Calling Thayne, Can I Help With NOM?

[_mentalgymnast]

mg,

If you can't actively ignore the folks you don't want to interact with use the ignore feature.

I know about that feature. I'm chiming in again to simply point out that this place isn't friendly towards certain types of NOM's.

That's all.

Regards,
MG

[_Jersey Girl]

mg,

If you can't actively ignore the folks you don't want to interact with use the ignore feature.

I know about that feature. I'm chiming in again to simply point out that this place isn't friendly towards certain types of NOM's.

That's all.

Regards,
MG

What do you mean "this place"? There are tons of posters here who are capable of batting stuff around without what you perceive as hostility. Just don't answer the ones you feel are hostile.

You continue to "chime in" with complaints almost every time I see you start posting here. What are you doing to proactively change your situation?

Nothing, buddy.

[_Lemmie]

mg,

If you can't actively ignore the folks you don't want to interact with use the ignore feature.

I know about that feature. I'm chiming in again to simply point out that this place isn't friendly towards certain types of NOM's.

That's all.

Regards,
MG

and did you see the posters who chimed in after you said that the first 3 or 4 times?

Most of us who've migrated over here wouldn't be considered fragile bunnies or middle way seekers.

your opinion is noted, mentalg, and your mis-use of this topic in order to push your whiny agenda is especially noted. Now that you've told everyone multiple times what meanies people here are, I'm more interested in hearing from other NOM posters.

[_Jersey Girl]

Again, I think that this forum...the way that it is now...is somewhat inhospitable towards many NOM's. Some of the hardcore disbelievers that would come here from NOM are going to fall right into line, but the softcore/questioning types would find this place unattractive and/or very uncomfortable.

Regards,
MG

The way it is now? You'll forgive me, but as one who has been here since the board's inception, I feel compelled to correct you on this.

This board has always had it's challengers. In varying degrees, I have been one of them and of course, I will be again.

The part you are missing (take your blinders off) is that from day one, this board has also always offered support to it's posters.

Believe me, if you or anyone else here, announced a serious event in your life or a strong need, the posters on this board would come out in droves to support you, both on the board in full public view and behind the scenes. And I would be one of those as well.

Stop trying to fit this entire collection of independents into a box, based on your one-sided experience that regularly finds you complaining without doing anything to solve the problems you encounter here. You can only cry wolf so many times before people decide that you are non-serious.

In other words, stop talking about it and DO something about it.

[_candygal]

Most of us who've migrated over here wouldn't be considered fragile bunnies or middle way seekers. We are simply married to Mormons who have no interest in checking the church's diaper for poo poo even when it's obvious the pampers are full and the moisture absorbing gelatin is starting to get all over the place.

ah, that takes me back!!!! The first day I attended church after my first baby was born, my husband was made a part of the bishopric. After 3 hours of meetings, and then another meeting for his calling, my barely 3 week old (because yes, you obey and go to church with a newborn when your husband is getting a calling from the stake president) objected and projectile-vomited on an eight foot long table, splashing every single priesthood holder's suit jacket, from one end to the other. The stake president was gracious, but I caught holy heck on the way home from my ass of a soon-to-be-ex-husband, wanting to know why I couldn't 'control' my baby in 'the most important meeting of his life.'

So yes, NOMmers, I can relate. You're definitely not the fragile bunnies mentalgymnast has apparently pegged you as. Welcome.

OMG...seriously...?? Your ex said that???

[_Lemmie]

Most of us who've migrated over here wouldn't be considered fragile bunnies or middle way seekers. We are simply married to Mormons who have no interest in checking the church's diaper for poo poo even when it's obvious the pampers are full and the moisture absorbing gelatin is starting to get all over the place.

ah, that takes me back!!!! The first day I attended church after my first baby was born, my husband was made a part of the bishopric. After 3 hours of meetings, and then another meeting for his calling, my barely 3 week old (because yes, you obey and go to church with a newborn when your husband is getting a calling from the stake president) objected and projectile-vomited on an eight foot long table, splashing every single priesthood holder's suit jacket, from one end to the other. The stake president was gracious, but I caught holy heck on the way home from my ass of a soon-to-be-ex-husband, wanting to know why I couldn't 'control' my baby in 'the most important meeting of his life.'

So yes, NOMmers, I can relate. You're definitely not the fragile bunnies mentalgymnast has apparently pegged you as. Welcome.

OMG...seriously...?? Your ex said that???

Yes. Hence, the soon-to-be-ex- part!! it was a shock to me to find my entire contribution was reduced to the Mormon stereotypical expectations of a gender. This is just one reason why the 6 month date-get engaged-marry sequence at BYU is so dangerous.

[_Quasimodo]

your opinion is noted, mentalg, and your mis-use of this topic in order to push your whiny agenda is especially noted. Now that you've told everyone multiple times what meanies people here are, I'm more interested in hearing from other NOM posters.

MG seems to be strangely vested in convincing NOMs not to come here. What do you suppose he is really worried about? Why would he care about members of a group that he says himself that he left years ago?

ETA: He must think we are a bad influence.

[_Red Ryder]

your opinion is noted, mentalg, and your mis-use of this topic in order to push your whiny agenda is especially noted. Now that you've told everyone multiple times what meanies people here are, I'm more interested in hearing from other NOM posters.

MG seems to be strangely vested in convincing NOMs not to come here. What do you suppose he is really worried about? Why would he care about members of a group that he says himself that he left years ago?

ETA: He must think we are a bad influence.

I get his point (the 4 times he's made it) but not sure what he's worried about. Soft landings aren't always necessary. It seems most people can navigate out without needing emotional support from internet strangers. I cut my teeth at RFM and thrived on the anger found there. It was the first time I could actually say what I was thinking without fear of rejection or looks of disdain. I made my peace with the church while maintaining some form of sanity and felt comfortable with my low level of participation. Then we moved and I lost the shallow relationships that accommodate 3 hours of church attendance and was suddenly made the ward project in the new ward. That's when I found the emotional support at NOM that doesn't exist in forums like reddit or RFM. MDB has always had more of an intellectual debate feel to it sprinkled with Tapir Dan donuts and Dr. Scratch sightings. Perhaps MG is merely pointing out the intangible differences. Point taken (x 4).

I think NOMs get a bad wrap from the traditional label that implies seeking the middle way. Healthy discussions with banter lift everyone and make discussion boards more lively. Thanks for the Welcome!

[_Red Ryder]

Lemmie, how long were you married? Was the divorce mainly due to church differences?

I'm curiously interested in the divorce stories. We started marriage therapy recently and I'm finding the process to be slow, confusing, and have determined there isn't a guaranteed outcome. I'm ok with the ambiguity, but the emotions of humanity make it exhausting. All of this turmoil because I stopped believing Joseph Smith was a prophet. Weird, eh?

[_Hagoth]

I think NOMs get a bad wrap from the traditional label that implies seeking the middle way. Healthy discussions with banter lift everyone and make discussion boards more lively.

Yes. I think the difference is that NOM was intended as more of a support group, although it has seen it share of interesting debate.

Most NOMs have moved beyond expecting any kind of true middle way. They just want a way. TBMs characterize NOMs as weaklings who can't follow the straight and narrow path. ExMos characterize them as weaklings who don't have the balls to walk away. NOMs see themselves as people who have been dumped into a faith system that no longer works for them but are convinced they can grow their relationships into something that has value outside of religious expectations, and are often fairly successful in doing so.