Trip Report: A Series of Unfortunate Smells

The Off-Topic forum for anything non-LDS related, such as sports or politics. Rated PG through PG-13.
Post Reply
_KimberlyAnn
_Emeritus
Posts: 3171
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 2:03 pm

Trip Report: A Series of Unfortunate Smells

Post by _KimberlyAnn »

We left for Texas, the girls and I, early Wednesday morning. I'd spent the night before cleaning up Annie's vomit. She seemed to have a virus, but felt better by the time everyone else awoke. I turned on the DVD player for them and off we went South down the Indian Nations Turnpike toward Big D.

Unfortunately, we passed by something large and dead on the highway, probably a deer, and it was really stinky. That may have set off Chloe's barfing spree, but it was coming anyway. Seems she had the same virus Annie had the day prior. Poor girl, she was really miserable. So was everyone else in the car. Thankfully, I had packed lots of small trash bags and no vomit actually got on the carpet or seats. We pulled over at almost every rest stop to throw out Chloe's used bags. Ugh.

We all piled out of the car at a large truck stop. It was large, but not large enough to contain all the cigarette smoke exhaled by it's patrons. I swear, the stuff was seeping out of the windows. The bathroom was odorous, as well. That's when Madeline declared, "This place is rank! Everything stinks. I'm calling this trip 'A Series of Unfortunate Smells!'"

We arrived in Dallas and went straight to Sonny Bryan's BBQ, which was great. And, it smelled good. Chloe didn't eat, but she didn't throw up again, either. I was so relieved.

Then it was time for Tut. We opted to rent headphones which would provide an audio tour for us. An employee giving an introduction to the exhibit said the voice on the headphones was that of Omar Sharif. Madeline asked, "Is that the crazy President of Iran?" Someone chuckled. I groaned, "No. Now hush and listen."

It was a fantastic exhibit. The older girls really enjoyed it, as did I. The two younger girls, Chloe and Anna, were a little restless by the end, but Annie perked up when she started noticing weenises everywhere. Egyptian hieroglyphics and statuaries are filled with depictions of weenises, which provided much amusement for Annie and much embarrassment for Chloe. They managed to keep their giggling fairly hushed, so everyone got stuff at the gift store. Way too much stuff. Goodness, I spent a small fortune, but we have alabaster cats, a miniature sarcophagus, Eye of Horus earrings, a small statue of a scribe, hieroglyphic refrigerator magnets, several books, Tut t-shirts, and Egyptian themed note pads. Woo-Hoo! Oh, and not one connection to Mormonism that I noticed.

The hotel was nice and we got a great night's sleep. We woke up early, ate omelettes and hash browns for breakfast, and met lots of other folks going to the Dallas Cowboys game. There was a park behind the hotel, so we played back there a bit then loaded the hotel van for transportation to the game. It was full of burly Cowboys fans. The kind with their faces painted silver and black. Women with Dallas Cowboys hair accessories. (And those Dallas gals have BIG hair! My flaccid hair made me feel out of place. I needed hair Viagra.)

We left for the stadium and Maddie (yeah, her again) piped up and said she'd never seen so many "Gentleman's Clubs" in her life! Then she added, "Those are strip clubs, in case y'all don't know. Ladies show their boobs and stuff!" Those wild Texans found her quite entertaining.

The stadium was nuts. Just packed. I was terrified I'd lose one of my kids. I wrote my cell phone number on Annie's arm with a black Sharpie. It took us half an hour to find our seats. We settled in, but as they are wont to do, my girls needed to go to the restroom. Seemed like we were back and forth to the bathroom and the snack counters all afternoon. Thankfully, we were seated next to a Seattle Seahawks fan, who teased my girls continuously, but who also kept buying me beer. At $7.50 a bottle, he was very generous. He and his companions were a blast and we enjoyed sitting next to them a lot.

After the game, we waited what seemed like forever for our hotel van. We were exhausted and hungry. On our way back to the hotel, we passed a Whataburger. As soon as we unloaded the hotel van, we got in my car and headed back for a hamburger. As we parked, Courtney gasped, "Oh, my God!" I looked across the parking lot to a liquor store. On the corner, talking to a man in a jeep, was a hooker. She was wearing what looked like a bathing suit bottom, a halter top and tall boots. I felt sorry for her and made the girls stop laughing. The prostitute got in the jeep and was gone. We went in to eat and I had to navigate the issue with my girls, which was something I'd rather not have done right then.

The next day we went to the Ft. Worth Stockyards to see a cattle drive and later stopped at a lovely Dallas mall, where I splurged on a Coach bag, something I swore I'd never do, and bought some jeans and blouses from Banana Republic. The girls got a few things as well, then we headed back home to Hokiemoma (as we call it). No barfing on the return trip, thankfully.

Our big Mormon family Thanksgiving (50 or so people) was Saturday, and I peeled and cooked 20 lbs of potatoes for that, plus made a few other things. After the trip and the cooking, I'm bushed.

Overall, it was a wonderful way to spend Thanksgiving and a change of pace that I really needed. They're lots of work, but I do enjoy my girls. Together we endured a series of unfortunate smells and still had a great time.

Image

Image

Image

KA

PS. I save, elsewhere, all the stories about my girls. Maybe some day they'll enjoy reading them. I'm sure I will.
_Dr. Shades
_Emeritus
Posts: 14117
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 9:07 pm

Re: Trip Report: A Series of Unfortunate Smells

Post by _Dr. Shades »

In that top photo, which one's Annie and which one's Chloe? I forget.
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"

--Louis Midgley
_ludwigm
_Emeritus
Posts: 10158
Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:07 am

Re: Trip Report: A Series of Unfortunate Smells

Post by _ludwigm »

And which one are You? . . . . . . . Image . . . . . :-)>
_Moniker
_Emeritus
Posts: 4004
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:53 pm

Re: Trip Report: A Series of Unfortunate Smells

Post by _Moniker »

I'm really glad you posted this, KA. I was enjoying the story and then just started to shake my head and it really put it into perspective, for me. I told you the other evening that I think you have a beautiful family and I wish you well. I was being sincere. You know why I liked the ex-Mos? I recognized what was occurring with them. I instinctively understood in some way that they had left a controlling environment and were forging a new path. I've defended the ex-Mormons on MAD (and here) and attempted to explain this. I understood how difficult and confusing that can be. The only real difference between me and all of you is that I did it when I was a very young woman and made terrible mistakes because I was not mature enough to make the correct decisions.

Here is my family and I hope you know that underneath it all we're not really all that different.



Please take care.
Last edited by Guest on Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
_KimberlyAnn
_Emeritus
Posts: 3171
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 2:03 pm

Re: Trip Report: A Series of Unfortunate Smells

Post by _KimberlyAnn »

Thanks, Moniker.

You have lovely children!

You take care, too.

I wish you every good thing.

Kimberly Ann
_KimberlyAnn
_Emeritus
Posts: 3171
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 2:03 pm

Re: Trip Report: A Series of Unfortunate Smells

Post by _KimberlyAnn »

Dr. Shades wrote:In that top photo, which one's Annie and which one's Chloe? I forget.


Sorry I missed your question, Dr. Shades.

Annie is the little one with the newly missing bottom tooth. Chloe is seated with the clapper in her hands. I was hoping she'd lose it after the game. She didn't.

KA
Post Reply