Time to Call It: "Witnesses" is a Box Office Flop

[Doctor Scratch]

I see that Dr. Peterson is working desperately to try to spin-doctor the film's box office performance. Look: it was a box-office flop. There is no way around that, and we will be able to say forever and ever that it was a "box office bomb," because by definition, that's what it was. Sure: it was there alongside "tentpole" Hollywood films, but so what? Every other box-office flop can claim the same thing. You can sense DCP's frustration and agony in this comment:

LOL. It's so characteristic and revealing that you felt the urgent compulsion to post such a comment. Maybe that's what comes with so successful a life as yours, such a superb education, and so impeccable a community reputation? (We peasants can only gape in awe.)

Of course, we never ever imagined ourselves outperforming, say, Titanic or Avatar. What about your film, though? I would imagine that you must have been very pleased when it outperformed both of those. What was its title, again?

Nuh uh! I bet *you* haven't made a movie! I have though, and even though it was a box-office flop, at least I made a movie! Well, I guess it's a variation on the old saying: better to have made a movie that failed, then to never have made any movie at all?

Perhaps even more interesting, though, as the Reverend noted, is the plan to do another film. I caught the bit on an earlier post where DCP said that he absolutely would not reveal any details about this potential second film, presumably because he cannot take any more criticism at this point. The devastation over having this film turn out to be a "flop" must really sting.

[Dr Moore]

I caught the bit on an earlier post where DCP said that he absolutely would not reveal any details about this potential second film, presumably because he cannot take any more criticism at this point. The devastation over having this film turn out to be a "flop" must really sting.

Makes sense. As I've said, it is highly likely that film 1.0 was successful enough to win new funding. Film 2.0 will come with higher expectations, however. Experience only counts if you do better next time.

[drumdude]

Defame the [LIving and the] Dead: "When you stack it up against other theatrical films, Witnesses ranks in at number 8,738 in terms of domestic theatrical box office proceeds:"

LOL. It's so characteristic and revealing that you felt the urgent compulsion to post such a comment. Maybe that's what comes with so successful a life as yours, such a superb education, and so impeccable a community reputation? (We peasants can only gape in awe.)

Of course, we never ever imagined ourselves outperforming, say, Titanic or Avatar. What about your film, though? I would imagine that you must have been very pleased when it outperformed both of those. What was its title, again?

Again with the childish "how did YOUR movie perform, huh?" How this guy got a doctorate is beyond me. They must have been giving them out like candy in the late 70s.

[Doctor Scratch]

Maybe the Mopologists’ second film will actually draw some critical attention. “September Dawn” got reviewed by all the major media outlets. Nobody seemed to think that “Witnesses” was worth the time or money.

[Kishkumen]

Makes sense. As I've said, it is highly likely that film 1.0 was successful enough to win new funding. Film 2.0 will come with higher expectations, however. Experience only counts if you do better next time.

My personal recommendation, based on my own viewing of the first film, would be to trim the fat and strive to be a little less clever and defensive. No need to satisfy the critics’ taunts that you left out Fanny Alger this time. Only put those things in the film that contribute to the story. Be more economical in your writing and more streamlined.

[Moksha]

I think Dr. Peterson said the next film project was a docudrama and was mostly finished. I would be making a big guess to think that Dr. Peterson was taking the Bette Midler part and Dr. Midgley and Kiwi would be doing the roles of Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy. Details of the plot are unavailable.

[Dr Exiled]

The next film will definitely be more propaganda, no doubt. I don't think the donors would allow anything but. Perhaps it could be a docudrama about the creation of the "revelatory" family proclamation and how the fight against them gays led to the supposed crowning achievement? Too bad it's a hill that the church will die on. Thank goodness they saw the foresight to divert their charitable funds toward investments.

[Doctor Scratch]

I agree that the second film--if it winds up happening--will be propaganda. But my guess is that it will either be a film adaptation of "Added Upon," which would be both hilarious and disastrous, or it will be some stupid dramatization of NDEs. I think that doing "Added Upon" would be a bold choice, and I would applaud the Mopologists if they went in that direction, but think that it's more likely that they'll lean in a schmaltzier direction and will try to tug and heartstrings by doing a Hallmark Channel-esque movie about someone who has a NDE.

[Sledge]

I have some ideas for sequel names:

Witnesses 2: Witness Harder
Witnesses Into Darkness
Witnesses 2: Satan Strikes Back
Witnesses 2: The Wrath of Satan
Witnesses 2: Judgement Day
The Witnesses Strike Again
Witnesses: Here We Go Again
Witnesses and the Chamber of Secrets
Witnesses 2049
Brides of Witnesses

[drumdude]

Witnesses 2: Electric Boogaloo