Emo "Not Drug Free" Hand Turkey (photo for Skippy!)

[Guest]

Last year, in first grade, Chloe drew a "hand turkey" on a plain white sheet of paper. You know, one of these:

Her assignment was to go home and creatively decorate her turkey so that it could be displayed on her classroom wall for Thanksgiving.

Madeline volunteered to help Chloe with the turkey. I thought it was nice of her, but I should have known Maddie's involvement would spell trouble.

I didn't check the turkey before Chloe took it to school the next day. I didn't even think twice about it.

The next day, I got a call from the school counselor telling me I needed to come in to see Chloe's hand turkey. They had already pulled her out of class to talk with her about it and felt it was important enough to call me in for a little conference. Having no idea what was wrong with the hand turkey, I drove to the school with a million scenarios going through my head.

When the counselor showed me the hand turkey, I wasn't appalled. I laughed out loud! It was an Emo Turkey. Chloe and Madeline had drawn long legs on it, complete with combat boots. He was colored black, had black bangs that hung over his turkey eyes, was crying turkey tears, and had a wallet in his back pocket attached to his turkey pants with a chain.

He had a tattoo on his body that said, "NOT DRUG FREE."

I thought it was fantastic, but the counselor didn't think so. She was concerned about the drug implication and told me the turkey couldn't be hung on the wall and that I should talk with my first grader about the dangers of drugs.

I took Emo Turkey home and hung him on the fridge. I just got him out again this year. He's back in his place of honor just above the ice and water dispenser and still as "NOT DRUG FREE" as ever.

KA

[_Topher]

that's funny and I think that your totaly awesome , Not only for keeping the picture but putting it up again the next holiday... To punish a child for being only creative (not even close obscene) seems so wrong to me !

[_KimberlyAnn]

Here's Chloe's Emo Turkey (Masterminded by Madeline, who personally added the "Not Drug Free" label.):



Also, I find this sign of Chloe's hilarious. She made it when she was six:



Chloe puts that sign everywhere to mark her stuff. Last week, it was lying on the kitchen counter next to an already licked Blow-Pop with the wrapper haphazardly re-attached.

KA

[_cinepro]

Couldn't "not drug free" be referring to the quality of feed fed to the chickens?

[_skippy the dead]

Best freakin' hand turkey EVER!!!

Thanks, KA.

[_Scottie]

She's in first grade drawing this?? lol

[_Gazelam]

That story makes me cry

[_Angus McAwesome]

/wrist

[_KimberlyAnn]

Chloe's Emo Turkey looks a lot like a turkey vulture:



I'm pretty sure that bird is emo.

KA

[_Angus McAwesome]

Considering the turkey vulture is a carrion eater, it's much more likely that the bird would be into death metal and not emo. I mean, that bird likes to feast on dead and rotting flesh, so I kinda doubt it's going to be listening to songs about people getting all weepy because their girlfriend/boyfriend/LJ-MySpace friends dumped them.

If that bird had an iPod it's current play list would be Cannibal Corspe, Amon Amarth, Morbid Angel, Deicide, Brujera, Soylent Green, etc. I mean completely brutal crap about dead things and blood and death and stuff. It would not be listening to bands staffed by androgynous boys wearing to much mascara getting in touch with there feelings.