Mormon Discussions and Covenants

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_just me
_Emeritus
Posts: 9070
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2010 9:46 pm

Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions

Post by _just me »

CaliforniaKid wrote:
Mormon Jesus wrote:27. Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their adiligence, and their enemies come upon them and bhinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings.


Dear Jesus,

When thou cutteth and pasteth from LDS.org, let not there be any footnotes in thy cuttings and thy pastings, lest ye be like unto Nephi, when he plagiarized the translation errors of the apostate Bible.

Thy humble servant,

-CaliforniaKid

P.S. Please do not smite me.


BWAHAHAHAHA!
~Those who benefit from the status quo always attribute inequities to the choices of the underdog.~Ann Crittenden
~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~
_Darth J
_Emeritus
Posts: 13392
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 12:16 am

Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions

Post by _Darth J »

CaliforniaKid wrote:
Mormon Jesus wrote:27. Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their adiligence, and their enemies come upon them and bhinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings.


Dear Jesus,

When thou cutteth and pasteth from LDS.org, let not there be any footnotes in thy cuttings and thy pastings, lest ye be like unto Nephi, when he plagiarized the translation errors of the apostate Bible.

Thy humble servant,

-CaliforniaKid

P.S. Please do not smite me.


CaliforniaKid is asking the wrong questions. The primary question should be whether this thread brings us closer to an understanding of the Mormon Jesus. While there may be some things about this thread that secular scholarship does not completely understand, we need to put these things on the shelf so we can focus on the right questions.

In furtherance of his agenda, CaliforniaKid also shows his lack of understanding of how revelation works. As these revelations have been received on the board, the transcriber probably recognized that certain things he was receiving were similar to the LDS edition of the Doctrine & Covenants, and so he just borrowed the language from those verses.

Putting on my apologist hat, I would say the evidence is essentially evenly balanced as to whether the posts from Mormon Jesus are actual revelations from Jesus Christ. And I think that's about where things are supposed to be.
_Cylon
_Emeritus
Posts: 416
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2012 9:08 am

Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions

Post by _Cylon »

Mormon Jesus wrote:46. Nevertheless, I, the Lord, am well pleased in the sound of mine own voice, and on this wise shall I speak all manner of superfluous things, and also that which is redundant, and there shall even be, unnecessary commas from time to time, and an abundance of prepositions, that ye may know that I, the Lord, am the Lord;

Yea, Lord, thou art verily a Lord of redundancy and of many unnecessary words, and now I know that I know nothing regarding the artful use of flowery verbiage, which thing I never had supposed.
_Big Red
_Emeritus
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2012 12:59 am

Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions

Post by _Big Red »

That last installment doth make my head spinneth and/or hurteth with pain as such to cause me to have a stupor of thought......
_Dr. Shades
_Emeritus
Posts: 14117
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 9:07 pm

Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions

Post by _Dr. Shades »

Mormon Jesus wrote:72. And again, verily I say unto you, let my servant Joseph be appointed, ordained, and anointed, as a moderator, for surely he should be entrusted with control over this board[.]

Thou sayest hard things against us, yea, even more than we can bear.
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"

--Louis Midgley
_dblagent007
_Emeritus
Posts: 1068
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 6:00 pm

Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions

Post by _dblagent007 »

This thread makes me feel stupid for having ever believed in Mormonism.

And it is some of the funniest stuff I have ever read.
_dblagent007
_Emeritus
Posts: 1068
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 6:00 pm

Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions

Post by _dblagent007 »

Darth J wrote:
CaliforniaKid wrote:Dear Jesus,

When thou cutteth and pasteth from LDS.org, let not there be any footnotes in thy cuttings and thy pastings, lest ye be like unto Nephi, when he plagiarized the translation errors of the apostate Bible.

Thy humble servant,

-CaliforniaKid

P.S. Please do not smite me.


CaliforniaKid is asking the wrong questions. The primary question should be whether this thread brings us closer to an understanding of the Mormon Jesus. While there may be some things about this thread that secular scholarship does not completely understand, we need to put these things on the shelf so we can focus on the right questions.

In furtherance of his agenda, CaliforniaKid also shows his lack of understanding of how revelation works. As these revelations have been received on the board, the transcriber probably recognized that certain things he was receiving were similar to the LDS edition of the Doctrine & Covenants, and so he just borrowed the language from those verses.

Putting on my apologist hat, I would say the evidence is essentially evenly balanced as to whether the posts from Mormon Jesus are actual revelations from Jesus Christ. And I think that's about where things are supposed to be.

This is good stuff.
_just me
_Emeritus
Posts: 9070
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2010 9:46 pm

Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions

Post by _just me »

HAHAHAHA! I so love this thread.
~Those who benefit from the status quo always attribute inequities to the choices of the underdog.~Ann Crittenden
~The Goddess is not separate from the world-She is the world and all things in it.~
_malkie
_Emeritus
Posts: 2663
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 11:03 pm

Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions

Post by _malkie »

CaliforniaKid wrote:
Mormon Jesus wrote:27. Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their adiligence, and their enemies come upon them and bhinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings.


Dear Jesus,

When thou cutteth and pasteth from LDS.org, let not there be any footnotes in thy cuttings and thy pastings, lest ye be like unto Nephi, when he plagiarized the translation errors of the apostate Bible.

Thy humble servant,

-CaliforniaKid

P.S. Please do not smite me.

Dear Lord, dost thou not know how to use the "Hide Footnotes" button which thy servants have dutifully put on every page of thy scriptures on LDS.org, in spite of knowing (for thou knowest everything, and tellest thy servants everything that thou doest) that nobody, even thee, knows what that button does, because it looks like plain text.

Try it: thou willst like it.

Image

And please tell thy cute little monkey with the mortar board that, on pain of everlasting punishment, mere mortal primates may not cut from the scriptures, only copy, lest plain and precious truths be lost again - and dost thou not hate when that happens?
Last edited by Guest on Mon Jul 30, 2012 4:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.
NOMinal member

Maksutov: "... if you give someone else the means to always push your buttons, you're lost."
_Stormy Waters

Re: A Warning to Mormon Discussions

Post by _Stormy Waters »

malkie wrote:Dear Lord, dost thou not know how to use the "Hide Footnotes" button which thy servants have dutifully put on every page of thy scriptures on LDS.org, in spite of knowing (for thou knowest everything, and tellest thy servants everything that thou doest) that nobody, even thee, knows what that button does, because it looks like plain text.

Try it: thou willst like it.


Goodness. I don't know how many times I've copied and pasted from LDS.org and then removed the footnotes one by one. How did I miss it?
:neutral:
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