Guns in heaven

[_Maksutov]

We love guns, right? We couldn't have entertainment or modern masculinity or militia dreams without guns. And lots of gods in embryo love guns. So why should they leave their guns on earth, right?



Just think, all these dudes who have to be content now with a new bump stock can look forward to the day when they pull the trigger on their own DeathStar against the Rebel Korihor Alliance in a galaxy far, far away.

[_Maksutov]

I just checked with a NRA guy who told me that wherever there are guns *is* heaven.

If only all doctrinal questions were so easy.

[_Philo Sofee]

I just checked with a NRA guy who told me that wherever there are guns *is* heaven.

If only all doctrinal questions were so easy.

Nope, there are only swords, according to the scriptures...... DRATS!

[_moksha]

I imagine this issue has been discussed repeatedly in the Elder's Quorum meetings of Central and Southern Utah.

If I may be permitted to channel some of their findings:

1. Firearms shall be kept in case there is an uprising from the Telestial Kingdom or Outer Darkness.

2. Planetary armaments are needed in case some of those New Order Gods try to institute a planetary tax system on the sovereign planets. In which case the battle cry shall be Sic Semper Mormanis!

Hope that helps.

[_honorentheos]

Guns are so primitive. Gods use much more sophisticated means of ego-inflation er, uh...self...defense?

Whatever it is, who needs to rely on a projectile thrower governed by the laws of physics lobbing a few grams of metal at high velocities when they can get much more satisfaction from, say, an earthquake. Nothing causes hilarious scare-face like hitting a beach with a tsunami. Or, for those really deserving evil people like children in lesser developed countries what's a gun compared to a good famine or cholera outbreak. Get bored with the current slew of plagues available? You're Mo-Fo'in' God! For all we know, AIDS came about because God was having a slow Thursday and wanted to spice things up.

Upon consideration, there is at least some consistency with wanting to be a God and masturbating one's ego via firearm proxy.

[_canpakes]

Nothing causes hilarious scare-face like hitting a beach with a tsunami.

Hey, sharknados come close.

[_MeDotOrg]

I just checked with a NRA guy who told me that wherever there are guns *is* heaven.

I guess Syria must be the happiest Kingdom on earth.

[_honorentheos]

Nothing causes hilarious scare-face like hitting a beach with a tsunami.

Hey, sharknados come close.

Good point. He DID supposedly once use a bear to kill some kids making fun of his prophet...so use of wildlife is also in the arsenal.