12 percent of people report having no friends

[doubtingthomas]

I was invited to an ex-Mormon Halloween party in Utah, but I couldn't go because I don't live in Utah and I don't have the time to travel right now.

[Res Ipsa]

That's an interesting way of describing loneliness. For me, it was not recognizing the connections I had with the people I was with. I think mine was driven strongly by depression. Depression is a liar. Among the things it lied to me about was that no one could understand what I was feeling. The result was that I literally couldn't see the connections that I had or understand that my experience was much more common than my depression was telling me.

It is very common. I hope you are much better now.

Was that long ago?

Two different times. One was when I left my mission. I always thought of my companions as companions, not friends. So, when I started to seriously doubt, I didn't have anyone close to that I could trust with my thoughts and feelings. The other was for five or six years about 10 or 15 years ago. Therapy and finding the right anti-depressant seems to have ended that.

[Res Ipsa]

That's an interesting way of describing loneliness.

You can have a lot of good friends, but you'll still feel lonely if you don't care about them. It's a sad truth.

We need to feel a connection with the people we care about.

That situation is hard for me to picture. I wouldn't consider someone I didn't care about as a friend, let alone a "good friend." To me, caring is one of the fundamentals of friendship.

[Morley]

What is it you want, Thomas?

What changes do you want society to make? What do you wish folks here would do differently? Let's say you're really concerned that young women, who are putting off childbearing, are getting more diabetes. Or that you really believe the drug cartels are shipping men to America, who can make money and then go back home to Mexico rich enough to steal your girlfriends. What do you want people to change? You complain that modern young men are lonely and can't make friends or find nubile, fecund dating material. What are you asking of the board and, indeed, of the larger culture?

Folks here are sympathetic of your situation, but you seemingly shrug off advice or suggestions about how to change your own life and circumstances, and persist in thinking that it's the world around you that needs to change. I may be wrong, but you seem to be doing the equivalent of complaining that the ocean is too big, and too damn wet.

[doubtingthomas]

The other was for five or six years about 10 or 15 years ago. Therapy and finding the right anti-depressant seems to have ended that.

That's good to hear.

That situation is hard for me to picture. I wouldn't consider someone I didn't care about as a friend, let alone a "good friend."

Coworkers? Neighbors? teammates? church members?

Some people invite you to a bar or somewhere else because they have no one else to invite.

[doubtingthomas]

You complain that modern young men are lonely and can't make friends or find nubile, fecund dating material. What are you asking of the board and, indeed, of the larger culture?

I understand people here can't do anything to fix things.

Folks here are sympathetic of your situation, but you seemingly shrug off advice or suggestions about how to change your own life and circumstances, and persist in thinking that it's the world around you that needs to change. I may be wrong, but you seem to be doing the equivalent of complaining that the ocean is too big, and too damn wet.

I tried many things and did listen to a lot of advice.

[Res Ipsa]

The other was for five or six years about 10 or 15 years ago. Therapy and finding the right anti-depressant seems to have ended that.

That's good to hear.

That situation is hard for me to picture. I wouldn't consider someone I didn't care about as a friend, let alone a "good friend."

Coworkers? Neighbors? teammates? church members?

Some people invite you to a bar or somewhere else because they have no one else to invite.

Maybe it's just semantics, but I don't consider co-workers or teammates or fellow church members automatically as friends. It takes more than just being around someone regularly, as far as I'm concerned. I invite people somewhere when I want them to be there and I assume it works the other way. I wouldn't invite someone to a bar if I didn't want to hang out with them in a bar.

[doubtingthomas]

I invite people somewhere when I want them to be there and I assume it works the other way. I wouldn't invite someone to a bar if I didn't want to hang out with them in a bar.

True, but some people use you. Some people pretend to be your friend, but talk a lot of crap behind your back.

Others do like you, but don't help you in times of need.

[Dr. Shades]

True, but some people use you. Some people pretend to be your friend, but talk a lot of crap behind your back.

Others do like you, but don't help you in times of need.

How many of your friends fit those descriptions?

[doubtingthomas]

How many of your friends fit those descriptions?

A lot.

How are you atlanticmike?