot to learn concerning the homosexuality gene and whether we have sufficient proof that it does exist.

I guess my view is that it is a little odd to be gay, but I do have gay friends and I love them to pieces. I have nothing against them.

But one must take into account the uneeded stress this can put on Tyger's family. She could lose everything. And how would she know if she isn't experiencing sexual relations with people. I am taking this view because I also have worried that I might be gay as have my mum when she was younger and my brothers also. None of my family are gay. Although my little brother is questionable ach he's to much of an ass to be geneticly gay.

I suggest wait it out, and see when you get older and are more experienced, if you still feel the same then that is great because then you because then you know, and you might be in a more suitable environment to come out with it.
"HOW DARE YOU KEEP US WAITING!!!!! I demand you post right this very instant or I'll... I'll... I'll hold my breath until I slump over and bang my head against the keyboard resulting in me posting something along the lines of "SR Wphgohbrfg76hou7wbn.xdf87e4iubnaelghe45auhnea4iunh eb9uih t4e9h eibn z"! "-- Angus McAwesome (Jul 21/08 11:51 pm)
_TygerFang
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Post by _TygerFang »

I just want to say thanks to all of you guys for actually being supportive and nice about this, and for giving your opinions. Also saying again that I'm sure I'm gay. My long beginning post was to try and put into words why I'm sure, but if that didn't work I'm just going to say that I am as sure that I'm gay as an average teenage girl is sure she's straight when she's praying for that guy she likes to ask her out. I understand if you don't think that's possible, but it still is the truth.

But Gaz, just to acknowledge your posts no matter how intolerant they seem, I tried everything to see the Mormon church as the truth and everlasting gospel. It doesn't work, I've given it the benifit of the doubt in just about all I can, but I'm really not the kind of person to go through my life continuing this just to stay the same as I was taught to be. I find a lot of things wrong, on a moral and a logical level, so how could I put all my faith into a religion like that. If you think that that makes me less of a person go ahead, but really I get the impression that you'd always think I needed to think it over more until I decided to side with you and the Mormon church.

And if you're not as homophobic as you appear then you should try not saying so many intolerant things. In my book being homophobic is on the same level as being sexist or racist, and it has about as much logic as they do.
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