Sometimes a mom has to be mean.

[_KimberlyAnn]

Chloe is mad at me.

She says I'm mean. I think I'm doing the right thing, but dang, it's not easy.

Chloe lost her spelling list and associated homework on Monday. She told me about it Tuesday. We looked around for the papers, but couldn't find them. I told her to ask her teacher for another copy of the assignment. She should have done it today--her spelling homework is due tomorrow.

I even put a sticky note on her lunch pail reminding her to ask. I wanted her to do it so that she could learn to be responsible. But, she forgot.

She arrived home from school frantic and begging me to call her teacher, pleading with me to go get her homework assignment. The school is less than a mile away, and her teacher actually lives in my neighborhood, but I refuse to comply with Chloe's wishes.

Chloe has a perfect spelling grade, but she will get a big fat ZERO on her spelling assignment this week. And, it's her fault. I want her to lean a lesson from this experience, but it's not easy. She's crying and miserable and I really WANT to go get that homework, but I'm typing this instead so that I won't cave in to Chloe's heart-tugging pleading.

Ugh.

Attempting to hold her ground,

KA

[_skippy the dead]

It's tough, isn't it?

I would do the same thing. I came close a couple weeks ago - my kid came home on Monday without her weekly homework packet. We were able to recreate the spelling homework from her pretest that she did bring home, so we worked on that, and read from her reading book.

I emailed her teacher to let her know that the kid didn't have the packet, but I left it up to my daughter to be sure to get it the next day. Fortunately, she did. As a "consequence" of sort, she actually ended up doing some of the spelling homework again using the form in the packet.

She hasn't forgotten it since.

I figure if my kid tells me I'm mean, I must be doing something kind of right.

Hold steady, girl!

[_Dr. Shades]

If the teacher lives in the neighborhood, why not have Chloe go ask the teacher for it?

[_silentkid]

I agree with your approach, KA. But here's one thing I don't agree with: Homework. How many hours do kids spend in school a day...7? It's amazing how much homework they are given now. I'm okay with a paper here and there and maybe a problem set to prepare for a test, but teachers that give lots of homework/busywork are evil. I think kids should be given time, while at school, to complete their assignments. If they can't complete it in that time, then they can take it home.

[_skippy the dead]

There are days I agree with you SilentKid - my 1st grader spends probably 30 minutes a day on homework, including the time we spend doing addition/subtraction flash cards and practicing her sight words. Although some days it can take up to an hour - like when we do a book report on Thursdays. Hell - she had homework in kindergarten!

It seems like kids should be kids after school. But I'll tell you - these first graders can do way more than most kids could do when I was that age. They can read well (usually in kindergarten) and write paragraphs on their own. It's pretty cool (of course, my kid's school is the best elementary in the county, so mileage may vary elsewhere). So I accept the homework burden as a generally good thing.

(It could be worse - my friend made up homework assignments for her kid to do EVERY DAY over the summer. I had my kid practice reading and writing occasionally, but otherwise let her have fun. You know - being a kid).

[_Bond James Bond]

Posts like these make me consider skipping all this growing up nonsense and adopting a full blown adult for my very own. Hey silentkid...will you call me daddy? ;)

[_KimberlyAnn]

I hung tough and didn't get Chloe's homework.

SK, spelling is the only homework Chloe has each week. It takes about an hour, and she has three evenings to complete it, so I'm not complaining. She had more homework last year in first grade!

Hopefully she won't forget her papers again.

Kimberly

[_Dr. Shades]

I hung tough and didn't get Chloe's homework.

That's all fine and dandy, but who said anything about you getting Chloe's homework?

Why didn't you have Chloe get Chloe's homework?

[_KimberlyAnn]

Shades, Chloe should have gotten her homework at school. She had the chance Tuesday and Wednesday, but forgot.

First, I don't think teachers should be bothered at home when students have opportunity aplenty to get their assignments at school.

Second, I wouldn't let Chloe walk or ride her bike that far from home by herself, even if I had no objection to her going to the teacher's home. The teacher is in the neighborhood, but several long blocks away. This is Oklahoma. We have yards. ;)

Chloe was crying when she got on the bus today. I still feel awful, but I do believe I did the right thing. In an effort to make her feel better, I promised we'd clean out a pumpkin tonight and attempt to roast some pumpkin seeds. Also, her teacher may accept late work, with a hefty penalty, of course. I told Chloe to ask about that option. Hopefully she remembers! (Or, bemembers, as Chlo says.)

KA

[_skippy the dead]

Shades, Chloe should have gotten her homework at school. She had the chance Tuesday and Wednesday, but forgot.

First, I don't think teachers should be bothered at home when students have opportunity aplenty to get their assignments at school.

I agree with you on this one. Not only should a teacher not be bothered at home by a student who had two chances to get homework at school, but there is also no reason to think that the teacher would even have the homework assignment on hand at home. It also kind of relates to the "Lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part."

It can be hard as a parent to watch a child experience such consequences to her actions, but I think it's a good and necessary part of raising good responsible kids.