The DoubtingThomas dating / relationships MEGATHREAD

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_DoubtingThomas
_Emeritus
Posts: 4551
Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2016 7:04 am

Re: Go to a bar?

Post by _DoubtingThomas »

Doctor Steuss wrote:You never really know where love will find you. My wife met me on Facebook. I met my previous girlfriend at PetSmart (she trained my puppers), before that at a friend's work function he invited me to, before that a gal I met at a free improv thing.

The most successful relationships I've had (in particular, with my wife), I entered into them not looking for romance, but looking for friendship. When I started spending time with my wife, I had absolutely no intention of dating. I just knew that she was someone I wanted in my life because of the type of person she was. I invited her, and our son out for breakfast, and a few weeks later, much to my surprise and delight, we were dating.


Honestly I am not looking for a long-term relationship, at least not right now. But I don't want to go to bars or Tinder. I like to be safe.
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_Doctor CamNC4Me
_Emeritus
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Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2009 11:02 am

Re: Go to a bar?

Post by _Doctor CamNC4Me »

DT,

What is it about yourself that you think a beautiful woman would commit her time, and potentially reproductive resources, on you?

A hot chick typically has, I dunno, an endless sea of garbage to sift through line of dudes willing to bust their asses for her. Whattya got?

- Doc
In the face of madness, rationality has no power - Xiao Wang, US historiographer, 2287 AD.

Every record...falsified, every book rewritten...every statue...has been renamed or torn down, every date...altered...the process is continuing...minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Ideology is always right.
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_Chap
_Emeritus
Posts: 14190
Joined: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:23 am

Re: Go to a bar?

Post by _Chap »

DoubtingThomas wrote:But I don't want to [use] . .. Tinder. I like to be safe.


Used intelligently, Tinder is perfectly safe.

You find someone who also finds you interesting.

You chat anonymously for as long as you both want to.

Than, if you both want to, you can meet in a safe public place somewhere, and neither of you is obliged to reveal personal details until you both want to. If you do not like the meeting, then that can be the end of it.

Of course, not all young women using Tinder will feel OK about being treated as potential serial killers or blackmailers. But, hey, you wouldn't want to meet someone too different from yourself, would you? Also, you have to actually succeed in convincing the person in question that it would be really nice to meet you. As DrC indicates, you may need to work on that.

DISCLAIMER: I have never used Tinder myself. But I am on good terms with a group of people aged from 20-30 who have met nice friends that way, two of whom I have met on social terms. They both looked quite normal, and were even actively pleasant.
Zadok:
I did not have a faith crisis. I discovered that the Church was having a truth crisis.
Maksutov:
That's the problem with this supernatural stuff, it doesn't really solve anything. It's a placeholder for ignorance.
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_honorentheos
_Emeritus
Posts: 11104
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:17 am

Re: Go to a bar?

Post by _honorentheos »

DoubtingThomas wrote:For me Honorentheos is just a troll.

For you when you post on the topic of the fairer gender, I am. :wink:
The world is always full of the sound of waves..but who knows the heart of the sea, a hundred feet down? Who knows it's depth?
~ Eiji Yoshikawa
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_honorentheos
_Emeritus
Posts: 11104
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:17 am

Re: Go to a bar?

Post by _honorentheos »

DoubtingThomas wrote:...there is a lot of truth to "Nice Guys Finish Last".

No, it's not. Not at all. Dull, unattractive, uninteresting, unemployed, overbearing guys finish last. Being a "nice guy" is probably a misunderstanding as it more likely refers to treating someone differently than you would any other person with whom you are friends. Doing that isn't being a nice guy. It's being weird.
The world is always full of the sound of waves..but who knows the heart of the sea, a hundred feet down? Who knows it's depth?
~ Eiji Yoshikawa
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_subgenius
_Emeritus
Posts: 13326
Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2011 12:50 pm

Re: Go to a bar?

Post by _subgenius »

DoubtingThomas wrote:I am a nice guy, but there is a lot of truth to "Nice Guys Finish Last". I don't have a lot of friends (that is why I usually come here), but I guess I simply need to find friends first (some how).

A bar is usually the place to go with friends, so it is a challenge for me.

1. "nice guys finish last" is a myth.
2. If you don't have lots of friends maybe you're not a nice guy? maybe just an awkward guy... being harmless is not always the same as being nice.
3. don't "find", instead be "found".
Seek freedom and become captive of your desires...seek discipline and find your liberty
I can tell if a person is judgmental just by looking at them
what is chaos to the fly is normal to the spider - morticia addams
If you're not upsetting idiots, you might be an idiot. - Ted Nugent
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_Dr. Shades
_Emeritus
Posts: 14117
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 9:07 pm

Re: Go to a bar?

Post by _Dr. Shades »

DoubtingThomas wrote:How can a man working more than 40 hours a week meet women (pretty and not overweight) other than going to a bar?

Yeah, because God forbid you meet a woman who isn't pretty or is overweight.
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"

--Louis Midgley
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_Xenophon
_Emeritus
Posts: 1823
Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2016 7:50 pm

Re: Go to a bar?

Post by _Xenophon »

honorentheos wrote:No, it's not. Not at all. Dull, unattractive, uninteresting, unemployed, overbearing guys finish last. Being a "nice guy" is probably a misunderstanding as it more likely refers to treating someone differently than you would any other person with whom you are friends. Doing that isn't being a nice guy. It's being weird.

All that I can think of when I hear "nice guy":
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"If you consider what are called the virtues in mankind, you will find their growth is assisted by education and cultivation." -Xenophon of Athens
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_Markk
_Emeritus
Posts: 4745
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 4:04 am

Re: Go to a bar?

Post by _Markk »

DoubtingThomas wrote:How can a man working more than 40 hours a week meet women (pretty and not overweight) other than going to a bar?

Dr. Shades wrote:Yeah, because God forbid you meet a woman who isn't pretty or is overweight.


Everyone join in for some shallow Christmas cheer... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI02MYwwUzM
Don't take life so seriously in that " sooner or later we are just old men in funny clothes" "Tom 'T-Bone' Wolk"
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_honorentheos
_Emeritus
Posts: 11104
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:17 am

Re: Go to a bar?

Post by _honorentheos »

Xenophon wrote:All that I can think of when I hear "nice guy":
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:eek:
The world is always full of the sound of waves..but who knows the heart of the sea, a hundred feet down? Who knows it's depth?
~ Eiji Yoshikawa
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