The Afore's Inconsolable Existential Crisis On His Coral Princess Cruise

[Everybody Wang Chung]

Folks, you truly cannot make this up. Over on that obscure, copy-paste blog where the Afore entertains his tiny circle of crazies, he’s spiraling into his latest drama. While on his luxury Alaskan cruise, the Afore immediately plunged into a full-blown existential crisis, even quoting Goethe and C.S. Lewis to explain why he’s so depressed that he doesn't personally own the Canadian Rockies.

Picture the Afore wrapped in a blanket on his ship's balcony, sobbing over the agonizing, fleeting nature of the cosmos. This deep "divine homesickness" he claims to have is actually just an incredibly selfish and expensive first-world problem. The Afore is profoundly devastated that he can’t buy a mountain range and keep it all to himself. It takes a spectacular breed of narcissism to take a luxury vacation and turn it into a personal tragedy. Will the cure for his painful, inconsolable grief involve stuffing his gullet with more trips to the buffet, or will he simply book a larger suite? I can't wait to find out.

Seriously, is there any greater tragedy than picturing the Afore as an eleven-year-old Boy Scout, staring at a California campfire and thinking, "Ah, yes, this reminds me of Wandrers Nachtlied II," instead of just eating his damn s'more?

[Philo Sofee]

LOL! I do think he is simply finding a way, a rather odd way to be sure, of trying to expound on the stunning gorgeousness of the Canadian Rockies. I have never seen them, but my parents did and they also lamented they couldn't take more time to be in them. At least in the summer anyway. I betchta winter in the rockies SUCKS......

[Gadianton]

Right, basically his way of bragging that he can afford the cruise -- not just this cruise, the travel lifestyle in general -- while others can't, in particular, most of his followers on his blog.

But he's right that the cosmos is fleeting, and all these good times will come to an end one day and then -- blackness, nothing.

[malkie]

I don't know why a faithful LDS should experience any such angst: he can build his own in the hereafter.

[Philo Sofee]

Right, basically his way of bragging that he can afford the cruise -- not just this cruise, the travel lifestyle in general -- while others can't, in particular, most of his followers on his blog.

But he's right that the cosmos is fleeting, and all these good times will come to an end one day and then -- blackness, nothing.

You can't possibly know that, so I chalk it up to yet another interpretation..... I personally opt for the optimistic one, life finds a way ya know......

[Gadianton]

I don't know why a faithful LDS should experience any such angst: he can build his own in the hereafter.

That's true, he will get a planet and he can build his own (likely have them built by somebody else) mountains that are even more majestic than the Canadian mountains. I'm curious, how do you think the Afore appraises the beauty of mountains? In the hereafter, he could use a celestial AI or get Bob Ross to design them, but what do you think defines the beauty that lives up to his standards?

Why are these big jagged rocky things beautiful? Is it because God created them? If so, God also created lower mountains and a lot of other stuff, does the Afore think every piece of nature is equally beautiful because by definition it must be given God created it? Are the Canadian Rockies more beautiful than Battle Mountain Nevada? If there are degrees of objective beauty, and they aren't equal merely because God created them, then what is the objective standard that they are based upon?

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

I don't know why a faithful LDS should experience any such angst: he can build his own in the hereafter.

… how do you think the Afore appraises the beauty of mountains? In the hereafter, he could use a celestial AI or get Bob Ross to design them, but what do you think defines the beauty that lives up to his standards?

He’ll just copy someone else’s creation and take credit for it.

[malkie]

I don't know why a faithful LDS should experience any such angst: he can build his own in the hereafter.

That's true, he will get a planet and he can build his own (likely have them built by somebody else) mountains that are even more majestic than the Canadian mountains. I'm curious, how do you think the Afore appraises the beauty of mountains? In the hereafter, he could use a celestial AI or get Bob Ross to design them, but what do you think defines the beauty that lives up to his standards?

Why are these big jagged rocky things beautiful? Is it because God created them? If so, God also created lower mountains and a lot of other stuff, does the Afore think every piece of nature is equally beautiful because by definition it must be given God created it? Are the Canadian Rockies more beautiful than Battle Mountain Nevada? If there are degrees of objective beauty, and they aren't equal merely because God created them, then what is the objective standard that they are based upon?

It's difficult to say, of course - de gustibus non disputandum est, and all that. I contributed some images to a Facebook page that my sister administered, and found out very quickly that my taste was quite different from that of most of the other members. For example, I had to provide trigger warnings and a link instead of just displaying images of bugs that I would contend are beautiful.

[huckelberry]

I am puzzled by people's lack of recognition of the emotions Dan describes. Like C.S. Lewis notes, some people can feel a pain seeing beauty on the edge of transitory. Maybe if life had less beauty its end would be less sad. Or does the brevity of beauty make an end something to be reconciled with?

Well I like Malkie's bugs.

I cannot imagine s'mores on an 11-day backpack but boy scouts can be resourceful little buggers so maybe somebody carried the makings along.

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

I am puzzled by

“satire.”

FTFY