Missionaries and Pressure in the Church

[_Albion]

I think you make a valid point. Regardless of the merits of teaching or not teaching the Mormon gospel I personally see great value in young people undergoing a period of disciplined service where perhaps the focus is off of self and onto others. I wonder, though, if there are any figures (unlikely) that would give an indication of the long term effects of bowing to peer and family pressure to go on a "mission". I wonder how many young people who might go for these reasons turn the experience into resentment and ultimately turn their backs on Mormonism as opposed to the number for whom the experience becomes a catalyst for lifetime commitment to Mormonism.

[_Koda Crest]

I think you make a valid point. Regardless of the merits of teaching or not teaching the Mormon gospel I personally see great value in young people undergoing a period of disciplined service where perhaps the focus is off of self and onto others. I wonder, though, if there are any figures (unlikely) that would give an indication of the long term effects of bowing to peer and family pressure to go on a "mission". I wonder how many young people who might go for these reasons turn the experience into resentment and ultimately turn their backs on Mormonism as opposed to the number for whom the experience becomes a catalyst for lifetime commitment to Mormonism.

I've wondered that myself. We had a few men return to the stake from missions in the last year, something like 5, and three of them just stopped attending right after their welcome home talk and fireside. I often debate if their two years of isolation ultimately caused it, as if they are just overwhelmed and finished by the church. But I doubt you will ever find a psychological study done on the effects. That seems the sort of thing the church would cover up quickly and efficiently. I wouldn't support it, but I couldn't blame them, how many potential missionaries would they lose if it was overall negative?

[_Bhodi]

Having served a mission and if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't do it. It is very political and the policies of the Church are very frustrating. I really don't think anyone should go on a mission at 18 or 19 years old. They should seek an education or a trade first. After they have established themselves as a working adult and IF they feel the need to serve in their community, I think the Church should support them in a two year mission to help and serve in the community in which they live. That would do more to promote Mormonism (and living a Christ-like life of service) than anything that is going on today.

I never went, and I have always regretted it. I strongly disagree that anyone should really be doing anything close to developing a profession at 18 or 19, because at that age who really knows what is going on in their lives. I am a strong proponent of Missions as a way to focus a life, to develop a little maturity. My only criticism is on the focus of most missions is baptisms, instead of service.

When I was a Ward Mission Leader I flat out told the missionaries I could not care less how many people they baptized, but I was very concerned with how many people benefited from their involvement in their lives. If they taught someone, and they gave up smoking then I think they did something positive. If they taught someone who gained more appreciation for their own relationship with God, started saying their prayers, started trying to live the Gospel in their own way, but never joined the Church, they were doing a good job.

As long as they are out there helping, I can think of no better use of an 18-21 year olds time, since they have so much to learn about life. Some time being poor, living on the welfare of others, trying to help people…highly recommended, from my point of view.

I would also say the same about military service, with respect to keeping youth out of trouble and busy.

[_RockSlider]

I've wondered that myself. We had a few men return to the stake from missions in the last year, something like 5, and three of them just stopped attending right after their welcome home talk and fireside.

1. Hello, I'm Elder SoAndSo can we meet with you say next Monday to talk about Mormonism?
2. Stanger - sure --- Stranger goes home and surfs the Net for Mormonism.
3. Monday comes along and Stranger has some very hard questions, which these young men have no clue about.
4. rinse and repeat for 2 years
4.a. Missionary gets online (despite rules) and also starts to learn
5. Missionary returns and "less active" quickly follows

[_Bhodi]

I've wondered that myself. We had a few men return to the stake from missions in the last year, something like 5, and three of them just stopped attending right after their welcome home talk and fireside.

1. Hello, I'm Elder SoAndSo can we meet with you say next Monday to talk about Mormonism?
2. Stanger - sure --- Stranger goes home and surfs the Net for Mormonism.
3. Monday comes along and Stranger has some very hard questions, which these young men have no clue about.
4. rinse and repeat for 2 years
4.a. Missionary gets online (despite rules) and also starts to learn
5. Missionary returns and "less active" quickly follows

I think the problem is not in the above, but in the fact that we do not provide what some RM's need on returning. I've done some retreats from time to time, and it is difficult to come off an experience like that. I do not think we can simply ask someone to pick up their life where they left off, it is too difficult in some instances. Just a possibility.

[_Dr. Shades]

I've done some retreats from time to time, . . .

When you say you've done "retreats," can you be more specific? What did they entail?

[_Bhodi]

I've done some retreats from time to time, . . .

When you say you've done "retreats," can you be more specific? What did they entail?

Just a few sesshins here and there. I would personally like to do a month long retreat, but I simply do not have the time.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sesshin

[_ldsfaqs]

Koda Crest..... Just because some young men who go on missions, as well as parents clearly aren't living the principles the Church teaches compared to most, doesn't mean this is a "church" problem.

What you described is "dysfunctional" and NOT the standards of the Church nor most of it's members.

[_Koda Crest]

Koda Crest..... Just because some young men who go on missions, as well as parents clearly aren't living the principles the Church teaches compared to most, doesn't mean this is a "church" problem.

What you described is "dysfunctional" and NOT the standards of the Church nor most of it's members.

Let's begin by clearing up something you seem to have misinterpreted: The idea that I said the church is the problem. The entire church is not the problem, in fact, I am not talking about the entire church. the problem is that there is just too heavy a pressure on men to drop everything in their lives in the society of the church. There is nothing okay about pressuring a young man his entire life to leave his family for two years and isolate himself from the world. I'm relatively positive that most psychologists and doctors seriously worry about people who isolate themselves from the world.

Also, depression is not equivalent to dysfunction. Just because someone responds badly to their child leaving, does not mean they are dysfunctional. This family was effected just as much as many other families, and I believe the last straw to their ability to cope was their youngest son leaving them. Sometimes you can't chalk everything up to not living up to the "principles" of the church.

On the other hand, some missionaries do achieve wonderful things, and I give them congratulations on that note.

[_Koda Crest]

I think the problem is not in the above, but in the fact that we do not provide what some RM's need on returning. I've done some retreats from time to time, and it is difficult to come off an experience like that. I do not think we can simply ask someone to pick up their life where they left off, it is too difficult in some instances. Just a possibility.

I believe you are right Bhodi. I also think missionaries in the field aren't given what they need in relation to the inevitable home sickness they will feel. Some missionaries go through the same things I am: Separation Anxiety that effects the health. And they just don't get a lot of help. I mean, yes, there are psychological "professionals" helping the ones who seek help, but what if a missionary just needs to call his mother and father? Not a chance that is happening.

I've heard stories (that I believe because I've heard the same things aimed at me) about other Elders bullying new to the area missionaries who are missing home and suffering from that anxiety. The new missionaries don't eat, and when they do they just feel sick. An RM friend of mine said he didn't eat and manage hold anything down throughout his first year. He detailed having been feeling supremely sad and panic ridden about the idea he wouldn't see his family or girlfriend, and when his companion noticed, told him he was being crazy. This man was already dealing with serious mental strains, and then his companion (and apparently most elders in his district) scolded him daily for not feeling up to the challenge of a mission, told him he was beginning to look crazy because he couldn't eat.

Anxiety can develop into depression, and then if it gets terribly bad, end up causing mental damages that are impossible to get rid of. Depression itself is common among missionaries, but anxiety is probably just as bad, but probably less reported. And how do you resume life where it left off when you have just spent two years fighting yourself?