concerns & appreciations re LDS faith & community

[_Yoda]

Hi, loves2sing!

Welcome to the board!

It sounds like the Church has had a very positive influence on your daughter. I'm glad that she was able to get the help she needed.

I basically echo Harmony's comments.

And, for what it's worth, our family is LDS. I have 2 daughters, and they are both very serious about education. They actually watched me go back to school and get my Master's degree while working full-time, and understand the importance of education for job opportunities and growth. My oldest daughter is in a combined Bachelor's/Master's program in Education, and my younger daughter is interested in pursuing a career in Special Education.

So, yes, even though the Church does emphasize marriage and family, education can certainly be part of that combination that is emphasized at home.

I'm a voice teacher, so I HAVE to ask.....What type of music do you like to sing?

[_Dr. Shades]

Kimberly Ann, please share the cupcakes story. If you've already shared it on this board, a link to that posting would do just fine.

I simply can't do it justice; you'll have to hear it from her point of view.

You'll also have to have her tell the "Waiting for William" story. Again, she's the one who has to tell it.

Once you hear those two stories, you might change your mind about just how healthy it is for your daughter to be getting so immersed in Mormonthink.

[_KimberlyAnn]

Hi, Cynthia.

I'm just spent. It's been a very hectic day!

I have more to add than former posts, but additional comments will have to wait for another day.

Unfortunately, my Licked Cupcake post isn't fit for the Celestial forum. It contains a few dirty words I will link you to the discussion:

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=1449&hilit=on+licked+cupcakes

Also, I wrote a post called Waiting For William which may be of interest.

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=1763&p=36307&hilit=william#p36307

More to come later,

KA

[_loves2sing]

Wow, Kimberly Ann... You are a gifted writer.

Powerful stories. I want hold them in my heart for a while, especially what you wrote about waiting for your son...

[_loves2sing]

... the idea that Mormons are somehow more special, more holy, more blessed than the world at large. Even though, as a Mormon, you're taught to love others and care for them, there is a strong undercurrent in Mormon culture that the "gentiles" are less worthy and (perhaps) less intelligent.

Yes, I've sensed this.

In Gospel Principles class, I've asked some questions, and the members have been happy to discuss their answers. Twice, I shared something from my own life experience, and this was not so well-received. Very quickly a member chimed in with his or her own response to the person who spoke before me... It felt like I simply wasn't allowed to have any wisdom or insight, like only members can possibly have those things.

I think this "we're special, we're the best of all" and "we've got it right" are appealing to my daughter right now. She's building a new life for herself, after getting caught up in some pretty scary and painful things, and almost getting completely lost. I think she's attracted to the certainty, relieved to think she's "found it" and been accepted into it.

It's a big scary adolescent culture out there. I can't fault her for wanting to feel safe.

[_loves2sing]

And, for what it's worth, our family is LDS. I have 2 daughters, and they are both very serious about education. They actually watched me go back to school and get my Master's degree while working full-time, and understand the importance of education for job opportunities and growth. My oldest daughter is in a combined Bachelor's/Master's program in Education, and my younger daughter is interested in pursuing a career in Special Education.

Thanks, Liz.

You must be proud of your daughters.

I am living that right now, going back to school while working full-time... I teach juvenile offenders at my county juvenile hall, and I go to law school at night. I'm finishing up the 3rd year of a 4-year program, and hope to take the Bar Exam in July, 2010... Will probably end up working as a deputy public defender.

My daughter has watched me do this, in my mid-50's, and I understand she talks about it as if she's quite proud of me, even to her new LDS friends and their families.

P.S. I love to sing lots of songs. My favorites include swing standards, jazz vocals, old folk songs, some old rock, some country...

[_KimberlyAnn]

Wow, Kimberly Ann... You are a gifted writer.

Thank you very much, Cynthia!

Also, law school and a full-time job? I'm impressed! Your daughter has a good example to follow, as do Liz's and Harmony's.

When I saw your moniker, loves2sing, I thought first of Liz and how she'd be interested in you right away, and then I thought of my fourteen year old daughter, Courtney, who also loves to sing, more than anyone else I know. She sings and plays her piano at every chance.

I'm a proud momma, so I have to post a link to her little trio. They just got a "1" or excellent at State. The sound isn't that hot on the recording, but it has to do, I suppose. It's a short, simple, but lovely song called Veni Jesu (they're singing a capella here, but had an accompanist at contest):

http://s180.photobucket.com/albums/x144 ... t=Trio.flv

My daughter is in the center, singing soprano.

KA

PS. Tiktaalik, welcome! I agree with your post wholeheartedly.

[_loves2sing]

From my point of view, those who most successfully make the church work for them are those who don't take it too seriously. If you or your daughter dive beneath the surface, you'll find all sorts of stuff that is just bogus. But if you stay on the surface, where she is right now, she'll continue to find it useful in her life. Lots of fun activities, warm fuzzies, friendly people. Be aware, however, that should she leave the church behind at some point in her life, preferably after she graduates from high school and is able to cope with her impulses, she will likely leave all the friends she made while a member. Mormons find it difficult to be friends with former Mormons.

Thanks for this suggestion, Harmony. Staying on the surface is a good idea for me. I've already looked below, and seen clearly that I can't embrace the doctrines & beliefs.

Leaving the church behind after high school... I'd like that for her, I think, but the church tries to prevent it. There's a big push, here where we live, for teens to go to BYU and be part of the LDS-community there... and then move right into Mormon marriages, etc.

This is still a couple of years off for us; she's in 10th grade now.

[_loves2sing]

...Once you hear those two stories, you might change your mind about just how healthy it is for your daughter to be getting so immersed in Mormonthink.

Thanks, Dr. Shades. This is worthy of its own topic, I think.

[_moksha]

Looking around my neighborhood, those kids who took part in being a Mormons were able to avoid the pitfalls of bad life choices better than those who were non-mormon. This applied to those who later left the church or stayed in it. To me as a parent, it seems like having a reference group that was not into abusing drugs, boosting cars, being teen parents and generally staying on the good side of law enforcement is very worthwhile.

by the way, kids who were active in other Churches stayed out of trouble too.

Best wishes for your daughter.