Lemmie wrote: The Utah Age of Consent is 18 years old.
I am currently not living in the state of Utah. But even if it is 18 years old it wouldn't matter. As I said I don't talk to 18 year girls. I can't. I am too shy in real life.
Jersey Girl wrote: If that's you signaling that you are in a state of depression and bordering on ideation of suicide (It's so depressive! My life has no meaning right now!), you need a therapist.
I am "okay" in the sense that I am not thinking about suicide. I think almost everyone in my situation would need a therapist. What many people do to feel better is to turn to religion, but I don't believe in god so religion can't help.
Jersey Girl wrote:And stop bolding phrases like "It is so depressive". It makes you appear to be raising the emotional stakes on this thread in order to sustain attention here. It is manipulative.
Of course I need at least some attention.
Jersey Girl wrote:If this guy is really in trouble, there is nothing any of us can do remotely to help him.
Just listen. Talking about your problems is a therapy. Have to go I can't reply.
Lemmie wrote:Just so I understand, in your quote above after Jersey Girl's comment, do you feel like you were directly responding to Jersey Girl's point? Or did you intend your comment to be something else?
So I got a second wind. Here is DT raising the same issues. I suggest therapy and he's thinking about it.
That was November 2017.
DoubtingThomas wrote:
Jersey Girl wrote: If you have difficulty with interpreting social cues (and that's not by any means, a given with an attention deficit disorder--I'd really like to know who diagnosed you) then you need someone who can mentor you who you can SEE and HEAR. That's not any of us.
I don't know how old you are, so bear with me here.
Why not try to develop a social network or group and go out with both male and females so you can experience and observe social interaction so there would be no pressure on anyone to pair off into couples? An example could be a mutual interest or hobbiest club. It could be a gym that has group classes or group sports.
I'm shooting in the dark over here. Bottom line is that I don't think there is anything we can really do to assist you with regard to social cues because we're not observable to you--and you aren't observable to us.
I mean the guys here can advice you as males, the females can advise you as females. But there is no real substitute for experience, DoubtingThomas, particularly when you can't see or hear us and none of us can help you learn what social boundaries are when we can't demonstrate the subtle nuances of unspoken language that is conveyed through gestures, facial expressions, body language, and voice tones.
If you're really serious about all of this then find a good therapist who can work with you on this.
I still want to know what kind of professional diagnosed you if you're willing to say. For example, if your teacher told your mother that you had ADD or ADHD (you've used both terms, they're not the same thing) that's NOT a diagnosis.
It was my 3rd grade teacher who first noticed and recommended a psychologist. I don't remember the name of the psychologist, it was a long time ago.
Yes, I am thinking about it, but thanks for the advice Jersey Girl.
So in this thread I am
1. Asking for advice 2. and I am trying to understand things that don't make sense to me. A lot of things don't make sense, as a former believer I am questioning everything now, including the death penalty which is a stupidity in my view.
So for a year and half he's been thinking about it. Still hasn't sought out a therapist. If I am not mistaken that's the same so-called discussion where I offered tips on how to clean out his car and he's probably still crawling through mountains of crap to get into the driver's seat.
There is no follow through here.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
DoubtingThomas wrote:Just listen. Talking about your problems is a therapy. Have to go I can't reply.
When you say "just listen" do you mean that in terms of active listening? Okay, fine. I can do that.
When you ask for advice and advice is given, and you fail to follow through for at least a year and a half, creating thread after thread without responding directly to what people are saying to you or taking steps to improve your situation, I think that you're non-serious, seeking attention and don't have a problem wasting other people's time.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
Perfume on my Mind wrote:Healthful intimate relationships are between people on equal footing, both emotionally and with respect to maturity.
Out of curiosity can you please give me some references? I will never date an 18 year old woman if you can prove that a guy in his 20s can't have a healthy relationship with an 18 year old.
Last edited by Guest on Fri Jun 21, 2019 9:27 pm, edited 4 times in total.
Jersey Girl wrote:When you say "just listen" do you mean that in terms of active listening? Okay, fine. I can do that.
Thank you.
Jersey Girl wrote:When you ask for advice and advice is given, and you fail to follow through for at least a year and a half, creating thread after thread without responding directly to what people are saying to you or taking steps to improve your situation, I think that you're non-serious, seeking attention and don't have a problem wasting other people's time.
Is it not that easy Jersey Girl. A therapist won't necessarily fix my problems or improve my life. There is no such thing as magic. But I will go see a therapist when I can.
DT wrote:A therapist won't necessarily fix my problems or improve my life. There is no such thing as magic.
Therapy isn't magic.
Jersey Girl, toDT, wrote:....creating thread after thread without responding directly to what people are saying to you or taking steps to improve your situation, I think that you're non-serious, [and] seeking attention...
I do want to see a therapist to see if he can help me feel better.
Perfume on my Mind wrote:Healthful intimate relationships are between people on equal footing, both emotionally and with respect to maturity.
Do you have some references to back up your claim that an 18 year old woman cannot have a healthy relationship with a guy in his 20s?
According to some studies 16 year olds should be allowed to vote. If a 16 year is old enough to vote, then I think an 18 year old is old enough to be in a relationship with an older man.
"Finally, the authors critically examine claims that adolescents are neither neurologically nor socially mature enough to vote responsibly and conclude that empirical evidence and fairness suggest that 16- and 17-year-olds ought to be awarded the vote."
Therapy isn't magic.