I will have enough for an entire book before this “scandal” is done.
Hunter, while living in California, decides to fly 3,000 miles to Delaware. All to drop off a laptop for repair, coincidentally at a huge MAGA fan shop.
he decided to never pick up his own laptop.
There’s security footage of it, but it got lost. Epstein style.
But don’t worry- the MAGA man swears he saw him drop it off. Turns out he has a mental condition where he CANNOT RECOGNIZE FACES (I’m not joking) he knew it was hunters though, cause of the stickers on the laptop...
MAGA man, naturally, didn’t just erase and resell the laptop, but did the totally normal thing of duplicating the hard drive and spending hours sorting through thousands of emails to find one that suggests Hunter might’ve tried to arrange a meeting with daddy Biden
no evidence any meeting ever occurred, but who cares.
In comes Rudy Giuliani, cyber security expert, and talking set of teeth -who was tricked by Borat, and periodically butt dials reporters on accident -he has ‘confirmed’ the information not even the FBI could.
Rudy was so worried about the intel, he sat on the laptop for months until 3 weeks before the election.
Naturally, it proves Hunter was into pedo devil sex too, but the proof is secret and for Rudy’s eyes only.
there’s a video of said drug fueled sexcapades, but again, you just gotta trust rudy
Rudy refuses to send any electronic proof of the emails to anyone. But it’s definitely real, and definitely exists
Heh. Again- not a single news agency has actually seen any proof, except for photos of printed emails. This is why ThEY WoNT CoVeR iT
He was ‘confirming’ it the same time Trump received an intel briefing that Rudy was unknowingly being used by Russian operatives to spread disinformation. Lmao.
Rudy, tired of getting made fun of, tweets some more ‘source material’ text messages... except the text is in an app that didn’t exist at the time it supposedly happened, and...literally in Russia. Poor guy.
This was all also investigated by a real Post reporter who refused to put their name on it, as no part of it could be verified. Several news outlets also passed on the story for the same reason, including FoxNews and WSJ. Ended up written by Sean Hannity’s producer. Lol.
Now comes a guy named Bobulinski - alleging he, uhh met with Biden to discuss a Chinese business deal
. He has proof, of course: ‘documents’ he says
naturally, he actually hasn’t released anything.
The WSJ opinion section finally publishes a Bobulinkski piece. Note: opinion section, not news, as they still couldn’t verify anything. It alleges the above Chinese deal. They very next day, the WSJ news section refutes the entire thing, using Bobulinksi’s own source material.
Here comes Tucker Carlson. He is about to release a bombshell. All the emails. Proving everything. Unfortunately, these apparently only existed as single physical copies. The emails. Electronic mails. Only existed as one physical copy. (Got that?). Sadly, these printed non-electronic emails were lost (stolen!) in the mail, and no one ever made a copy
, so we may never know which dog ate Tucker’s homework or who made-up this made-up story.
Next up is Martin Aspen, Swiss intelligence operative. He is the basis for many of these allegations and brought it public in a dossier that the PRESIDENT received.. it turns out he is not real. Literally, they made his face on a face generator and gave him a cute linkedIn profile at a fake company. Probably just a cover for the deep state.
I think I’ve got it all, but hard to say as they keep making new stuff up.
Edit: Tucker has retrieved the mystery documents. Still don't know what's in them, but coincidentally he thinks we should give Hunter a break, and pretend like none of this happened.
I've posted a partial list of sources below. I'm supposed to be working right now, so its all I've got time for.
Also, I refuse to remove my emojis. Screw all of you.
- Doc