does resurrected Jesus have?

[_The Erotic Apologist]

Does the resurrected Jesus experience nocturnal emission?

[_just me]

Where is resurrected Jesus?

[_LittleNipper]

Where is resurrected Jesus?

He presently is in Heaven waiting to return to earth to rapture the living saints and reunite the dead saints with a new eternal body.

[_The Erotic Apologist]

He presently is in Heaven waiting to return to earth to rapture the living saints and reunite the dead saints with a new eternal body.

Will the new body have an umbilicus? If we don't have an umbilicus, we will not have a ligamentum venosum or a ligamentum teres. This will severely disrupt our hepatic anatomy and will send us straight to the Heavenly Emergency room!

So perhaps the new body is some sort of futuristic robot body, like the Terminator.

I shall have to consult the Sacred Scrolls on this matter.

M'narrah.

[_LittleNipper]

He presently is in Heaven waiting to return to earth to rapture the living saints and reunite the dead saints with a new eternal body.

Will the new body have an umbilicus? If we don't have an umbilicus, we will not have a ligamentum venosum or a ligamentum teres. This will severely disrupt our hepatic anatomy and will send us straight to the Heavenly Emergency room!

So perhaps the new body is some sort of futuristic robot body, like the Terminator.

I shall have to consult the Sacred Scrolls on this matter.

M'narrah.

There is no mention in the Bible on way or another; however, the new body should resemble that of the Lord Jesus Christ, but we should in some way resemble ourselves, though in a perfect body free from sin.

[_The Erotic Apologist]

There is no mention in the Bible on way or another; however, the new body should resemble that of the Lord Jesus Christ, but we should in some way resemble ourselves, though in a perfect body free from sin.

Ah, then that is where your so-called Bible falls short of the perfection of the Sacred Scrolls. For in the Second Iteration of the Tenth Sura we read:

Robot Hell is controlled by the Robot Devil. He is bound by the Fairness in Hell Act of 2275, allowing anyone who can defeat him in a fiddle contest with a solid gold fiddle to win their freedom, as well the golden fiddle itself. Should the individual lose the fiddle contest, they will only receive a smaller, silver fiddle and the Robot Devil may kill them at his discretion.

From this we may deduce that those who believe the Sacred Scrolls will be resurrected as Terminator-like robots, electroplated in chrome and shorn of karma.

M'narrah.

[_RockSlider]

Big question is does the Father have a belly button and foreskin?

[_The Erotic Apologist]

And is Jesus' DNA a combination of Joseph and Mary's DNA? Or a combination of Mary's and God's DNA?

This is why the question of whether Jesus experienced nocturnal emission is important, because his spermatozoa would tell us whether or not he is a robot.

[_The Erotic Apologist]

M'narrah.

[_son of Ishmael]

I agree with the belly button being absent if the resurrected Christ is a perfect being...this would also mean no foreskin and no penis at all...

Wait a minute! What?? No penis?? Sorry but I don't call that a "perfect being". My penis and I have become very good friends over the years so it is either both of us or niether of us. Outer darkness here I come.