PrickKicker wrote:Mr man GOD nickname ‘Elohiem’ and Mrs woman god were bored one eternity, so they decided to do what they always did throughout eternity and went intelligence gathering in the midst of space.
When they got home they were feeling creative so they made themselves some spirit children, using the intel they had just collected.
It was clear to him that some of those spirit children were made from more intelligence than others so he decided to put them ones in charge of the less intelligent ones.
Before long some were asking “Dad, How come we are just ghosts, why don’t we have a REAL bodies?”
So GOD says Ok, let’s have a competition anyone who takes part gets a REAL body.
Jehovah a.k.a. ‘Word,’ and Lucifer a.k.a. ‘Satan,’ you’re the oldest and cleverest, you decide the rules of the game and get all the others involved.
Jehovah said “Who wants to go to play the game of “LIFE” it’s a mixture of Eloheim hide and seek and Eloheim says?
here's the rules: At the beginning of the game, everyone has their memory of this life erased.
Elohiem picks one of each gender and gives the man a REAL body to start the game off, we’ll then anaesthetise him, cut him open take out one of his ribs and close it back up, form a woman from it.
At this point Satan pipes up and says hang on what is the point of that? Why not just create her like you created him?
Jehovah: Don’t question me; I’m more intelligent than you. I know why, but I am not going to tell anyone, my logic, my game, my rules.
Anyway, I’ll tell them they can eat from all the trees in the garden, but not the tree of knowledge of good and evil, I’ll also tell them to multiply like the birds and bees, but at the same time, they won’t be able to have babies till they eat from the tree. When they eventually know the difference between good and evil, do they’ll start to rapidly age and die.
Satan: Wait, wait, wait. That’s daft! You’re commanding them NOT to do something before they get the ability to understand the difference between DO and DO NOT? Then you’re going to punish them for it. They then have to incestuously copulate to bring the rest of us into the game? What planet are you on?
How are you going to get them to eat the fruit to start the game?
Jehovah: Easy, I’ll get a snake to talk them into it.
Satan: Ok, if Dad chooses your plan over mine, I will gladly be that snake, because it ain’t gonna to happen!
Jehovah: I’ll only tell the 1st man at the start of the game, the rules then as people join 1 by 1 they have to rely on what the people that have been playing before, tell them is true or not.
Anyone who gets fooled by someone else telling them what to do, in mine or Gods name can’t come back here to live with Dad, but has to live on the planet below this one, which is slightly darker and the ones who really mess up below that and the really bad ones below that and so on.
I am going to go down half way through and show everyone how easy it is to play a perfect game.
Satan: Yeah But, If you play the game by your own rules, you’ll have had your memory erased, how will you know the rules?
Jehovah: my game, my rules! I’ll get DAD to come down and mix his genes with one of the girls. Therefore I’ll be born part GOD and part human, no one will know my memory’s not entirely wiped.
Satan: What? You are going to cheat!
Satan: I’d hate to think what they’ll do to you, when they find out.
Enter GOD: Right what’s happening you two, have you told everyone the rules?
Satan: Yeah, about that… I’m just going to take my lot for a walk, because Jehovah’s game plan is MUCKED UP!!!
GOD: Right so you and your lot don’t get the reward of a REAL body, if you don’t take part.
Satan: Bothered?
I am out of here!
Who’s with me?
Quality.
“We look to not only the spiritual but also the temporal, and we believe that a person who is impoverished temporally cannot blossom spiritually.” Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!" Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
Thank You, spent all day on it after a passion filled debate yesterday after church with my father inlaw Who worked for the CES, Church education System of the LDS Church, he thinks I am stupid for not understanding the Plan Of Salvation. I also rewrote a plausible version, but I then became the Anti-Christ.
Last edited by Guest on Mon Aug 20, 2012 8:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
PrickKicker: I used to be a Narrow minded, short sighted, Lying, Racist, Homophobic, Pious, Moron. But they were all behavioral traits that I had learnt through Mormonism.
PrickKicker wrote:Thank You, spent all day on it after a passion filled debate yesterday after church with my father inlaw Who worked for the CES, Church education System of the LDS Church, he thinks I am for not understanding the Plan Of Salvation. I also rewrote a plausible version, but I then became the Anti-Christ.
I'm guessing your father in law knew Grant Palmer...
“We look to not only the spiritual but also the temporal, and we believe that a person who is impoverished temporally cannot blossom spiritually.” Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!" Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator
PrickKicker wrote:Thank You, spent all day on it after a passion filled debate yesterday after church with my father inlaw Who worked for the CES, Church education System of the LDS Church, he thinks I am stupid for not understanding the Plan Of Salvation. I also rewrote a plausible version, but I then became the Anti-Christ.
No you are a Thomas. You need to place your fingers in the wound of Jesus. I have no problem with people of little faith. Since faith is not working for you I am sure God has plans for you in some other path. God still loves you and wishes you well.
PrickKicker wrote:Thank You, spent all day on it after a passion filled debate yesterday after church with my father inlaw Who worked for the CES, Church education System of the LDS Church, he thinks I am stupid for not understanding the Plan Of Salvation. I also rewrote a plausible version, but I then became the Anti-Christ.
No you are a Thomas. You need to place your fingers in the wound of Jesus. I have no problem with people of little faith. Since faith is not working for you I am sure God has plans for you in some other path. God still loves you and wishes you well.
If Jesus appeared to me then yes. undeniable, indisputable.
But I have lost faith in Christianity / the Bible. its all a load of Useless words.
The only way the plan works is without all the things that make up Christianity.
No Holy Ghost No Christ No Devil No BS Bible
What am I left with???
ME, maybe God.
Agnostic bordering Atheism.
PrickKicker: I used to be a Narrow minded, short sighted, Lying, Racist, Homophobic, Pious, Moron. But they were all behavioral traits that I had learnt through Mormonism.
Frank, If I had an visitation and Jesus appered to me with his wounded side, and pierced hands and feet.... How would I know it was Jesus and not a pretender?
Even if he performed miracles that I could not begin to comprehend, how do I know it is the self same Jesus of the New Testament and not an alien, or some other deity (Exu for example) playing a joke?
How do you know Thomas was not deceived?
It is better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener at war.
Some of us, on the other hand, actually prefer a religion that includes some type of correlation with reality. ~Bill Hamblin
PrickKicker wrote:Thank You, spent all day on it after a passion filled debate yesterday after church with my father inlaw Who worked for the CES, Church education System of the LDS Church, he thinks I am stupid for not understanding the Plan Of Salvation. I also rewrote a plausible version, but I then became the Anti-Christ.
No you are a Thomas. You need to place your fingers in the wound of Jesus. I have no problem with people of little faith. Since faith is not working for you I am sure God has plans for you in some other path. God still loves you and wishes you well.
How do you know God isn't wrath with him? God, in the Old Testament seems to get wrathed with lots of people.
“We look to not only the spiritual but also the temporal, and we believe that a person who is impoverished temporally cannot blossom spiritually.” Keith McMullin - Counsellor in Presiding Bishopric
"One, two, three...let's go shopping!" Thomas S Monson - Prophet, Seer, Revelator