Anyway, two elders showed up last week and their approach rubbed me the wrong way. Since my neighbor across the street is our home teacher/minister, he was supposed to keep us off the visit list, but something must have fallen through. They obviously knew who we were, confirming me by name. Then right off the bat, at the doorstep, they launch into "So why aren't you going to church anymore?" At that moment, I got a little ticked off and snarky. They don't know me at all and haven't done anything to BRT (Build Relationships of Trust - the old mish acronym from my day), and then they go straight for a deeply personal question that cannot be expressed in a single sentence (well it actually can - "I don't believe the church is true", but I just don't like to go there with people I don't even know. I like to be a little more nuanced in my explanation). So it kind of pissed me off, but then at the same time, I remember doing the same thing to inactives I met along the way during my mission. So maybe I was little annoyed at myself too, thinking back how clueless I was at 19. I had zero life experience, zero wisdom, and zero real empathy - I was just charging around doing what I was told to do and how to behave. I have a son that age right now, and while he is a great kid and mature beyond his years, he still doesn't have the life experience yet to teach personal life lessons to anyone about anything (unless we are talking Fortnight, Battlefield 6, or Call of Duty).
I ended up responding by saying something like "You know, its a long story over several years, and I don't like getting into it with people so young in the faith as yourselves, as I really don't want to do or say anything that might hurt or damage you guys". To which they laughingly responded in typical proud, bold, strong in the faith missionaries they are taught to be, that there was nothing I could say that would sway them or cause them to doubt as they have heard it all...... Heavy sigh. They still wanted me to explain more, but I just left them with a "Listen guys. I have been where you are. In this exact spot, over 30 years ago. I know what it feels like to be you and what you are doing. I've probably forgotten more about the church than you currently know right now. I've lived a lot more life than you have, which has given me a different perspective. I wish you the best on the rest of your missions. Focus on getting to know people, being humble, and being willing to learn from others. Have a great day." And then I closed the door.
Overall the experience left me more convinced that the purpose of the missionary program is not to bring others to the church. Its an incidental benefit that happens here and there, but it definitely more about the experience for the missionary and solidifying them in the faith through an arduous suffering experience. The move to allow the ladies to go out at 19 just confirmed this. It's now just a bunch of youth going out on an extended EFY trip.
