fanatic= a person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal, as in religion or politics.
beastie, the operant word here is uncritical. That is what sets faithful members apart from fanatics. Every member of the Church is taught, counseled, advised, cajoled to study for themselves, ponder, pray, receive their own and in groups and finally get their own spiritual confirmation, We are told not to rely on any other person, but to have our own spiritual strength. If we are studying, pondering, listening, discussing, there is a great deal of critical thought going on.
You are doing what you have been taught to do. You are uncritically accepting that your private, testimonial/spiritual event means exactly what you think it means.
If you thought critically about it you would realize that it is simply not possible for you to KNOW that your spiritual event was/is qualitatively different than that which "fanatics" experience.
It is not possible due to the very nature and definition of the event - it is completely internal and unmeasurable.
Abraham was told by God. Nephi was instructed by an angel. The pioneers had not choice. Fanatics drove them from their homes in the winter. That is the difference between a faithful member and a fanatic.
You think that the followers of Heaven's Gate DIDN'T think they were being "told by God" to kill themselves, to castrate themselves??? That's why they DID IT.