I'm getting confused

[_Wayneman]

Shades, even though we don't, and maybe never will see eye-to-eye on matters of theology, I still consider you like a brother, and am so glad that we have reconnected, NOT because I'm going to try to re-convert you to the Mormon faith, but...

... just because I consider you a good man who is still on his personal quest for truth. Cheers, my old friend.

[_Dr. Shades]

Hello again Wayneman! I'm glad you returned to this topic.

Thanks for sharing the foundation behind your conclusions. I can now understand your point of view much better.

Shades, even though we don't, and maybe never will see eye-to-eye on matters of theology, I still consider you like a brother, and am so glad that we have reconnected, NOT because I'm going to try to re-convert you to the Mormon faith, but...

Thank you very much for that, and I very much agree likewise. NOT because I'm trying to DE-convert you from the Mormon faith, . . . :-)

Speaking of reconnecting, I finally gave Facebook.com a whirl. HOLY COW is that place a goldmine for old mission friends and acquaintances. There's a Japan Nagoya mission network; you ought to look into it.

... just because I consider you a good man who is still on his personal quest for truth. Cheers, my old friend.

Thanks for that. Coming from you, I really appreciate it.

[_RadioActive]

Hi,

A perfectly rational explanation exists for why you feel and think the way you do.

You're sixteen. You're someone in the middle of an ongoing process of discovering your parents are not infallible and you are forming your own opinion on things. It's fine and perfectly natural. I don't think I've encountered a member who honestly hasn't had doubts. Here's my advice for what it's worth:

I'm sure if my bishop saw what I'm about to say he's good apoplectic, but I'm pretty good at ignoring people who disagree with me. (No, I'm not apostate)

Everything you learn at church and Sunday school isn't, pardon the pun, gospel. What I mean is that just because someone at church says a thing in a church setting doesn't mean it's actually doctrine. Members are human, and humans make mistakes all the time. You need to filter the stuff that has to do with being a LATTER-DAY SAINT, like being kind to others, loving your fellow man, and living a Christ-like life from things having do with being a Mormon - that is doing your home teaching, attending every meeting, and playing basketball.

A lot of times the Mormon side of the equation gets emphasized more than the LATTER-DAY SAINT side. I recommend laughing about it and moving on because the alternative is you're going to become frustrated and angry with the religion for something that really has to do with people being... people.

[_Heresy]

I had doubts by your age and left soon after. It was 40 years ago and I had no one to talk to about it. There was no internet.

It's only been relatively recently that I've delved into the doctrine and history of the church I grew up in. From this perspective, what I have found is mind blowing. I can't understand how people actually accept what this church tells them. The whitewash is wearing thin for those who choose to look past it.

I've lived these last 40 years with the freedom to think and make my own decisions. I didn't use that freedom to break the WoWisdom or be promiscuous, I used it to design the life I wanted. I found a career that let me contribute my share to the household, I found a man I've loved well the whole time. We limited the number of kids so we could experience both parenthood and a great deal of the rest of what the world has to offer. We didn't have to give up 10 percent of our income to a church that refused to tell us what they did with it, so we've been able to pick our own charities.

I wouldn't go back for anything. I'm facing the last part of my life with a deep satisfaction knowing I made the right choice for me. I used my brain instead of just doing what I was told.

There were difficult years with my birth family. I learned not to discuss it with them. It only caused hard feelings. I learned I didn't have to discuss it with them. My beliefs are my own property. In the end, we all came around and I have enjoyed a good relationship.

I hope your life works out as well as you go down the path to adulthood.

[_Wayneman]

RadioActive - you are COMPLETELY correct in what you've said, in my opinion.

Heresy, you said:

I found a career that let me contribute my share to the household, I found a man I've loved well the whole time. We limited the number of kids so we could experience both parenthood and a great deal of the rest of what the world has to offer.

Honestly, I am happy for you or anyone else for finding happiness in marriage and family, which is a difficult thing in all segments of society, including LDS.

However, the implication of what you are saying is, to me at least, that in the LDS church: 1) women cannot have careers, and 2) you are supposed to have a ton of kids.

If this is what you are saying, I am here to refute that.

My wife is a pediatric dentist, and I am a stay-at-home dad for the time being. When I go back to work (I'm a school teacher) my wife will continue to enjoy her career which she chose (I had nothing to do with it). We have had two kids during 16 years of marriage, and probably will not have any more.

And, we are members of the LDS church in good standing, meaning we hold current temple recommends and callings of no small responsibility. In fact, if you look at the bios of the members of the General Relief Society and General Primary Presidencies, you'll find that many of them have had, or do have careers.

In addition, it has always been our understanding as life-long members, that the amount of kids you have is between you and God, and a little bit of common sense. You do not bring more children into this world than you can financially, spiritually, physically, or emotionally handle, lest you screw them up.