The truth hurts.

[LittleNipper]

Place a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses locked together with a pair of Mormon Missionaries, and a day later you will open the door to discover four battered young men strangled by their neckties, among scattered copies of the AWAKE, WATCHTOWER, and pages from the Book of Mormon.

[drumdude]

Huh?

[LittleNipper]

Heavens, there appears to be someone here besides how do you say, Mr. Shulem.

[huckelberry]

Somehow I cannot imagine such an outcome. Nipper, do you know any in real life Mormons? Of course there are a variety, but, huh?

[Gadianton]

At least they accomplished something. If it were for reborns, they'd be sitting round talking in circles about Jesus and he's their best friend and in the room even though nothing's happening. Might get a little heated as each one thinks he's their own guy more than the others'. They might smoke some pot; or just say Jesus is their drug. Might pretend to wig out and say it's tongues.

[Shulem]

At least they accomplished something. If it were for reborns, they'd be sitting round talking in circles about Jesus and he's their best friend and in the room even though nothing's happening. Might get a little heated as each one thinks he's their own guy more than the others'. They might smoke some pot; or just say Jesus is their drug. Might pretend to wig out and say it's tongues.

Yeah, Jesus freaks can be a bit weird to watch. They know how to put on a good show. Jesus freaks are very patient as they live out their lives hoping their dear Lord (imaginary friend teddy bear) will come again someday but he never does, cuzz he's dead. Thousands of years go by but they still wait for him. It's f-ing crazy.

So stupid too.

[Limnor]

I don’t think the opening post really worked as satire. Maybe if I understood the key underlying differences between Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons the exploding punch line would have landed better. I like good satire, but prefer satire that exposes something I hadn’t thought about before or reveals an uncomfortable truth. All this seems to have accomplished was invite counter mockery.

Maybe this: lock a pair of Jehovah’s Witness, two Mormon missionaries, two Roman Catholics, two Greek Orthodox adherents, two Methodists, and two Presbyterians in a room overnight. By morning you’ll find six notebooks scribbled with proof-texts and counter proof-texts and a couple of catechisms and articles of faith, and everyone convinced the others “almost” understood the gospel. Meanwhile, one attendee has slipped out the back door and went to visit the homeless, the widows, and the orphans.

[Shulem]

Maybe this: lock a pair of Jehovah’s Witness, two Mormon missionaries, two Roman Catholics, two Greek Orthodox adherents, two Methodists, and two Presbyterians in a room overnight. By morning you’ll find six notebooks scribbled with proof-texts and counter proof-texts and a couple of catechisms and articles of faith, and everyone convinced the others “almost” understood the gospel. Meanwhile, one attendee has slipped out the back door and went to visit the homeless, the widows, and the orphans.

Perfect. And profound.

[Gadianton]

Funny you should bring it up Limnor, and props to the one who helped the homeless rather than spend years posting the Bible from beginning to end (with no commentary) on a message board a few verses at a time that nobody reads.

Having ran into Jehovah's Witnesses multiple times on my mission, I can say that my predicted result is nothing will happen in this scenario. JW's in general are far more practiced than Mormons and are incredibly unlikely to debate. Like Dan, I was sometimes a hothead on my mission, and I was definitely up for arguing, in fact, I had a dedicated Bible with a tab system ready to go for the occasion. Unlike Dan, I cringe now when thinking back to what a moron I must have looked like. Mormons are taught not to debate, but there is a ton of flexibility there. JWs are far better at sticking to the script. Both in principle are there "to teach, and not to be taught" but JWs are more serious in practice.

I've ran into them door to door a couple of times, one time was pretty funny because we were going in the opposite direction on the same street and met in the middle. That ended the afternoon in that area for both of us, of course. The junior guy and I joked about that and talked a little bit about how tough it was. He said, "I think they like you guys more than they like us." The senior guy maintained full FBI composure and I don't recall saying anything, just looked at his companion as if it were inappropriate for him to converse like that. The other time was something like, "oh it's you guys, ha ha" and that was that.

One JW lady let us in and went into fanatic mode. Oh, they aren't supposed to bash but they can aggressively preach. They can throw the Bible in your face and lay down the law, but; so, this lady was on a roll, and in response to my companion pointing out something that she wasn't prepared to answer immediately slammed her Bible shut, put on nice face, and asked us what we though of the area. So we chatted a bit nicely and that was that. We crashed their meetinghouse once, probably to see if we'd poke the bear. I have to give them credit, one of their main elders, super slick dude, disarmed us immediately, "Welcome guys, let's find you folks some Watchtowers and get you a seat," something like that. The thing about them is that they do rounds their whole lives so a guy like that in his early thirties probably has a ton of experience dealing with people and I'd say had me outclassed for sure. He said something about if we needed a Bible, implying the inferiority of ours in respect to the proper translation that they had, but the way he said it was just hilarious, so he had some skills.

[Shulem]

Place a pair...

Thou hypocrite, LittleNipper. Jesus never knew you! Here is a one-two punch!!

Christian apostles in the same room fighting and arguing is par for the course.

1. Paul & Barnabas arguing sharply about missionary work and who to take on their next mission in order to dupe people into believing that Jesus died for their sins!



2. Peter & Paul at Antioch arguing in public about the treatment of Gentiles and proving how hypocritical Christian apostles can be and just as racial as Brigham Young and Mormons today!